My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Should Even Things Out

After all the gorgeous Harry Potter cakes we've been featuring the past two Sundays, I figured we should tip the Wreckage scales back into balance.

[brushing hands off] Yep, that oughta do it!

Ok, one more:

Oh, good, they included the famous "three orange volcanoes" from the books/movies! Can't have a Harry Potter cake without those, now, can you?

What's that? There ARE no volcanoes - orange or otherwise - in the books or movies? Oh.

Well, then at least they have the big, green...smokestack? No...field! I think it's a field. That grows straight up. Er, because it's a "magical" land. Yeah.

[shifty eyes]


Well, then, how about all those randomly scattered, teensy little photo circles of Ron, Harry, & Hermione? Now those really are "magical." [nodding earnestly]

What, those don't work for you either?

[frustrated sigh] Look, bub, it says "Harry Potter" on it in big frickin' letters. What more do you want? Now shell out the $21.50 and learn to deal, Ok?

Amy B. & Monique R., have you ever wondered who would win in a Harry vs Voldemort RAP BATTLE? Then watch this and find out. (And here's hoping I'm not the only one who thinks the Dark Lord's rhymes are way sweeter.)

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Reader Comments (110)

I think those little faces are miniature pogs. Either that or they flash "Support Cedric Diggory" and "Potter Stinks".

Wow - the first one reminded me strongly of Jerry Lewis as the nutty professor, at least the writing was pretty though. I am speechless on the second one, H/P meets Three Mile Island, maybe?

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatmania

Well, the lettering on the first on is spot on, but Harry..well...I'm not wild about Harry.

WV- blatin The blatin disregard for anything Potteresque in the second cake is inexcusable.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

Okay, first this is a full sheet cake base price is $80.00 it will serve 60 to 80 people. the little pictures are actually rings from the third movie. And finally the person who paid for this cake should have complained to the store manager and gotten a refund for at least half the price of the cake. I'll assume that the decorator got the flavor right. Doire's Mon

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerrie

That first one is to DIE for. I have never laughed harder. But I do believe the look the wreckerator was trying to portray the book "Harry Potter and the Chromosomal Disorder." Obviously.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercrustee

I particularly like the mental hospital colours of pale aqua and lavender on the first cake. Coincidence? I think not!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Bahahahahahaha it looks like Harry licked a funny stamp!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

The teeth on the first one. NIGHTMARES.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Those poor unsuspecting children. That is the real tragedy here, someone is going to receive those cakes....


July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, they made Harry into an albino hunchback with a mouth-breathing problem. Hilarious!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole Loves Cake

Those volcanos look like candy corn.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

oooooooooooooooooooooohhh! you're voting for the dark lord?! shame on you!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, that first one is amazingly horrid. 0.0

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

Harry has three lips.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I like how they had to put that little plastic Harry Potter pick in the top left corner of the first one. cuz otherwise nobody would know what it was supposed to be. His teeth and general mouth region are very disturbing

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertrisha

The first one? Harry Potter and the Evil Mimes of Muggledom. Yep, that's gotta be it.


WV: maxate. I can't believe maxate the whoooooole thing!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

AhHAHA! Ugly evil cakes! So much more apt than dressing evil up in ribbons and fondant and talent.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVillageMom

The first one makes me think of the "It's Pat" character from SNL!!!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one looks more like Quasimodo than Harry Potter!! lol

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWide Awake Wife

On the second cake, I love that care was taken to write "Harry Potter" in Gryffindor's colors, but the rest of the cake has nothing to do with the books or the movies...Except the floating heads...obviously they're all partially under invisibility cloaks!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

too funny! I can just imagine the scenario that resulted in CW2 -- "they said they wanted a Harry Potter cake!"

"okay." (wreckerator picks up piping bag and proceeds to write "Harry Potter" on volcano/field cake that did not sell yesterday, and then throws some little HP pictures on for good measure.)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Wow. The first cake is pretty nice - if it had a Disney Princess or something other than "special Harry" on it.

And let's not get started on the second one...

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think perhaps the second cake is a bird's eye view of the lake and surrounding grass? And the volcanoes were just added in wrong? The first one is alright, I guess...

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercaronae

I am absolutely not defending the second cake (or the first one, for that matter) but wonder whether the 3 orange volcanoes are the tips of the quidditch canvas grandstands? Maybe? I have no explanation for the flying heads.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarahKD

I think the second one is supposed to be the Marauder's Map.

I think that blue is supposed to be the lake outside Hogwarts. It looks very much like a section from one of the maps of the Hogwarts grounds. The thing on the bottom (the three volcanos) could be either Hogwarts or Hogsmeade, depending on whether we're looking north or south. Then we have little icons of people wandering about. See? Marauder's Map.

No, I don't know why the lake has clouds. But it makes somewhat more sense....

wv: wabir. The love child of a wombat and a tapir. For visual reference, see cake#1.
Try #2: fonond. I love checking cakewrecks because I'm fonond of the fondant.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkalany

Well, at least they got the correct Gryffindor colors in the "Harry Potter" part.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

Wow, I just noticed the really cool looking border around the first one, sadly, though, it doesn't do much for the monstrosity that is the rest of it!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicki

ha ha ha... the first one looks like a harry potter window cling! you know the ones ppl put in the back window of thier car that make it look like the took off to fast and the cat splattered on it. ha ha ha ha ha.....

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh no... he's so... hideous :|

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

The first "Harry" looks like he has bad breath.

Wait. Isn't that top cake actually a portrait of Harry's long-lost nerdy brother Melvin?

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

No words available for #1. #2 looks like they took a Dora the Explorer map cake and made it into a Harry Potter one. multitasker that's what it is!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassiB

Kerrie-What rings?

Secondly, I'm pretty sure the second cake has reference to "The Pyramids of Format," "The Fortress of Shadows," and the magnificent "Pillar of Storge."

"Fluffy Cow said...

Harry has three lips."

I saw it and now I can't un-see it! D:

(I feel like that a lot around here)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEva that Harry Potter or Super Mario 3?

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterApril

The saddest part of the first cake is that it has THE prettiest icing writing I have ever seen, but you're too distracted looking at the result of Harry getting hit in the face with a bludger to really notice.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeDiouS

I'm not a huge Potter fan, and even I know these are unrecognizable. Yuck. Must agree with everyone on the pretty writing though.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Come on, don't you remember, Harry, Ron and Hermonie, meet up with Frodo and Sam on the way to Mt Doom to throw the ring in the fires, and all defeat Voldemort together,...I'm sure that's what that decorator thought....right??

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEast of Eden

Ok The first would of been a pretty good cake if it weren't for the disasterous harry portrait. No explanation for the second one. It looks like they knew NOBODY would guess it was HP cake so they just threw on the little pictures. Again I gotta say it tho since ur showing so many HP cakes I think u need some stuff for the twilight fans! Like me.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwihard

No, aren't the only one who thinks Voldemort's rhymes were way better!!!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Oh Wow. Nightmares for sure after seeing that first one. Even when I close my eyes it won't go away. Never thought I'd say this but I am kinda wishing for the Dead Man Cake to come back ...

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

Second cake - sky with clouds or lake with foam?

Those are awful. LOL

~Amy B.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Maybe the orange volcanoes are the actually the spires of Hogwarts?

*grasping at straws here*

LOVIN' the nose, lips, and teeth on the Harry cake.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Is it me or are they trying to make Harry into a Dementor in the 1st cake?

Suddenly all the happiness was sucked from me looking at that thing. *shudder*

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*Akilah Sakai*

The Dark Lord does, in fact, rock the rap!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDippy's Mom

I can't stop laughing about that first one. ANd the comments. THANKS all of you who commented on Hp's mouth debacle.

THis made my morning. I thought somebody had punched him in the face, he kind of has cauliflower lips or something going on. Lily

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow... there are seriously no words for that. As we say here in the South, Harry got hit with the ugly stick. I haven't seen the new movie yet, does he get diagnosed with some sort of glandular problem? And I love the little extra special black eyeliner under is left eye... yikes!

wv: essadles. Hope that wreckerator gets back in essadles again!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerri Rogers

Why do they have a pic of DNAmy from Kim Possible on a Harry Potter cake? :)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris (Mombie)

And a bat settled upon his head! I meant to say that, the first HP has a bat tenaciously clinging to his head. Lily

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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