My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.

This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

And finally we have what appears to be a cross between a mutant rubber ducky and Angelina Jolie:

Sorry, sorry; I know that's kind of mean. I shouldn't malign rubber duckies like that.

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

- Related Wreckage: Hello, Kitty?

TOUR REMINDER: Hey, Chicago! Come see Jen and John tonight at the Barnes & Noble in Skokie (the Old Orchard Cener) at 7:30PM. It'll be fun. Promise.

« The Dish on Denver | Main | Sarcasm! Wow, That's ORIGINAL! »

Reader Comments (76)

My mom got my girls a 2 cupcakes drowing in icing "cake" that looked like a dog. Why bother with cake at all at this point? My girls would have liked it better if it was just a mountain of icing. Neither one of them touched the cupcake.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Dang it, Jen, how am I supposed to explain to my boss the coffee spray all over my monitor this time?!?

Über-Disney Geek reminds you that John Lasseter got his Disney career start as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise!


WV: matubs. "I needed six of matubs of maicing to frost macupcakes!"

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

I actually think the cow cake is really, really cute. Slightly wrecky, but well, we've definitely seen worse on this site.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Who orders a cake with a chicken that has lips!!!

Obviously something was lost in translation....

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmymusings

The first one looks more like an otter than a cat or lion. And why would a cat be sitting next to a river of sorts?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

LOL @ Angelina Duckie! They should have included a pile of assorted baby rubber duckies trailing along behind.

Yeah, I know...I'm mean too.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa @ Another Day Today

I wonder if anyone before today has typed the words "Who's a cute widdle turd!?"

That seems like a pretty specific phrase.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Jen, I'm loving* the use of astricks in this post!!!

*far too many in one day for me count! :-)

Let us know when you're visiting the UK!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Even bakers should know that no one wants to eat downer cows.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Rubber ducky, you're the one
You make bath time lots of fun . . .

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

Hmm... the skunk looks suspiciously like a white kitty in a Batman mask.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolle

The first one is definitely a beaver. I mean it's got a wide tail and is next to water. Gotta be it.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSouthern Gal

Oh my gosh!!! I am so glad I'm at home this morning! I busted out laughing so loud at the rubber ducky/Angelina Jolie cake that I think my neighbors probably heard me!!!

High Five girlfriend!!!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTauna

Eww! I stepped in monkey/kitten/lion cute and it's stuck to the bottom of my shoes! I'll just rinse them off in the toxic water.

The cow reminds me of Bambi's first steps. Only icingier.

At least the skunk has the grace to look embarrassed - he's even blushing.

Isn't the next one one of those aliens from "The Claw" from Toy Story?

Angelina-rubber-ducky? Fabulous!

WV: ismindw - Was this your cake? You shouldn't have walked away; ismindw!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

the little stinky skunky is kinda cute.

the last one just quacks me up. who knew ducks had lips ... never mind collagen-injected ones. wonder if the doctor just put it on his bill?

waddle happen next? liposuction?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

Is it just me, or did anyone else look at the first one and see a cuddly scorpion? The way it was all brown and that tail curled up behind, as if it's about to strike? No? Okay then.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

I love the cute cow with barren desert (dessert? ha!) expanse of board.

I don't even recycle really, but the amount of plastic they put into the box holding the skunk offends me. It's two cupcakes for earth's sake and it gets fifty pounds of plastic wasted on it! Sheesh.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

The Ducky looks more like Nadya Suleman to me!


October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wait, wait, wait. There are people who don't know what the Jungle Cruise is?!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCathie

Spidercow, spidercow!
Tries to walk, but he don't know how.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSilvergoth

Melonie, I saw a scorpion in the first one, too! A very cuddly-faced scorpion, of course.

And thanks for making me spit out my coffee on my keyboard as I got to the rubby ducky with Angelina Jolie lips!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I find it a bit disturbing the way the cow is sort of... um... straddling the cake.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdnoxious

ooh, my favorite website does a snark on Angelina, this day is looking better already. :)

p.s. and LOL on "spidercow" comment too!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

Haha, I love the cow one!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Hm... fluffy and big eyes = cute even in the cake world.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPenny Hubcap

This insanely-grinning frog with candle horns just made my day! But, its tongue is missing!!!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

My three year old was sitting with me while I was reading your blog. When I got to the "Cow" cake he said.

"That cat looks like a monster."

That is all . . . .

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSeansmoma

Am I the only one who would be really happy to get the little green cake for my birthday? I was thinking he was just a cute monster.

P.S. Love the blog! I'm in Japan right now where everything is cute so wreckporting is hard. This site actually makes me miss Wal-Mart hehe.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm

OK why would anyone pay $9.99 for the rubber Angelina Jolie *charactor* cake?? What an insult!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Daphne

On my first glimpse of the rubber duck, I saw two big flaming horns coming out of the top.

I then started thinking of how you could route tubes from a propane canister through a cake to the top of it to make giant flaming "candles" for dramatic effect. Perhaps mixed with tubes routing dry-ice smoke...

But alas, there are no horns. It was simply a reflection which confused my eye.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris Colohan

Do I detect a little Sarcasm? Wow, That's Original! (hehehe)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVeggiet

BTW Did you know you are featured in The Sun newspaper today?

P.S. I know you are stickler for grammar so I hope you won't mind me pointing out that you spelt "its" wrongly!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCath

You did mean "wubber ducky," didn't you? No? More alcohol then, although I, too, lost what was left of my coffee by hooking up the duck with Angelina, frostiest cupcake this side of screendom.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteraltar ego


::pauses to wipe a tear::


October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

These are the best! "Ground" beef! ROFL

~Amy B

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Interesting. Google Reader shows me that this entry was posted by John, but I saw all the comments directed at Jen and was perplexed. I looked on the entry itself; I can't find anything ON Cakewrecks that shows who posted it.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Several years ago we were doing the canoe "ride" at Disneyland. Now I say "ride" because it isn't one, there is no track and they actually expect you to paddle around that whole dang island yourself... anyways.. at one point the Cast Member calls out to the kids in the back "Do NOT splash each other. The water is green for a reason and you do NOT want that Reason on you!"

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica W

Now we need an irony font as well as a sarcasm font.

Good post John, "I really mean that".

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I'm SO going to be with you guys in Skokie tonight! I'm more excited than I have any right to be.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

I always heard the joke that beef stroganoff was a herd of to keep this joke family friendly. Maybe it was noodles for legs after all. ;)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Ummm are you aware this blog steals your posts:

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

I'm seeing a squirrel on the first one. Hammie, anyone?

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

FLMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!! angelina jolie HAhaha omg you crack me up! LOL

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGiusi.


DANG IT!!!!!

You got me. I read over this like 15 times and didn't catch it. It was buried in the middle.

But that's what you get when I write posts.


October 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

What do you call a cow with no legs?

It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

Ed Venture, who is too lazy to register

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

uhm that poor cow is humping the plate it's on...and the lippy duckyangelina thingy is just too >a loss of words<

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStella

The green face is perhaps an alien, as in Little Green Man from Mars. The candles look like antennas to me (what's plural of antenna?) Probably someone's already said this, but I'm short on time and can't read all the comments right now. Although I wish I could.

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRollaine

About the "rubber duck", my 7YO son said, "What is it, a chicken on top of a merry-go-round?"

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlyson

the "skunk" reminds me of nibbler from futurama, which ups his cute factor by about 10 for me :)

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpsyche

on the last CW -- "character cakes"? What character is that? That little duck from the old Tom + Jerry cartoons with the ducky-sounding voice?

Can't wait to see you guys tonight!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>