Happy Hanu...Channa...Festival of Lights!
It's Chanukkah, everybody! I can't believe you didn't remember! I mean, I've known for... uh, weeks and... weeks. [poker face] And, naturally, since I knew this day was coming well in advance, I've been saving all the best Hanukah wrecks for this very moment.
Now, Jen's the one with the Jewish roots, but I believe this is called a "men-OR-ah."What's that, Jen? It's not a Hannnukah cake? But...but... it's blue and white!
Fine.
Everyone knows that Hanuchah is the Festival of Lights. So, um, here's a candle:
As you can see, it's very Jewish.
And here we have the great patriarch Moses, crying over the fact that the oil has run out for the holy Jewish lamps:
(For some reason Jen isn't looking very happy right now. Hm. Well, better just keep going.)
Channikah lasts 8 nights, of course, and each night the Ghost of Chawnucahs Past visits all the good little Jewish children...
(Ow! Stop that, Jen, I'm on a roll!) ...bearing holy Jewish Dream Catchers:
And finally, while Jen is busy nursing that headache, let's end with a traditional Hawnuka cake from the great Jewess herself, Sandra Lee:
Yes, I believe those are plastic pearl beads.
Um, Jen's just gone apoplectic, but through the screeching I think I heard something about showing you the video of Sandra making this culinary delight, so you can judge for yourself. So, here 'tis:
[Update: That was sarcasm; marshmallows aren't kosher. Unless they are. In which case, they would be kosher. Those, however, aren't kosher. Glad we cleared that up.]
And now you do, too.
It means no wo-rrieees... for the rest of your daaaaaays...
