My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What About Spongebob?

I have to preface this post with a little caveat: I've never watched Spongebob SquarePants. Well, unless you count those times at CiCi's Pizza, since the TVs there are hard-wired to Cartoon Network for the resident herds of screaming little leaguers. (John and I like to visit sometimes to remind ourselves why we're not having children. And for the barbecue pizza.)

(This is Spongebob, btw, for all you non-parents and/or subterranean dwellers.)

So anyway, let me apologize in advance for the lack of Spongebobian references. I like to think that most of you wouldn't get them anyway.

Spongebob is essentially a big rectangle, right? So naturally, if you want to recreate him in cake you should always go with a bunch of round cupcakes:

Like so.

It does kind of look like we're peeking into Spo's (Can I call him Spo? Anyone care? No? Good.) casket, though, doesn't it? Plus some prankster has ripped his nose off and turned his tie upside down. [tsking] So disrespectful.

Speaking of which...

I know you can still see part of Spo's eye here, but don't worry: The baker will cover that up when s/he writes a misspelled, abbreviated version of your name there.

This next one is like the Fiji Mermaid of Cupcake Cakes (patooey!*):

Only instead of half mammal, half fish, it's half Spongebob, half...pedestal? Robot? TV on wheels? I dunno - what the heck is that thing? You tell me. Best answer may or may not get posted here, so gimme your best shot, punks.

Oh, and we're just getting started with the Spongebob Wreckage, so prepare to have gads more sprung at you sometime later this week.**

*I think we should all spit every time the horrific term "cupcake cake" [patooey!] or its abbreviation "CCC" [patooey!] is mentioned. Y'all down with that? Just watch your aim: people and keyboards don't much appreciate being spat upon.

**I just used "gads" and "sprung" in the same sentence. Dude, someone get me a sweater; I am sooo cool.

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Reader Comments (144)

wait until you see the Burger King ad with squarepants for their kids meal. If I were Spongebob, I would go back to the sea and neve surface again.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

maybe they should call him sponge bob ROUND pants. *ba dum ching!*

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervery married

The last cake reminds me of a virus. They look a tad like this

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZen

Poor Spongebob.

I honestly thought I was having acid flashbacks when I saw the BK ad. For those of you without tv, stuff a shoebox down the back of your spandex and look in the mirror. Same effect.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

>>never watched Spongebob
>>SquarePants. Well, unless you
>>count those times at CiCi's

This cracked me up. We don't let our kids watch Spongebob, but every single time we go to Cici's, it is on their TV. What is up with that? Last time we went, hubby and I had to make our kids sit on the other side of the table so they couldn't see the TV.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeanest Mommy

I think that maybe it's supposed to be half Spongebob and half Homestar Runner. No arms, funny legs, that may be a star on his chest.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKati M.

Some characters are best left in cartoons, although Spongebob would look good made out of swiss cheese. Or a square cake.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The key to creating Wreck Artistry is to DRAW FROM MEMORY, NEVER USE REFERENCE MATERIAL. A work-of-art can only be a work-o-fart when it comes from the heart.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBill's Bayou

The only thing worse than a CCC is an ICC (ice cream cake). Nothing like a ton of piping gel on top of "ice cream". Also, what is that oily cookie business they put in the middle? ...shudder...

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandacorry

i think you're missing out by not watching SpongeBob (on Nickelodeon, not cartoon network). it's really quite amusing. my dad even liked it back in the day.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

The middle one would almost be good, too, if they didn't write across his face. As far as CCC's (patooey) go, the edges are pretty squared off.

Except for the spindly little arms and legs.

And the horrifically swollen feet.

...but the edges are pretty nice.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

CCC ptooey reminds me of the tobacco-chewing cupcake from Cabin Boy. Anybody else? Eh, probably not.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter-- chase

Actually, Spongebob is on Nickelodeon - not Cartoon Network...

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

SERIOUSLY... how HARD could it be to make a Spongebob cake??

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTlou

The last one looks more like a pocket full of sunshine, not Sponge Bob

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

My 9-yr old daughter's comment about the last one: "They failed to capture SpongeBob in that." :)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaryj

On that "mermaid" confection: how about half fluffy cotton cyclopic cyborg?

(Is "cyclopic" a word? Should it be "cyclopian," maybe?)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Yes, Spongebob's figure is generally rectangle, but the edges are all ripply. I am in no way justifying the existence of CCCs *patooey* however I'm just sayin' that if one must create a CCC for some evil reason, it does kind of fit in with the ripple edges of SB.

Here's a coincidence - my word verification is "doodly", which pretty much describes Spongebob! And CCCs!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

For the first one, R.I.P., Spongebob... As for all, they are just horrifying- It's beyond me how anyone would make something like that and put it on display! Poor widdle Spongebob... I HAVE to Google Patrick cakes, there has to be some wrecky Patrick cakes out there...

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

The last one must be SpongeBob in Spanx showing off his feminine side.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPDOTTreats

Quote from all 3:

My whole family loves Spongebob, and we are insulted that decorators, would pass him as...that thing. (#3)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNetFreak

Do. Not. Get. Spongebob.

And now I know why.

Angie (from over at

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Spongebob is great, with your sense of humor you really should watch a few episodes. I think you will find some of the subtle humor is the best on TV. My son and I have been fans for years now. Funny for kids and adults.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWoof

Wow, why would anyone buy the one with the words written across his face (badly)?

I think the mermaid cake is actually half Spongebob and half Squidward. When Squidward stands, his tentacles curl up kind of like the "wheels" under Spo.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

I like these cakes (or CCCs [ptooey!]) every bit as much as I love Sponge Bob himself. (I tried to watch it and make it make sense, but I can only tolerate it for maybe 3 minutes or so...)

PS I love that you brought up the Fiji Mermaid; I found out about that creature back in the days of the X Files... :)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

#3: Clearly it's Sploogebot Tanktreads

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

My four year old son saw the last (pedestal) cake and exclaimed, "It's a painted bear on three wheels!"

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGAMZu

You called him "Spo"?....

Anyhoo, yeah well DUH! Round things are the best for recreating a rectangle! Who DOESN'T know that? Seriously.

The last one may just have coincedentally been yellow with eyes... it's hard to believe someone did a job THAT BAD in recreating spongebob squarepants... right? (*instant loss of faith in humanity and the cake making industry*)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

In the words of Spongebob, "Well, that makes me pretty mad. I might have to beat someone up just to get rid of all this blind fury."

cupcake pants don't look good on ole sponge bob

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I don't like Spongebob. I try to avoid him whenever possible. I won't let my kids watch him (I'm pretty sure that laugh just melts brain cells). That all said, the last one looks like Squidword.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Oh my God, you are usually so COOL a sweater wouldn't help, so BLEEDING EDGE of geek chic that just glancing at your blog has been known to make lesser geeks eye's bleed, but dude... SPO!?!?!?

No, you can't call him Spo. SB, sure. S-Bob, ok. Little Bobby, alright, Uncle Blue, but SPO!?

You're talking about the KING of Karate Island! The only fry cook worthy of pulling Neptune's Golden Spatula from the Stone. The Sponge that taught the Flying Dutchman the Power Within. The Goofy Goober whose licks were just TOO RIGHTEOUS!

I'm afraid that no, you're not allowed to call him Spo. And ANYONE who dares to wreck a Sponge Bob cake deserves slow and painful death, being forcefed their own CCC's while watching the latest season's terrible scripts over and over. I swear, the best episodes are from seasons 1-3.

And yes, I am 35.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRufus Opus

Is the CCC[patooey!] a reference to Corner Gas? When they always spit after saying "Wullerton"? If so, that is awesome.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

We can't STAND SBSP. The children are NOT allowed to watch it and in fact, not allowed to watch Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. What happened to the good old shows like You Can't do That on Television and Double Dare? Almost all of the Nick cartoons include the most annoying of voices.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedheaded Mama

Oh no! Spongebob has "the suds" AGAIN!
Orangeboy and the kids love Spongebob. My DH loves him because he has a steady job and a great attitude!- Even if he does tend to be a bit excitable.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChina

We don't have the Cartoon Network either, all because they have SpongeBob. He's vulgar, just like these cakes.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane - DB Impressions

Having two boys I know all about Spongebob, and it looks like those wreckerators have sent him to a watery grave. *insert dolphin noise*

Just so ya know, there will be days when mothering gets to be too ridiculous to handle that I will be living my life vicariously through you, if ya don't mind!!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci Harris

AAAHHHHH! My eyes can't take the round pegs in the square hole!!!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

Just one more reason for my acute dislike of Spongebomb. (Yes, misspelling intended).
Can't stand that show! Ugh!

My daughter watches it when she thinks I'm not looking. I guess it's better than other things she might be watching. No, wait..I take that back. YUCK!

Good wreckage, though..
~Amy B.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh my...see this is bad, because I made a spongebob cake for my 3 year old's birthday. I am so NOT an artist, but he's a SQUARE! Anybody wants to see a picture, you can email me at twinkylady @ yahoo . com

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Our CiCi's has Cartoon Network on one TV and CNN on the other - guess which way we try to face? And we do have a 2 1/2-year-old who really digs their pasta & pizza & not-fully-baked brownies.

Personally, I kinda like the mac & cheese pizza - strange but good.

Oh yeah - Spongebob. I just don't get it. So glad we've gotten rid of our cable!

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

That last one looks like a light bulb to me...possibly halogen?

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDistressful Damsel

I am ashamed to say I think I know why the third one looks like a robot. Firstly, let me say I would never watch Spongebob on my own accord, but it's all my nieces watch, so I've been obliged to see way more episodes than I would have liked to.
In one of the episodes, Spongebob is transported to the future where he meets a robot version of himself. Though why anyone in their right mind would make him into a CCC [patooey] escapes me, let alone why they would scribble across his face.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

well, i must be a bad parent. i love spongebob and let my kids watch it. but i would be a more horrible parent if i let them eat a CCC. ( hocking loogie)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

Psst Jen, if you really want to be down with the kids, the word on the street is "schizzle" - meaning good in a hot and I suppose, a sizzling kind of way. natch ;-)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDearness

Spongebob is awesome! It's one of the few cartoons that I enjoy watching with my kids instead of barely tolerating. The first time I saw the show I thought it was bizarre, but now I'm a big fan.

(And no, you can't call him "Spo". Sorry. We will, however, accept "Sponge".)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie and Angela

I think that it looks like the top half of Spongebob and the bottom half of Squidward his ugly octopus friend.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

@Rufus Opus: You are cracking. Me. Up. Also, you are gonna HATE Thursday's post. Just sayin'.

Oh, and "Uncle Blue"? Well, I'll take it under advisement, but I really thought "Spo" had a nice ring to it. Hmm. What about "Spooge?" Would that work? ;)

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Do yourself a favor and watch Spongebob. I don't have kids, don't want 'em, but I love Spongebob. It's just funny and strange. And often filled with jokes that kids won't really get. So it's a perfect cartoon.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPokecheck

I'm not a crazy Spongebob fan, but the times I've watched it is pretty funny. I'm 33.

That said, I don't think it's appropriate for little kids, and while I know Grandma lets my daughter watch it, the rules in our house are that she can't watch it here until she's six. For some reason that totally works for my daughter's four-year-old logic.

These cakes are horrendous. #3 looks like it sat out in the sun and got faded.

April 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterasifyoucare

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