My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Watch Your Step

George: "Clarence..." [clutching stomach] "I still don't feel so good."

Clarence: "Well I told you to be careful. I mean, what were you thinking?"

George: [groaning] "I don't know! It was just all so good! "

Clarence: "You should have stopped after that bowl of nuts. Or the box of raisins. And I wasn't going to say anything, but that third martini wasn't the smartest thing, either. "

George: [whimper]

Clarence: "And then you just had to go for that bowl of maraschino cherries, didn't you?"

George: "Sorry."

Clarence: "Yes, well, that's all fine and good, but who's going to clean this up?

"'Cuz I don't need the wings that bad."

Thanks, Anyaa D. You enjoy that fruitcake, now.


CCC Day #6

Operation Smile provides free surgeries to repair cleft lip, cleft palate and other facial deformities for children around the globe. Just $240 can pay for a surgery - so what do you say we try to pay for at least 20, guys?

Click here to donate your dollar.

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Reader Comments (56)

there are no words... except maybe a dry heave after seeing that

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

I'm the first comment! That's amazing! I live in Japan. Finally the time difference benefits me.

Also, that cake makes me wish I hadn't drank so much tonight.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEm

THAT one got a LOL from our teenager. Could've done without the visual, though... Just saying.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteroneguy the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. In other news, Operation Smile is a great charity. :) My school raised $1800 for surgeries back in October.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterM.G

Should not have looked at that while eating breakfast. Bleh...appetite gone

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy's Cooking Adventures

I should not have been drinking hot chocolate while reading this post...I should know better and avoid any types of food while reading Cake Wrecks!

Seriously though, that is the grossest picture EVER!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCortney

Bahaha!! There's a theory that there is just one fruitcake in the world that keeps gettting resold/regifted because no one wants it. Maybe someone should alert this store that you only resell it if it's never been eaten before...barfing it back up does not count.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterana lisette

I never really liked fruit cake before. Now...
Well, I definitely don't see it in my future...

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBigD

Today is my 20th birthday! I love fruitcake, but I am going to pass on having this as my birthday cake :/

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Geez, and I was just about to head to the kitchen for breakfast.

Thanks for the help with my diet.

On a weird note - I thought fruitcake was rectangular or round with a hole in the middle? This one being neither gives greater credence to the 'morning after' theory.



wv - grain - first time I ever had one that was a real word -- I think I see some of that in this CW!! Grain alcohol is never good for the system.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermladybright

What a set up!

Congealed emesis. Blech!

(And by the way. Whew! I'm so glad you weren't exiting! ;-D )

Operation Smile is so fitting for you, as you already give us so many smiles! Thanks!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Are those maggots on that cake?

I've never been a fan of fruitcake, and I certainly won't be starting now!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

While laughing.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIce Queen

...and they had the nerve to put a Merry Christmas sticker on the packaging. Bleck!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

As a pregnant woman still in my first trimester, I really do feel like Im going to hurl after seeing that. Really. Oh boy.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersmilingalways

I've never understood how homemade fruitcake can be so delicious and storebough such an atrocity.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Awwwww you just ruined fruitcake for me.

mladybright...I don't think there are any "rules" on fruitcake shape...but I guess having a hole in the middle makes it cook through more quickly.


December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ummm...... Yuk!!!
Plus from a distance or being viewed on a phone that label didnt look like a Christmas swag, it looks more like a die-cut pumpkin.

And those nasty green fruits look more like olives and not cherries..

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I really like fruitcake, but that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Wish you would give us the name of the "Bakery of Shame" that created it.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

What would possess someone to do that to an innocent cake? Such atrocities should be stopped!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstuckinmypedals

What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks kind of cake is that? I'm actually a fan of the traditional fruitcake, but that doesn't look anything like one. It reminds me of something my cat coughed up on the carpet.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTamara Marnell

It's how I've always felt about fruitcake..but had never put into words..the orignal, and worst Wreck of all..The Christmas Doorstop...

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermizdarlin

As someone fighting a hangover: I wish I hadn't seen that.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have morning sickness really bad and this picture just did not help me out at all. I loved the story before hand though.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLeAnne

Now *I* don't feel so good! That one takes the cake.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEagle Archambeault

Poor George and Clarence.
Instead of wings, Clarence will get a mop to clean up the vomit-

and George will be working for Potter Bakeries Inc., World wide Corp., Ltd.- for pennies for the rest of his life.
Kind of like what happened in this country.

Love the idea of naming the "Bakery of Shame".
Maybe we could call them all Potter Bakeries.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's just sick.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

HAHAHA ewwwwww!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

That's just wrong, man that fruit cake is disgusting.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

That looks like a fecal Specimen I got in my laboratory O_o ewww is an understatement

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have seen 30 Christmases, but this will be the first year tasting fruit cake. I have heard so many mixed opinions of fruit cake.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuccess

Despite this being maybe the grossest post I've seen, I LOVE the charity for today, and even pimped you on my blog, which 3 or 4 people might read when they get round to it. Thank you for the CCC, I think it's wonderful.

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLouise

And here we have the major difference between US and Australian supermarkets - ours don't even TRY to hide the cake atrocities with icing.
(For the record the "Merry Christmas" sticker gives it away - this is a generic Woolworths bakery item - be glad they left off the plastic flotsam this time!)

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Whoever invented the green maraschino cherry has a lot to answer for!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCake Cop


That's all I have to say, I am so dumbfounded!

wv: nefitist: as in , not even a blind nefitist would buy that hideous thing!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWendyMom

Mrs. Cropley lives!

For those who have yet to partake of the Britcom known as 'The Vicar of Dibley', do yourselves a favor and seek it out.

There is no hole in the middle in which to place additional items of questionable taste (in both senses of the word), but that can probably be fixed with the right power tools.

As it comes from the store, this cake isn't going to match the decor of any place except a bathroom on new year's eve. To fix that, just put a drop cloth on the counter, grab a 1-gallon can of frosting and go to work with your spackle knife. It will take a while to apply all that frosting, but at least you don't have to bake anything. Your friends will thank you (the ones who don't receive it, that is).

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

OMG! My husband is a health inspector and when he saw the picture he said "it's a bowl of puke?" NOPE! My late father in law loved fruit cake..good fruit cake, cheap fruit cake but I don't think even HE could have gagged this one down! You made me laugh! Thanks so much!I see some brave soul ratted out that this came from Woolworths in Australia. Now we know why Woolworths is out of business in the US!

December 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

On what planet is that THING appetizing????? UGH!

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

The fact that it's shiny makes it just that much worse!! I agree with Anonymous at 4:19... it looks more fecal than vomital (is that a word?)

WV: Expugea. That pretty much sums up my feelings about this cake!

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Foul, so foul. And true. I'll never eat a nut or a cherry again. LOL - better than the "thanksgiving" turky cakes though. Well, maybe.

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNegative Nelly

I just threw up in my mouth....YUCK!!! but thanks for the post! :)


December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I would be thrilled to get that fruitcake- tons of nuts in it! I think it's the photo through the plastic that makes it look bad. Really, a fruitcake is not much different than the European Christmas pudding, except that the fruitcake has too much artificial color, needs a slightly lighter batter, and, of course, lots of rum!

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternazani

Yep, that's a generic technicolour yawn cake, whoops I mean fruitcake from a Woolworths supermarket - one of the "big two" chain supermarkets down here in Australia. I think their logo is meant to be a "W" shaped like an apple - maybe... but then again, who knows?????

Wanna know what their advertising slogan is - it's "Woolworths The Fresh Food People". Go figure.

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG; even for fruitcake, that's disgusting.

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Luxuries

I just found this way too funny! Seeing as you went with George and Clarence, I was picturing both characters from Its a Wonderful Life actually sharing this exchange!! Too funny!! Also extremely gross as well as apt!! Kudos!

December 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That poor, poor fruitcake. :(

December 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

hooray! i saw this one at my local woolworths this morning too. I was looking for a fruitcake. i went home empty handed.

December 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeegs

As a past Woolworths employee of 11 years, I have spent the past two years searching for a wreck within my store, but never found anything ugly enough to submit. I'm glad someone has finally discovered one!

December 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

uhhh I just saw corn...tell me that wasn't corn in there...please...I hate fruit cake..and now I really really really really hate fruit cake. Gack!

December 20, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~flying gurl~

My word verification pretty much sums up what I think of that cake: derria.

December 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

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