My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Bakings of a Memorable Memorial Day

Today we honor the memory of our nation's heroes.

It's a day of gratitude.

Of dignity.

And, you know, stuff like this:

"Hon hon hon! I em zee embodiment of 'deegnitee!' Wee wee!"*

And speaking of wee wee...

I'm not really sure what this is, but the shape kind of rings a bell.
(I'm thinking...Arby's?)

And speaking of belles, the bodice on this dress could really use some work:

It's LIFT and separate, girls. No Yankee doodle dandy wants saggy clappers, if yaknowwuddamean.

Remember: patriotism is a family affair:

If not necessarily "family friendly."

And for a little "variety," there's always the WTF CCC:

That's "Way To Flotsamize," by the way.

Since today is about our military, though, try to keep the focus on those great men and women who have served in our armed forces.

See how the focal point here is the cookie soldier being run down and fired on by the chocolate tank?

That's NOT what I had in mind.

And finally, you know that feeling of satisfaction you get when a hoity-toity grammar snob corrects your grammar, but s/he's WRONG?

This feels kind of like that.

Quick grammar tip: if you can substitute the word "him," use "whom." But if "he" works, use "who." Ergo, "HE paid," not "HIM paid."

Thanks to Margaret D., Amy W., Andrea P., Holly Anne, Andrea P., Lyndi R., & Becky D., for whom [eyebrow waggle] I will be forever grateful. Or at least until tomorrow.

*John's Disclaimer: This was Jen's attempt at a French accent. See, 'cause the dog is a poodle, and poodles speak French. Although he also looks a bit English with the mustache and goatee. Or maybe a bit like Colonel Sanders. Oh! Who was a Colonel!** In the military!

So, in conclusion, eating KFC today is patriotic, and all poodles speak French. Thank you. That is all.

** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: Actually, he was only a private but was given the honorary title of Kentucky Colonel later in life. Man! You guys*** are picky!

*** John's Disclaimer to the Disclaimer to the Disclaimer: By "guys" I mean people, and not necessarily one gender over another. I could have just as easily used "folks." though that would imply that you live in the country. Which you may not. Okay, I'm done.

« Evolution of a Wreck | Main | Sunday Sweets: Shoes & Purses »

Reader Comments (98)

The first one's a poodle? I thought it was the clown from "IT" and wondered what clowns had to do with Memorial Day (except the bad red/white/blue makeup).

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M.

Thanks for the disclaimer, because otherwise I wouldn't have known the first one was a poodle. I thought it was a reference to some bizarre military clown.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

There's something unsettling about those gingerbread soldiers...I can just picture some unpatriotic mean soirited jerks buying that cake just to go "Support the troops? Oh I will! In my BELLY!! nom nom nom nom nom nom nom"

...or maybe that's just me. :D anyway, Happy Memorial Day!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterana lisette

As wonderful as Jen's selections were today (I'll be seeing the clown poodle in my dreams for weeks), John's disclaimers made my day. You're both made of a special brand of awesomeness.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Actually, Colonel Sander's title had nothing to do with the military. We Kentuckians have a club that gives people title "Kentucky Colonel". My mom was nominated for the title and got her Kentucky Colonel commission.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Um, actually Colonel Sanders was just a Kentucky Colonel, an honorary title easily enough obtained if you or somebody you know knows somebody in the state government. He was a bit of a self important gent who liked the sound of the title. To my knowledge he didn't exactly set the record straight if the honorifics were confused.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToska

The 'dress' one is supposed to be the Liberty Bell I think lol

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBreanna F

That's a poodle? Really? I read John's comments and thought, "Oh, that's what that is, I should go back and look so I can see it." But alas, I arrived back and the picture and could only wonder how it was a poodle (do poodles routinely look like clowns with exploded cigars?). *sigh*

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCeci

Dudes I'm french and had no idea poodles spoke french ;)
The attempt was quite good by the way :D I could totally recognize our "nice" accent!

And I agree with Donna M. I tots thought it was a clown :D

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiho

Okay, so the post itself was funny but then as a bonus we got John's disclaimers and that made it even better!

*braying like a donkey* *wink wink!*

I'm in awe of you both.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebekah

After much debate and internet searching...we suggest that entry no. 1 is Uncle Sam...or a pomeranian.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The "poodle" is actually Uncle Sam. Not saying it is a good Uncle Sam. Not even saying it is Uncle Sam dressed up to look like Bozo the Clown. But if you close one eye, and squint with the other, after drinking several adult beverages, yeah, it's definitely Uncle Sam.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Oohhh this is funny!!!! I'm really really wondering what you put in your morning coffee, cause I'll surely take some :)
LOVE the "tribute" today :)

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFignie

To me that third one looks like a depiction of the female reproduction system with a skirt hanging off of it. Talk about x-ray vision.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

How is that Uncle Sam??? It has four legs! And a weird red windmill mustache thing.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

OMG! You just explained the difference between who and whom in one sentence. WHY couldn't the teachers do the same thing????

Who (NOT whom) knew I could learn proper grammar on a foodie blog!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Thanks so much for the grammar tip! I have always struggled with the whole whom and who thing!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHope brain hurts trying to make any sense at all of these, especially figuring out what fallopian tubes have to do with Memorial day (& that first cake really is the stuff of nightmares)...

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I still think that first one looks more like a weird clown than a dog.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

That is one fine fake French accent.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermyimaginaryblog

You would not believe how long I stared at that Liberty Bell cake before realizing it was not actually a shirt and really bad pants.
Also, thanks for that grammar tip. I'm a total grammar Nazi but who and whom was the one thing I could never grasp.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSami

That "Arby's" CCC looks more like Spaceship Earth, and the "Dress" looks like Epcot.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I've stared at a couple of these and still don't know what they are... I thought the first was supposed to be Uncle Sam.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

that top one reminds me of Merlon from Super Paper Mario:

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterisabel

As a former English teacher, believe me, we DID say it that way. But you all were probably too busy writing notes to each other (or texting under the desk, depending on your generation) to listen.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

. . .ergo . . .hehehhehehhhee!

wv: imesses - unintentional utter destruction. Used in a sentence by one of the wreckerators responsible for a 'cake' above, "imesses up hims cake!"

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterML

Am I the only one seeing a uterus wearing bellbottoms in #3? Very creepy...

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCorri Anne

No way that first thing is a poodle. Nope. I'm going with the bizarre military clown theory.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermimi

If I look really hard, I guess I can see the first one as a poodle. In clown makeup.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

The other night I had a dream that we adopted a dog with a little mustache. He was obviously French, (any dog with a mustache must be French), so we named him Pierre. Can we name that cake Pierre too?

A Girl In Her Kitchen,

The first cake shall henceforth be known as Pierre, the French clown poodle dog thingamajig.

Kinda like the Star Registry. Name your own cake.

*clearing throat*

That'll be $49.95.


HAH. The very best part is the multiple disclaimers!

That, and the cookie man being run down. So patriotic.

Brilliant post!

...the saggy clappers comment got me. Thanks for my Monday morning laugh. And have a fab holiday today!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

Well, speaking as one whom loves frosting more than the cake, I could happily down that first poodle/Sam (with my eyes closed, of course).

As for the broad assignation of ignorant-by-choice by Anonymous-teacher-person, I was a journalism major before texting days yet I never heard that who/whom "tip" until today.

Thanks, Jen & John for filling the gap in my education while entertaining and enriching my spirit.

A poodle? Really?!? I thought it was Bozo the Clown sportin' a goatee and handlebar moustaches. I can see the Colonel easier than a poodle. In any case, these are all very fitting and, ahem, respectful (boy, that was hard to say with a straight face) tributes to those who--I mean WHOM--serve(d) our country.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I love the educational aspects of this website. Grammar AND foreign languages for the price of one.
And you may have solved my problem with my neighbor's barking dogs. After 3 hours of solid yapping, I should yell at them in French. Too bad my French class was 50 years ago and the teacher told me I spoke French like a German.

WV jauncer, which is probably French for something I'd prefer the next door poodles not to do.
"Otto, Sidney (no wonder the dogs bark with names like that) je ne se pas le zohn-say."

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

These were...mesmerizing.
wow. I almost snapped a picture of a cake in the store yesterday that depicted an American flag but looked more like bacon strips galore, but it was a work of the highest artistry compared to the, erm, "Liberty Belle" cake and Uncle Sam le Poodle.

(John, don't you mean "Whom was a colonel"? ;-)

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMoggypie

That was a poodle?! WTF? Do people actually PURCHASE these things?

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa

Is that blue thing fireworks or an octopus holding tinsel?

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA Paperback Writer

today's wrecks are full of WTF-ness. My first thought on CW2 was, "patriotic P***is." Yow.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I'm with Donna M. I wouldn't have guessed that for a poodle in a million years...and I'm glad you tagged the tank, cuz again, woudn't have guessed that one either!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteroriginalrager

I don't live in the country (now) but still say "folks". And I said guys as a non gender specific and convenient noun.
But I'm weird. I said "soda" for those fizzy drinks in cans. I don't know about FL, but around these parts, those thangs are call't "Cokes". As in "I will have a coke." - "What kind? Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Sprite or rootbeer?"

LMAO at this post, in public.


May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Amazing-even on a somber day like today, there are always wrecks to find-these were great

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

RE to john's disclaimer to disclaimer to disclaimer to disclaimer:

Are you presuming that us "folks" who live in the "country" use "folks" to describe a collection of people other than ourselves, exclusively? And that people who live elsewhere never use "folks?" Loony Tunes disagrees with you, unless Porky Pig was exclusively from the "country," which I sincerely doubt considering the number of cartoons I've seen.

In fact, Porky Pig was a known adventurer! He's traveled to several places in this great world of ours.

But I digress. Certainly you could have used "people" instead of "folks." Or perhaps you could have said "folks, though that would imply you were a fan of early morning cartoons."

Though perhaps that would have offended cartoons. People are so sensitive these days.


May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterE.M. Green

entertaining AND informative!

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHanna

Thanks for the disclaimer about the use of "guys" as a generalizing term! Very much appreciated. Rock on. =)


May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNathan

The first one kind of reminds me of Luigi (from Cars: in clown make-up. Maybe it's his French cousin the star of Cirque du Soleil?

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

I definitely saw that first one as a scary-@ss clown, and I totally thought that "wee wee" referred to the thing under its nose. Apparently my brain is less family-friendly than everyone else's. Wow.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are great. Posting some serious and beautiful memorial cakes next Sunday would be awesome too. Would love to see those.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Cake number three looks like a uterus and fallopian tubes wearing pants. I didn't know they were supposed to be dressed.

May 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

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