My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

How to Make Your Twins Hate You

You know how I've said before that the main thing I despise about CCCs (that's cupcake cakes, for you newbies) is all the icing slathered in the gaps? And how "cupcake mosaics", or CCCs that use individually iced cupcakes, aren't quite so bad?

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to rescind that.

And to think I was horrified at the split sheet cake. Yowza.

Let's see: moldy camo and blue roses. [Chandler Bing voice] Could this BE any more wrong, Ila P.?

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Reader Comments (162)

Well, at least it's the boy who got the short end of the stick this time...kind of evens things out. Of course, I think, as far as short sticks go, this is just a fragment of bark with a few shreds of xylem clinging weakly to it. If that's supposed to be camoflage, I don't want to see this decorator's rendition of freshly vomited Trix cereal...

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGrayRat

It looks like the right corners are moldy!

As a December 19th baby.. I've had to share many cakes with my Christmas day baby cousin...much to my dismay. Parents, it's not cool to combine things, just get them two separate small cakes!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Poor Vernon. Unfortunate name, ugly cupcakes, and not as many cupcakes as his sister. I think we know who's the favorite.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna T

Can you tell who the favorite twin is?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

Jeez, moldy cupcakes will sure make your twin hate you, especially when about 85% of this "cake" is made up of cute blue and white cupcakes that match yours.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAna Cristina

I love the Chandler Bing voice

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Poor Vernon got less cupcakes... he will now be scarred for life!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkdmoffett25

Vernon... I told you eating all of the cheese doodles and spinach dip would make you sick! But next time, aim for the trash can!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoonstaff

word verification
Cabli - Actually chablis but after you've downed the whole bottle

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Poor Vernon!

I mean could the parents have been any more obvious about which twin they like more?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica T.

Looks like Vernon got jipped on his cupcakes!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

I think we can tell who the favorite in this family is. Jenny, Vernon's going to be talking about you in therapy years from now. I can just hear the conversation that took place when this cake was displayed.
"How come Jenny gets blue roses and I got mold?"
"Mold is manly son..."
"But I want a blue quarter of the cake looks contagious."
"Shaddup and eat your mold, boy. It'll put hair on your chest...and maybe your tongue."

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Well... It is vile. And as the mother of twins, I learned very early on to get them their own cakes.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

YK, they could've at least colored half of "Happy Birthday" camo! That way, it'd be more "even" looking! LOL.

WV: alaviv - combining said twins' names to cut down on cupcakes

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Poor Vernon - he's not as loved as his sister... (notice how his part isn't even half?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjg

Not to mention the 60-40 split! Geez... what ARE people thinking?

(Please let me be in the top 10, PLEASE let me be in the top 10!)

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

LOVE the border, but there's nothing worse than losing your R in the crack.

Poor, poor Vernon.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe Vernon and Jenny are conjoined twins, and Vernon's definitely the uglier of the two? Then this cake is entirely appropriate.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBillDarryl

No,no. All you have to do is pick off the moldy part and spray the tray with lysol. The rest should be just fine.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNancy B

Obviously, mom must love Jenny more than she loves Vernon. Jenny got way more cupcakes! And Vernon's cupcakes look disgusting.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan


January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChar

Mom always loved Jenny more.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Yikes, and you can tell which twin mom favors, what with the actual Happy Birthday being in blue and white.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to say Vernon did get the short end of the stick er cake. The camo is clearly not in equal share to the roses part.

we needn't quite wrack our brains as to whom the favourite twin is...

LOL @ Chandler Bing voice!! :)

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkle

humm, random moldy CCC? whats with the green blog up in the right hand corner? this cake is just all kinds of wrong!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

How to make your twins hate you: Give one of them a normal name, name the other one Vernon lmao. Poor Vernon, they could have at least split those cup-cakes up 50/50!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG that is horrible!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I so feel Jenny and Vernon's pain. As a twin I have always had to share a birthday and birthday cake with my brother. I have NOT, however, been subjected to this kind of humiliation. Poor kids.

Jen, are you sure you aren't the twin in question here and finally getting your revenge on mom?

The Florida Gator loving Hices at


January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

So it's final... evil twins are made, not born.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMari

I think they made the camo part extra nasty to try to convince you the electric-blue rose section looks okay.

Let's not reject all mosaic CCCs just because of this one wreck. If we followed that policy, we'd have to reject all cakes, and that, my friends, is what they call an "unacceptable outcome."

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Jenny HAD to get more cupcakes. No frosting letters on earth would've shown up on that vomitous camo.

Angie (from over at

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Maybe Jenny has more cupcakes because she has more friends coming to the party. Poor Vernan - double whammy!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, it has potential.

Get rid of the camo,
the "border,"
and write their names more like the way that "Happy Birthday" was written...

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Okay I'll have to do have of the lower cupcakes with blue roses and half with camouflage. Okay so that's 1,2,3, Darn the girls got 16 and the boy has 14, oh well I'll just add some more camouflage one on the top part. There! Oh, now it looks unbalanced. Okay I'll put a few blue flower ones on the top left. There! Now all I have to do is Write a the Happy birthday on the remaining cup cakes. Well, I'm too lazy to make a new icing bag so I'll just use the blue one I have already. Okay now there's a few more cup cakes left over on the top. Well I'm still too lazy to make another decorating bag so I'll just add more blue flowers to those one. There! Done! I think it looks pretty good don't you? Well I do and if they don't then too bad, besides I don't really care, my boss never says anything anyways.

Word verification -Plata: Ken I getcha plata pasta?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

A fairly decent CCC ruined by that gosh-awful conglomeration on the right? YUCK!

~Amy B.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

not to mention that jenny has more blue roses than vernon has camo. yecch.

think we can get Congress and Barack Obama to pass a law banning CCCs?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Someone actually requested this? And paid for it?! This "cake" is wrong on so many levels.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan -

So... Vernon is the unwanted, unloved child because he gets the rotting cupcakes. Sucks to be Vernon.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Yup, he's gonna need some therapy. Know whut uh meen, Vern?


January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVinca Leaf Quilts

Yikes. But, you must admit, the names are nicely off centre.


January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZed-Aitch

Ew those definitely look moldy. Bleh!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

They... may not be twins... perhaps. Vernon could be... Jenny's father! That's the ticket! I'm sure he'll understand his gross third of cupcakes.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSqueaky

they weren't doing too badly (as far as CCC's go) until they got to the camo part. It was all downhill from there.

Oh good grief!! If I were doing a combined cake, it wouldn't be something so obviously divided. The goal is to avoid revealing who my favorite one is, and remain as visibly unbiased as possible.

Then again, I am not some other parents who fell out of the common sense tree and whacked the noggin on every idiot branch on the way down from it.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFeisty Irish Wench

That was just frighteningly ugly, on so many levels.

I totally Chandler Bing voiced that line!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSmoochiefrog

Who wants to place bets that Vernon is going to go all postal one day in a Walmart bakery or something?

While wearing blue roses camouflage, nonetheless.

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPersnickety Ticker

I love the three random mold-cakes in the corner. I imagine poor Vernon walked into the kitchen in the middle of the frosting endeavor and complained about the lack of, ahem, camo and so Mom frosted the last 3 and shoved them in the corner to shut him up.

Now imagine you're a guest at this party. How do you not laugh? Hysterically?

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChiclet

Today's my birthday, and my twin's birthday, so I feel an extra connection to the cake today :) THANKS MOM for never making us a cake like this!!!!

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

To add insult to injury, poor Vernon's name is going DOWN right to left, while perky Jenny's name is going UP.

(word verification: beduch - way past time to change the sheets)

January 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervoxwoman

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