My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?

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Reader Comments (219)

Unbelievable! Incredibly bad taste - and I'm not talking about eating those things!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

It looks like a Sperm Cauldron, which is so gonna be the name of my band!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

My eyes! My eyes!

Holy Cow. Seriously, it boggles my mind that these cakes were actually made. I think I just found some great motivation to go back to work now and try to clense my mental pallete.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Trains one day, babies the next. Yeah, we got that Tuesday symbolism.

Frankly, I find the idea of a flower growing in my uterus rather disturbing. Would it tickle me from the inside?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

The problem is that anyone has ORDERED these cakes in the first place. A bakery can only do so much with an order like that!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the green, plant-like vagina on the plant analogies cake is what's going to give me nightmares! who thinks of this stuff?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Why, oh why, are Kristin's boobs bigger than her baby bump?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterteacherlady

I'm sorry, maybe the people who ordered these cakes would say I have "no sense of humor" but I think every last one of these is disgusting and inappropriate.

I mean, carrot jockeys are funny. Uterine and sperm cakes? Not so much.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKimmie

I'm speechless.
Erin G.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As disturbing as these cakes are (in a freakin' hilarious way), I do have to say I'm liking the goggles #2 is sporting. LOL! I scared my cats with my sudden outburst of laughter!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMyCatsRule

Wow....those are so disturbing on so many different levels!!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

ok i am so scarred for life!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather, Neilson, Grace &

I believe your note at the end of the post, Jen, and I look forward to the end of year/old men cakes in December.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #2 - Too cute. Dad never gets enough recognition.

Cake #5 - I like it. Go lesbians!

The last cake? That one makes me hysterically happy I'm menopausal.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

Wait a minute! "Woman" + "sushi roll with fish eggs on top" = Baby?

Yes. but baby WHAT?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAllen's Brain

My eyes!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDT

At first I thought that cup o' sperm was sushi.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ

I didn't think "coffee" when I saw the rainbow cake; I thought mom got pregnant in an unfortunate hot-tub incident. (Urban legends die hard.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkayak





January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Yes, I will have nightmares... and I'm forever changed too. I'm loving the cup of mojo tho!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter911 and the Randomness..

The baby in (um, literally) the last cake has the same terrified look I imagine we all do...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I'm not such a fan of icing and probably wouldn't waste time scraping it off a cake like this, whether I was the new mom or not. I can imagine the shower where I discovered it:

"Wow, let's have cake RIGHT NOW. I just can't WAIT for CAKE! Let's cut it up before we have to look at it ANY longer! Oh my GAWD, THAT'S REALLY SOME CAKE!"

WV: Zingers-- Forget the cake. Let's just all share a box of Zingers. Please? Twinkies? Anything?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to admit that I thought the sperm wearing goggles cake was pretty funny. The rest will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKore

Totally makes sense... New year, new baby.. and those were just scary. I'll never look at my coffee cup the same way. Ever. :)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

The flower sprouting out of uterus freaks me out a lot less than the green vajay. I think she should have that checked out.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCate

Nice to show the medical side of the process of birth. You know, in case you happen to teach a Health class to impressionable teens, and you were wondering what to bring to class parties.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjj

Egads! Good thing I'm beyond reproduction or this post may have put me off for good. I'm still debating about whether I'll return to eating cake or not. . . .

On a positive note, is there really anything better than birth control disguised as cake? Really?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Good Lordy Lord, with lashings of Lordliness, and Lordy sprinkles! I'm an ex-nurse, and still those (for want of a better word) cakes horrified me!

The last one, with a remarkably clean newborn peeping coyly from beneath the sheet, made me choke on my own spit....

WV: "ficenta" - a fictional placenta, like the one lurking inside some of those cakes!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJane

The dad cake was kind of cute, but the pushing out and the daisy I will not be getting much sleep after seeing! My husband and I are wanting to get a start on our fmaily this year, but AGH!!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Penny

Changed for life? I may be scarred for life after seeing some of those!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElleBee

That last cakeā€¦ thank God I finished breakfast first.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjhames

"Yeah, I need a baby shower cake. Can you put some sperm on it? No, you won't do that? Well, uh, how 'bout some balloons, then? OK, that'll be fine, too."

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one - my mind just broke.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Maybe its just me, but I thought that the colorful one was more along the lines of "woman plus birthday cake (decorated with sperm?) = baby." Still eww, but totally on theme!

Also, could the last one represent a "Congratulations on your first real job!" cake for a recently graduated Ob-Gyn? That'd make more sense...


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

I find it interesting that you put a warning on the post of clowns ... er ... clowning around, but not on this display of graphic ... er ... graphics.
No, I'm not complaining, I'm just interested.

Now that schools seem not to be teaching sex ed anymore, maybe young people have to get it from cakes. How else would they learn that sperm cells have eyes and noses (and they come in a can), and that babies grow in a pod on a daisy plant in Mommy's tummy?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Having seen many babies be born that last cake is disturbing. Where is that baby coming out of??? Although if done "properly" it would probably be creepier....

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLe

i first thought the cup of sperm was a sperm sushi! Ewwww!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay

Glad to know your rationale--it was a little eerie to come upon these when I'm due any day now. And yes, I'll be having nightmares!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa G

Some people are just S-I-C-K!!!!!!!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoo

Sigh... for the first cake I'm picturing a group of kids with their plates out... "I want *that* piece. The one with the sperm on it."

Just plain wrong on so many levels.

Why, no, I'm not usually this green. Thanks for asking :o)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen in Canada

I am horrified by the last cake! I thought the belly cakes were bad, but to go to such lengths...I don't think I want kids now...

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten

Holy eff, that last cake had to have originated here in Chattanooga, TN. That's where Erlanger Hospital is located.

*hides in shame*

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarmaPearl

I've had four babies & that last one still made me squirm. What in the world are people thinking when they order these cakes, let alone make them???

The sperm goggles are pretty funny though. DH always said that people's "congratulations!" when we were expecting made him uncomfortable. I'll have to show him that cake when he gets home from work!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

who wants to eat a safety pin? Seriously. Yikes

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

steaming cup=artificial insemination?

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

I'll admit it...I like the sperm cakes. (Oh...oh, gosh, that sounded REALLY bad.)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Oh crap! That last one is LOCAL! My son was born at that hospital! Aaarrrggghhh!

I would so have a fit if somebody gave me that cake for a shower!

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

Of course it's sushi! Woman + nice dinner at sushi place = baby making opportunities galore.

(Or there's something afoul in ye olde sushi shop's kitchen!)

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

As if my pregnancy hormone induced dreams weren't crazy enough, now I have alien daisies to look forward to. Oh, and the last cake isn't helping either since Erlanger is where I'll deliver.

January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The pink uterous cake with the cookie fetus looks more like a bedpan. I think this one was for one of those ladies who go to take a poop and find themselves attached to the potty on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. So with that in mind, it is totally appropriate. Not gross at all.


January 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa T.

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