My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No Business Like Snow Business

Christmas may be over, but winter is here to stay - or at least it is for you poor Northern schmoes. Me, I'm enjoying the 70 degree weather with all the windows open. (Yep, I'm going to be THAT GUY. Wanna see a photo of my feet in flip-flops? Huh? Do ya?)

Of course, all this Florida sunshine does mean I miss out on the best part of winter: building a snowman. So I guess I'll have to get my vicarious thrills through these bakers' versions:

Ah, it's the ol' Fez-wearing, Zuchinni-nosed, Oogie-Boogie model! (And judging by those "sprinkles," this Nightmare After Christmas has a cold. Yech.)


By the way, why do so many snowman cakes have feet? Am I missing something, or do the flotsam designers all live in Florida, too?

The Jumping Jack Flash.


Here's the number one reason yellow snowmen are a bad idea:

To say nothing of using "logs" for arms.


If I ever had the chance, I'd totally build this Stalker Snowman peeking over a hedge in the front yard:

I always feel like
Somebody's WATCHING mee-eee-eee!


Or mabye this I Love Lucy Snowwoman:

All she's missing is a bottle of VitaMeataVegimen.

"Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well, ARE YOU?!"


Hey, check it out: this guy's on a roll!

Not to mention the stuff that sticky nightmares are made of. o.0


I'd like to make it perfectly clear that this next cake is NOT a wreck, although it still makes me laugh every time I see it. It is, in fact, my favorite snowman cake of all time:

By Jason Boyce

You can almost see those stick hands patting around, looking for their head, right?


Well, enjoy your snowy fun, my friends, and maybe think of me and my flip-flops from time to time:

Or just Twizzlers between your toes. :D


Thanks to Linda B., Kristin F., Kathy H., Elizabeth C., Amy A., Holly M., Lisa C., & Stephanie R. for the frosted Frostys.

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Reader Comments (47)

Love the snowman looking for his head-gave ME the giggles XD the flipflops are so awful it's funny and the rest of them make me go wtf D:

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I really need to learn not to drink warm wintery beverages (ie - hot cocoa) while reading your commentary. I simultaneously scalded my tongue and chocolatified my desk :\

The stalker snow-man is mega-cute, in a creepy "can't sleep Frosty will eat me" sort of way.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

Sung to "There's No Business Like Show Business" (It just popped in my head. Huh.)

There's no people like snow people
Like no people I know
Never saw a snowman with zucchini
Jumping Jack Flash Snowman, take a bow!
Avoid yellow snow when it is steaming
Poo log arms give you that extra "Wow!"

There's no stalkers like snow stalkers
They crouch down there so low
Even "I Love Lucy" looks so great in snow
She shouldn't drink the whole bottle, though
It's so hard to be a sticky cin'mon roll
Your head's down in the snow!

You've twizzlers 'tween your toes!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

That first snowman must have stolen the fez from the Doctor as revenge for the Christmas special. You know, because fezzes are cool.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The headless snowman looks like a "Calvin & Hobbes" snowman! Too cute!!!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I love the headless snowman! Very reminiscent of Calvin & Hobbes! My favorite by far, and I am glad you don't think it's a wreck, either. I also want to build a stalker snowman peeking out from the hedge, and I CAN, cuz here in Michigan, we get plenty of the white fluffy stuff!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDorene

Fez-wearing, Zuchinni-nosed, Oogie-Boogie model seems to be sporting Nike shoes as well. Yeah, I'm with you. Why would you put shoes, not to mention legs, on a snowman? WHY? At least with the flotsam on Jumping Jack Flash you can tell it's a snowman and not a dancing poodle like the last one.

I'm in southern New Mexico and we don't get snow either. We were singing "I'm dreaming of a brown Christmas" for all the desert dirt the wind was swirling around. Tumbleweed snowmen are about all we can produce in the winter.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon's Edible Art

Actually, it's raining here. It was supposed to be snow, or a snow/sleet mix, but instead it's all rain. Curse you, global warming!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

@Becky - Yeah, I guess he figured the fez would look waaay better than the bow tie...;-)

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

The cinnamon roll snowman is just about the worst thing I've ever seen. I hate store bought cinnamon rolls with their nasty frosting but this is just way over the top!!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersparkling74

I'm from Phoenix, so my primary exposure to snowmen is through art. These look nothing like the art, except for the "Calvin and Hobbes" one.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Not to start an "Epcot" or anything, but today is only the 3rd day of Christmas. There are 12 days of Christmas, beginning on Dec. 25th and ending on Jan. 5th.

That aside, thank you for another great year of Cake Wrecks!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPromise

What's fun is when they plow driveways and you end up with 5ft piles of snow blocking your view down the road. I might have to try the stalker on a snowbank once I get home since I had piles a couple feet high around 6am and still have to clean up the snow that has fallen since.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbelblue

LOVE the Calvin & Hobbes snowman! We had a few of those in our yard when we lived up north, to balance out the snow animal sculptures, After moving to Texas, we make C&H inspired snowman cookies instead.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

Sharyn bwahahaha

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm totally with those who noticed that Calvin and Hobbes have somehow sneaked their way into Cakewrecks. Brilliant!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMe

What a great surprise to wake up and see that you'd used my stalker snowman photo! Love the site so much, I feel honored.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLadybuglizzy

Calvin & Hobbes, Doctor Who & Lucy too? Thanks!

Oh, and I'm with @Promise - Christmas still lasts for nine more days!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay W

#1: Uh, you've got a little something in your nose there, SnOogie (it's short for Snow Oogie).

#2: Apparently, snowpeople have started wearing Harem pants. They match the fez.

#3: Why? It was kinda cute without the yellow snowman, even with the plastic flotsam (except that mitten ball thingy).

#4: Sadly, I do not have hedges. Or snow.

#5: Hee! I love I Love Lucy! That is striking resemblance, too, except for the claw hands...

#6: No. Just. No.

#7: That is awesome!

#8: I don't think your feet would even fit in there. the strappy parts are connected to the middles of the 'shoes'.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

For the third cake, he not only has questionable looking "log" arms, but he's made of yellow snow. *gag*

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

@ Donna

Definitely a C&H snowman!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

Stalker Snowman: "Hi-dee Ho, Neighbor!"

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren R

Snowmen have legs - proof is the lyrics to the song "Frosty the Snowman" where he is described as dancing around and running around the square - not rolling mind you, but running, for which one needs legs.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

I'm guessing none of the wreckerators have actually SEEN a real snowman. Or possibly real flip-flops.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

The headless snowman isn't the only one that's reminiscent of Calvin and Hobbes: The one lurking behind the pile of cupcakes (which, for the record, I really like, whether it was meant to be funny or not) reminded me of a strip where he built a giant snowman head peering over one of the many inexplicable cliffs that dot the landscape of his back yard. The last panel is his dad looking over his shoulder and doing a take. Maddeningly, I can't find a link to it even with the aid of the Calvin and Hobbes Search Engine.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

#1 Frosting the Snowman. Mmmmm.

#2 Not sure this one has enough 'tude to be MC Lambchop, but the comment-creator of same will have to make that call. Is a fez-wearing snowman a 'thing'?

#3 Leaving aside the um, 'snowman' and the tree (which is either the top of a giant redwood or the bakery was having a brown frosting promotion), my question concerns the mitten-containing orb and the arc associated with it. Said question would of course be, "why?"

#4 This one, which I am constrained to point out must have come from Calvin & Hobbes, is actually a rather (forces himself to say it) good job -- for a wreck. [pre-emptive ear scratch] There's nothing at all wonky about the 'nose'; apart from being glow-in-the-dark orange, it could pass for a real carrot.

#5 Jen nailed this one, no question.

#7 Oh. I, er, um... Theardare, Jen called this one. Jen is our friend -- if not for her, you, the Bunker and the rest of this wacky universe wouldn't exist. See, it has the maker's name on it and everything. Nice kitty...

#8 Platform flip-flops. From the box-office soft tap, 'Frankenstein ('s monster) Goes to the Beach'. It went to DVD the following day, but DVD didn't want it, either.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Just the thought of red licorice between the toes is rather off-putting. Actually, that's two separate problems--1. candy between the toes and 2. red licorice, which is usually strawberry or cherry flavored, not anise, so how can it be licorice?

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Right with you, @Promise.

@Karen R., Home Improvement FTW!

Oh good -- someone else knows the 'stalker snowman' C&H strip. Finding it is another matter. Thanks for looking, @Steve the Pocket

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Darlin', the best way to make snowmen is with 2 feet of snow. :-)

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMisty o C

Ok, wreck #6 ... the buns with the fruit roll up scarf, has left me speechless. fortunately I don't need to be able to speak to leave a comment!

I love the calvin and hobbes inspired snowman cake!

Jen, I got Wreck the Halls from Santa for Christmas ... I've been walking around giggle-snorting the last few days. Thank you!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

How hard is it to make 3 circles and stack them on top of each other? Obviously harder then you would think.
Love the Calvin and Hobbs snowman! Flipflops? Licorice between the toes? Naaaaaaasty!!! Really loving the Home Improvement Wilson-esque guy.

Has that wreckorator never heard the phrase "Don't eat yellow snow!"? Sheesh...

You guys rock! Thanks for making me giggle through the rest of my day!

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Living in JenLando I can proudly state I needed the defrost on when I drove to work today! That's cold for us down here! (tee hee) I was in short sleeves, though.

Yes, TWO C&H inspired beauties in here today- makes me almost as happy as a Friday at quitting time. (I'd have to be allowed to nibble them to be that happy on a Thursday)

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Yesterday, I got a late Christmas present, and guess what it was! Guess! Guess! GUESS!!!!!!! Oh, sorry l'm a little excitable. Anyway, it was a classic piece of American literature, written by a vey intelligent author: "Wreck the Halls" by Jen Yates. It wasn't until I read the About the Author section that I found Jen used to be a Jungle Cruise skipper. Lucky! That's my dream job! Only problem is, I live in DC.

December 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

I really, really, really, really want the stalker snowman cupcake arrangement at my next party. It's fantastic.

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCurrer Bell

While I must agree with everyone on the C&H cake, I find that it also resembles something that Jason from "FoxTrot" could have made.

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCyberjar88

Well I loved that cute headless snowman. The rest of these are planning on haunting my dreams tonight especially the yellow snowman lol. Sheesh what on earth do wreckerators do after the bakery closes? Plot how to ruin the days cakes for the rest of the world probably.

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Craig - Thanks for heading off Theadare @ the pass. <grin> I think he much prefers you and/or Andrea to me...which is odd because I *love* cats & would probably have many more than the two I own (or own me) now, except my hubby is so *not* an animal lover. The kids and I finally broke him down after about ten years and a gerbil murder. Only then did he agree to cats.

(?Gerbil murder?! Yes, we had a pair purchased *together* so they were supposed to get along, being cage-mates & all, but after several months together, poor Karate Lady's Daughter walked into her room to find a mini-CSI scene in the gerbil cage. The death sentence for the offender was commuted to life imprisonment @ a friend's house.)

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

and that is what jumping jack should look like

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

BTW yellow snowman is in Wreck the Halls

December 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

stupid Florida. I'm stuck in pa freezing. well at least I didn't lose my head!

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermooseluver

KarateLady, I'm so sorry about your gerbil murder itself, which is horrible and traumatic, but your description of it as a "mini-CSI scene" was adorable. I chortled.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Rainbow bacon scarf
brings out my varigated
daisies of despair.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you build with yellow snow. But fezzes are cool.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrj

@Haiku Joy - Thank you for your condolences. I will pass them on to the Daughter & keep your chortles to myself. ;-) And your haiku was excellent!

PS Before the Daughter went to camp this year, we had to visit the vet, who assured her that the cats would not kill each other in her absence; it was just sibling rivalry and easily fixed with an estrogen shot. (they're girl cats) Hmmm...think it would work on Internet trolls?! ;-) (at least the female ones!)

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Um... I was there December 27. We took our four children to Disney World for Christmas (because we are FREAKING NUTS!!!!). It wasn't 70 degrees. At least, not in Disney World. In fact, we had to purchase jackets, gloves, and hats (the insanely cool Star Wars Character Mickey Ears mash-ups that Tatooine Traders sells in Hollywood Studios, so, you know, it wasn't that much of an inconvenience) to use for several 30 degree days...

Just sayin'...

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Whoa. I had just been listening to Somebody's Watching Me a bare few minutes before reading this post. Why do I always feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone?
Speaking of which, who else watched The Twilight Zone New Year's Marathon on SciFi? Doo-dee-doo-doo-doo-dee-doo-doo!

January 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Catching up on my CW reading... and must echo a love for C&H as well. And a Foxtrot reference, too. Loved the Headless and spying cakes. A friend of mine creates snowman-art on his lawn as a tribute to Calvin most winters! The photos are a hoot. I love how the comic strip ended so long ago (deprivation), yet it remains beloved and remembered.

As for the rest, really, three balls with coal eyes and a carrot nose are THAT hard to create?! children can draw a snowman without difficulty.

And no sympathy for the flip-flop wearing. We've been having to shovel ever 2-3 days this winter. But at least the view of the park outside my office window is lovely!

January 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

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