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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

I Eat Terror For Breakfast

Assuming "terror" is another word for cake, of course.

Which, at least with these cakes, I'm pretty sure it is.

Sure, this may look like a fuzzy potato wearing a Skeletor mask and a literal banana hammock, but I think it's supposed to be a monkey. (Yes, a monkey.) Which kinda makes Shara's Curious George Wreck look positively cuddly by comparison, huh?

Still, it could've been worse. That banana hammock could have been made with these:

Peeling Lucky, punk?

Well, I wouldn't advise it; Lucky here has one nasty split personality.
(She gets it from hanging out with a bunch of sour grapes.)

Hey bakers, do you have too many customers? Is the constant stream of business interfering with your "me time"? Tired of making all those cakes? No problem!! Now you can scare those paying customers off with THE FACE OF PURE EVIL™!


Alice, Baily A., & Liz B., these Wrecks aren't boaring you, are they?

- Related Wreckage: I Call Fowl

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Reader Comments (132)

Cake #1 - Are they preserving the rotted corpse of Mr. Peanut?
Cake #2 looks like a banana version of Ursula from The Little Mermaid.
Cake #3 - Put a wig on it and it’s that scene from Saw.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.....-I'm scared now. And imagine the amount of dye on that last...thing....Ehough to make you hurl if you haven't already.
Word veri.-fruneev. Guys, these cakes aren't fruneev....

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPink Toads

Is that last one a pig head or horse head? We either have Lord of the Flies or The Godfather movie #1. Either way, EEK!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

The banana reminds me of a mix of Mr T and the Chiquita banana cartoon lady.

The boar's head is TERRIFYING!!!!!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Now this is the stuff of recurring nightmares!!

The boar's head looks like the eyes follow you when you look at it carefully.


January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDebbraSue

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh (runs away screaming in utter terror at the pig head cake)

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Momma

Who would order a pig head cake?? yikes! I mean, what are they celebrating?

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

The last cake must be part of a series called, "Great Works of Literature in Cake." Perhaps "Lord of the Flies" wasn't the best choice for inclusion.

WV: linsup--Wreckerators don't always ensure that the writing on the cake linsup.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB65

Does anyone else see a dead California Raisin on the first cake?

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's with the green butterfly wings and poo branches on Mr. Well-endowed Potato? The feminine banana I just don't get. (Cross-dresser's birthday cake?)

The last one looks like it came from the meat department. Until I saw the pretty fondant cake to the left. ew. Why would you want to order a pig face? or maybe this is a really small store and there's a little cross-contamination going on in that case....

wv antshe: these cakes are making me so nervous I'm getting antshe.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

the boar head cake makes me think of the melting boar in princess mononoke.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What occasion would possibly include a boars head on a radish laden platter? It makes my tummy gurgle at the mere thought.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterduffylou

WOW! How clever of the baker to realise that there is a market for dominatrix banana cakes!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one kinda looks like a" rel="nofollow">Hollow.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrystalline

Despite it being terrifying, if the last cake could speak I just think it would be enormously camp...

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterpostJazz

OMG I have been searching high and low for the perfect cake for my "Lord of the Flies" themed party for my 3 year old! You've found it! Bravo!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelis

"And now let's all sing together a traditional english Christmas carol Ahem...

The Boar's head in hand bear I bidect with bays and rosemary!..."

True Story

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT first thought on that banana cake....Michael Jackson....

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

@duffylou: Like you, I'm baffled by the radishes. WHY RADISHES? Why?!?

Here's a tip to future decorators: cake and radishes -- they don't mix.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I actually kind of like the last cake. Maybe you would serve it at a RenFaire or other medieval-themed dinner? My first thought was the "Boar's Head Carol":
"The boar's head in hand bear I,
"Bedecked with sage and rosemary..."

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllen's Brain

OOoh, pig's head cake. What a good way to curb the appetite. Unless you have a suckling pig present, you won't have to cater much at THAT party.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwackplayer

Haha it may be disturbing, but the pig head is actually pretty well done!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVia

The last cake is creepy... imagine you see a yummy roasted pig, take a slice of if and it tastes like... wait a minute...CAKE?? What's next, meat pie with sprinkles and buttercream on the outside? :D :D

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRock 'n' Nails!

When I was in a Renaissance music ensemble, we were hired every year to play at a Boar's Head feast. Every year, they brought out the boar's head on a platter and sang a song about the boar's head. Judging by the looks of it, they used the same boar's head every year.

Perhaps I should recommend Baker #3 to them since the ol' boar's head was getting a bit shabby after years of use. At least they could eat it after the feast...

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me, or is the most terrifying part of that first cake the... erm... "tree trunks"? AUGH!

As to that other two? OHDEARLORD MY EYYYYYES!!!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I did not see bananas on the creepy potato-monkey cake.

I saw a yellow foot.


January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

The boar's head cake (#3) is remarkably well-executed, if you can get past the cognitive dissonance of "boar's head" and "cake" describing the same item.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMartin

Heh. On the "monkey" cake, I thought the yellow things were feet, not banana bunches, until I read your commentary! (Take a look at the middle one and especially the one in the upper left - looks like it has some gnarly toes and a really big toe nail!) Makes it seem quite surreal. :-)

I'd love to know what the baker was thinking when he/she decided to make a boar's head cake!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

two things come to mind:

1. those are definitely poo tree trunks on wreck #1

2. bananas ought never to wear lipsick and mascara. it's just not done.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerry Lee

I think I understand what's going on with that last one. It's for a "Lord of the Flies" themed birthday party. The kid who loses at pin the tail on the donkey gets crushed by a giant rock.


January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A turd in a skeletor mask, a banana with the face of a western movie 'gal' and some strange head. It looks like the red villain (name lost) form the Powerpuff Girls. It might be the cakes form hell, but at least we can make fun of them.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentershikishinobi

At least the banana cake is pretty carefully done. It took me a while to realize that the tomb-like monkey had his little arms in front of him to hold a bunch of bananas. I thought he was wearing a yellow foot for a necklace.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

What exactly do you do to icing to make it look like roasted animal skin? Nevermind. Don't wanna know.
And, and...radishes? Hm. Radishes.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn H

The third cake reminds me of the pig heads I used to see around the holidays, when we'd get a full roasted pig, complete with a head. The only thing missing is the apple in its mouth. kind of made me feel nostalgic. I have to admit, it *does* look pretty realistic.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterem

Granted, a boar's head cake is kind of creepy out of context, but if there was a good context for it, I wouldn't consider it a wreck. Like maybe some pub called Boar's Head ordered it. Then it'd be kind of cool.

I've made some pretty gory cakes that were highly appreciated in their proper contexts (usually RPG sessions).

Now, if it was something where the decorator went with their own random gory design and the situation didn't call for it, then it'd be a wreck.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

A cake boar's head would certainly be preferable to the real thing. Every year, at a college where I worked, there was a medeival dinner complete with a frozen boar's head. They got a new one every year, which meant that the old one ended up in all kinds of places - including, one year, FACE UP ON THE TOILET SEAT IN MY APARTMENT. I don't think I've ever screamed that loud. It weighed over 30 lbs and was gigantic. I wish it had been cake, instead of thawing nasty pork.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBekah

I'm just guessing here, but that pigs head might actually be really good! In World of Warcraft (10 million players, online game) there is a giant feast that looks a lot like that! It made me think of it right away so, if that's what they were going for, they did a great job!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermarcyw

Oh migration, that last one is really super creepy.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's always what I pictured the boar's head in "Lord of the Flies" to look like.

Poor little Simon...

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

hahhahah taylor I thought the same thing!!!! The last one absolutely terrifies me though...

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHae

Bad puns! Bad! Bad! I'm going to giggle and my coworkers will notice what I'm doing!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Skeletor is so right on!!!1

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarabelle marie

cake #3 Wow! Lord of the Flies cake! I wonder what flavor? Liked the book, the cake, well, I'm not sure, it might be growing on me. The supermarket in the town I grew up in had massive pig's heads for sale every harvest suspended in the freezer section, it could be pretty startling, walk around the corner & bang! Rows of huge pigs heads hung & "looking" back at you. Like the poster above, I could see it at a RenFaire, or for your kids birthday if you find them really, really disturbing. As long as it doesn't taste like head cheese, bleh!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCan't See Sheep

After that pig head, the first one aint so bad

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersam

You know that monkey is holding the bunch of bananas like how a bride holds her flowers..

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary T

The last one reminds me of the mask from the SAW movies. lol

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Wow great pig cake there. Perfect for those "Lord of the Flies" themed birthdays all the 10 year old boys are haing these days.

I once fashioned a pig's head out of milk duds and put it on a skewer and brought it to English class. Yeah, that earned me a trip to the Guidance Counselor...

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Kneel before the might of Sutekh!"

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to say, though, if I were a literature teacher who worked for a school that allowed for twisted humor (instead of the usual "Oh God, oh God this kid drew stick figures kicking each other call the therapists!!!"), that hog head cake would be perfect for our end-of-the-semester Lord of the Flies theme party.

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

That banana…

…made me think of this:

My apologies to those of you about to lose your sanity.


WV: sumsetr. That was sumsetr bananas on that scary monkey!

January 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

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