My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I'm This Many

Let's see if you can guess how old these cake celebrants are:

(Ah, phone orders, how I love thee...)

This next one's a bit harder because of the lousy penmanship, but give it a minute: it'll come to you.

Did you get it? Huh? Didja?

Seriously, how fabulous is this? The baker took a simple two-word inscription ("You're 31!"), turned it into a three-word inscription, and then misspelled every word. ("Your thirtee won")

And then there's that comma. Just look at it, sitting there all nonchalantly, mocking my every attempt to comprehend its existence. Grr. I tell ya, if there's one thing I hate, it's smug punctuation marks. Yeah. It's all, "Hey, you should pause for breath here, even though the sentence has technically already ended." Aaaugghh!!

I can't take it anymore!
The comma must be stopped!!

[patting down hair]


So, where were we?

Oh, right. Well, I have no idea how old Alicia here is...

...but at least there are no stinkin' commas.

Jennifer S., Cari B., & Alicia W., I've noticed that more people are suggesting I take a day off lately. I have no idea why.

- Related Wreckage: Tassel Hassles

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Reader Comments (104)

Took me a minute to get the first one.
The second one is... well, I think you pretty much covered it.
And the third, well, someone needs to learn how to spell. It wasn't bad aside from that.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The second one is not a misspelling. "Thirtee" is just the name of their racing horse. And the rest of the inscription is obviously on the other side of the cake. It says "and now you're rich!"

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor (My Older Brothers)

You know, she's a tweenager.

Angie (from over at

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Added to the list of things every bakery manager should ask their new hirees to spell (in addition to "Congratulations" and "birthday") are numbers. Who knew they would prove to be so hard? Oh wait, Cake Wrecks readers...

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Sorry, I have to stop reading this blog. The stupidity factor out there is starting to depress me.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

bwahahahaha, what a great start to my day!

The third was such a cute cake too, to bad they made it all confusing, I can't eat it until I figure out just what that is supposed to mean.
Is she twenty? Because the cake looks a little jouvinile.
Is she a tween? That would make more sense, but I didn't know they celebrated with cake for that.
And if it has anything to do with a tweet, or twitter, or anything of that nature, I am throwing my computer out the window.
I'll do it!


September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that last cake was attempting to say "twentieth", but I'm not entirely sure. :/

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe she's a tween of indeterminate age.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

My guess is Alicia is ten or twelve. You know, a "tweener". Or something,

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras

Halfway 230 . . . that's pretty amazing! Considering I want to live to 104, even halfway 230 is beating that!

I don't think Alicia *wants* anyone to know how old she is. Kind of like Aunt Mary in Anne of Ingleside (part of the Anne of Green Gables series) by LM Montgomery. Remember her 55 yellow roses, 55 candles on the cake and her subsequent departure? (Much to the family's relief!) Alicia is taking no chances!

I'm an English teacher . . . don't get me started on those misplaced commas!!!!!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

I think Alicia is 20. That is a horrible misspelling of twentieth.

Which is a good argument for not trying to spell out the numbers. Just use the number and the handy "th". 20th. See? Easy.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda in Austin

(And Jen, it's okay to take some time off before your book tour. You well deserve it!)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVickie

Who wants to congratulate a 15-year-old on being halfway to 30, anyway? (Well, I'm pretty sure it's not a 115-year-old.)

Ironically, the last cake could have used a comma before "Alicia."

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

tweeteenth = 22nd?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have no idea how old Alicia is either...I would guess 20, except for the banana-yellow pumpkin carriage.

...why is it yellow again, anyway?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Some of these cakes just make me feel so much better about my amateur skills and these certainly do! :)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I'm guessing Alicia is 20.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Since I am older than thirtee won and therefore well past tweeteen, my only hope left is to get one of these cakewrecks on my 115th birthday.

WV: dilie - No dilie-dallying here! Obviously haste made (cakewreck) waste.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oh, but I suspect the comma's riding in style inside the pumpkin carriage. Just because we can't see the comma, it doesn't mean it's not there, mocking us silently from within. Once lowly and functional, if pure and grammatical, then transported through wishful grammar magic into a life where it now travels anywhere it wants to go, doing none of the actual work for which it was originally intended.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe the second cake is the beginning of an old english poem about the winning of 'thirtee' dollars, and we just can't see the second part.

Mm-hm. I'm sticking with that.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

My guess is Alicia is finally old enough to be obnoxious with Twitter.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

It looks like the inscription reads, your thirties won. I have no idea what that would mean, but at least the words wouldn't be misspelled.


September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second cake isn't so bad - well, except for the penmanship. It just says "your thirties won" - no misspellings if you read it that way. And the comma would even be okay if there was a name on the cake. "Your thirties won, Jen." They beat you. :)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

Jen.... you rock!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Is your tweeteenth birthday the one where you're finally old enough to have a Twitter account? If so, congratulations, @Alicia!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjules

I thought the You're thirty one one said "Youn thinkr won" which I chose to interpret as "You think wrong". But what you said makes a lot more sense than an Engrish^2 birthday cake insulting it's chosen recipient.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

"Tweeteenth" aside, I love that simple Cinderella's carriage. I might copy that one for DD's birthday. It's definitely do-able for an amateur like me. As a bonus, I can spell!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

"Half way 230" looks like the work of someone who's entirely too familiar with 420.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMartin

You know what are worse than misplaced commas? Misplased apostrophes. And it isn't just cakes. There is this instrument store near me...IN NEON they assert that they sell piano's and keyboard's. IN NEON.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

I think they took the comma that belonged on the third cake and splatted it on the second cake.
I'm pretty sure my sister, brother, and I all had tweeteeners the same year. We were about to adopt them out to other families and only accept them back when they were civilized a la the old feudal system.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

What's a tweeteenth??

We sometimes use these cakes to teach grammar, spelling and punctuation to junior high students

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Unfortunately for Alicia, you turn into a pumpkin at midnight on your "Tweeteenth" birthday. That's why most people avoid having this particular birthday." rel="nofollow">
Taking aim at lousy advertising

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdnoxious

I thought for a moment that maybe the yellow pumpkin was actually an onion coach a la Shrek, but no, that greenery is definitely vine-ish! Maybe it's halfway between morphing from orange to gold?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, these are classic wrecks. Hilarious! And your commentary is always spot on, Jen. Can't wait to see you in Austin! (Then you can take a break!)


September 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Commas, I believe, are underutilized, as are, I believe, dictionaries,

WV: larde Larde, these are some wrecky cakes!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I think Alicia is Sweet 16, but that it was a phone order.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ Anon 10:05 -

Best comment ever! You're my new hero!

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Technically, the third one should have a comma, despite your hatred towards them. Since the cake is addressing Alicia, there should be one between birthday and Alicia.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelleyK

I bet the first one is supposed to mean that they are turning 25. It is sometimes said that the person is half-way to 30 there meaning that they are half-way between 20 and 30. The message still got lost in translation but it makes more sense than for a 15-yr-old's birthday. If only people could learn to spell.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe Alicia has been Tweeting for 10 months???

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeray

i like the pumpkin one.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucille Ball Jr.

I thought that the middle cake read "Your thirteen now," which somehow doesn't seem quite as bad as "thirtee won".

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKesal

Oh! I thought the middle one was supposed to be "You're thirteen now", and the decorator had dyslexia! I see now, there's no "n", either. Wow. thirtee won.

And the first one... 115? ;)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDharmamama

What is that the third one? An heirloom tomato on wheels?

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Eloise

I like how Alicia is represented by a Pumpkin Carriage.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah Parker

hmm interesting.
i think the last one might be trying to say "twenteen"
Here, all my friends said you're not twenty your 'twenteen', so still a teenager.
i think its to ease you into the twenties...and adult hood.
so maybe that was what it was supposed to say but got misspelled!
as ever, who knows.

katie (what-katie-does.blogspot)

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Elizabeth

And is the third cake a picture of a yellow onion? It's definitely not a pumpkin!! And Shrek had a white onion. So I just don't know.

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

Staggering how ppl make such glaring mistakes.

~Amy B

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Hey, the world's oldest lady died last week, at the age of 115- halfway to 230. Maybe there is something to that cake....

September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Jen, love the blog, love the posts. And I have to do this.. ok maybe not, but I'm caving in to temptation anyway:

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September 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMay

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