My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Abbreviation Sensation Sweeping the Nation

I guess it started innocently enough.

When your "Yay Jesus" crowds out the rest of the text, you cut a few corners on the "birthday" to cram it all in. Ok, fine. I get it.

The problem started when some wreckerator somewhere looked at that and thought, "Hey, that saves me four whole letters! I should write it that way ALL the time!"

And so...[dramatically steepling fingers] began.

First a dash was added, to make it seem more respectable:

It's an unwritten rule in baking that you can butcher a name as much as you like, so long as it's followed by a question mark.

Then they ditched the 'B':

Next, the "day":

The first 28 were delicious.

And finally, inevitably, we arrived at...this.

One can only hope they were charging by the letter.

Can it get any worse, you ask?

Oh, please. You know better than to ask that by now, don't you? [smirk]

It's like a code. Am I wishing you a happy birthday? Maybe, maybe not. I might be wishing you a Herniated Bowels day. Because, yeah, I do that sometimes.

And yet, shockingly, we still haven't gotten to the worst part of this whole abbreviation craze.

Think with me for a moment: are there any holidays out there that might not do well in an abbreviated form? Any at all? C'mon. Think about it.

Give up?

Oh, good. I'm positively itching to show you this last photo.

It's a Valentine's Day cake. Scout's honor.

Thanks, Erin C., Aimee P., Michelle W., Angela C., Darnell, Elizabeth, & Chris. Y'all are hunk a' hunks of burnin' love in my book.

« Wrecky Roughage | Main | The Number Won »

Reader Comments (96)

Enjoy your VD? Oh BOY. Are you sure that's a Valentines cake, and not a passive-aggressive shot by a jilted lover? "Oh, sweeeeeetheart, I didn't want to stay with you forever anyway. Btw, I have herpes! Enjoy, ta-ta for now! xoxo"

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I so needed that laugh today - TY!
WV: desserd - If you gave me that VD cake, you desserd what you get...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

Geez Louise, those are some whoppers today...especially the VD cake! My eye is twitching...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

Clearly, the person who takes the order shoulders half the responsibility for these wrecks. Oh, sure, "HB" is a good abbreviation for "Happy Birthday", but only if you are the one who will be armed with the piping bag. (Like my grocery list often reads: "TP, PT, PP, GG". I know what that means, but I wouldn't trust it to anyone else.)

And thanks for the new "Beth" cake. Emailed the "Betch" cake to my friend Beth, and she wasn't sure how to take it. By the way, is that a brownie cake or just some really bad icing job?

wv: lepin
"Lepin lizards, Batman, them's some ugly cakes."

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Oh no...that last cake is from Marble Slab! At least the cake would be totally delicious!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

VD???? Bwahahahahaha!!!!

"Yeah, for VD I gave my old woman flowers from Wal-Mart, a box of stale chocolates, and syphillis."

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac


July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, so "bday" I get, even if I prefer writing out the full word (like it's so long and hard to spell ... oh, wait). But just "H" for happy? Really, people? It's someone's special day, and you can't even be bothered to write out a 5-letter word for a positive emotion?

The VD one is hilarious, though! I'd love to see a doctor take advantage of that one to promote testing.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

I haven't laughed like this over a blog post in a very, very long time.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

"HB DAY" would be in celebration of pencils?

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Oh, the VD takes the cake for sure! And your witty "hunk of burning love" comment at the end made my morning!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

LOL that last cake is a riot! and possibly an insult, underlined with a sweet pink heart shape and all its irony.

HB Emil sounds like a secret code...(He's Back, Emil! Hide Booty, Emil! Hide Body Emil) etc.

then poor Nat. do they not know his name or whether or not to wish him a happy B-day? maybe it's not birthday (again, code).

Happy Day with the tie dye airbrush looks trippy! I wonder if they're celebrating a good mood induced by controlled substances.

and #1 is very puzzling. "Yay Jesus?" Is this is a very Christian group and they're celebrating their faith and a birthday? Unless Erin is giving a cake to Jesus and had the inscription written like a note instead of a normal inscription. Or again, we are assuming it's a birthday and maybe it's not and she's congratulating Jesus on something else...

too much thinking today! i feel like i'm trying to solve a puzzle

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjo

*snort* Yes, because one should ALWAYS enjoy their VD. "Honey, I promise, you're gonorrhea-lly love this cake." HA!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

The whole "Yay Jesus" thing made me too distracted to enjoy the post.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Hi Boob Nazi,

Yeah. We looked really hard for another one but that was really the best cake for the flow of the post. I'm pretty sure no offense was meant on the cake though.

Sorry about that,


It's a Valentine's Day cake ---- yeahhhhhh, surrre it is.

I'd rather think it was from some guy's girlfriend to his wife. But then, I'm twisted like that, and think it would be a great one to insert into a murder mystery.


WV: [blank] - now what??

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My friend makes cookies on Valentine's Day and writes Happy VD on them purposely to mess with people.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

Oh.My.Dang. That last one is KILLER! Lolololol

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

Does anyone else notice that on the HB Day "cake" someone snitched a cupcake from the top right? Or were we all distracted by "Yay Jesus" and Happy VD?

This is quite the Wrecktacular Wrecktacular.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthe mama

I remember back in grade school, a parent brought in a plate full of heart-shaped cookies for the whole class on Valentine's Day. The cookies all had "Happy VD" written on them in icing.

Good times.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeff.w.mcclung

OMG enjoy your VD???? I highly doubt anyone would be enjoying a venereal disease! lol

check out my blog:

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~Nikki~

These cakes are hilarious! I'm just wondering if the "Nat" cake was supposed to be "N'at," a la the Pittsburgh colloquialism? (Not that I would ever want that on a cake, it just makes more sense to me ;))

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, I'm going out on a bit of a limb here. My theory for cake #1 is that Erin's birthday is either very close to or is on Christmas Day, so the cake is celebrating a double birthday, so to speak. When my kids were small, we always sang Happy Birthday to Jesus on Christmas Eve.

As always, this post is amazing! To think that an actual business establishment would intentionally put "Happy VD" on a food item for sale completely cracks me up!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

@Meg: "you're gonorrhea-lly love this cake"... brilliant.

Yay Jesus... a bit odd to put on a cake, why not just use a cross instead the balloons if you're that religious? But, OK.

Poor Nat... hope her future cakes are better, or else she's not going to undersatnd the pleasure of "b-day" cakes!!

Tie Dye... Happy Day at least makes sense. Especially if they're mindset goes with the decor.

And you do say "Happy 29th" to people. With the teensy tiny addition, the cake works. Without it... I guess Beth was depressed, and is now happy? Or there were 28 previous Beths, and they weren't happy??

Poor Emil. Horrible cake, and it looks like they tried correcting it!

HB Day-- I'm with @Joel on this one: this CCC is for pencils. And they didn't finish drawing it.

VD cake... love it. That was laugh-out-loud funny! And I liked the itching and burning comments too :)

WV: I'm "schar" that there's even worse out there...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Well I find it mind boogling to see such see wreaks. Don't any of these stores or bakeries have bosses who over see whats leaving the back room? The VD cake is a hoot, but I have to say it is a strawberry cake so I would just have to eat it.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

worse than that VD abbreviation is those randomly cut chunks of anemic strawberry. They're not in season in February - let it go.

WV: patent
Writing out "happy birthday" as a professional decorator is patently obvious.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfaunablues

If you aren't careful, one V.D. might lead to another...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMamaChristy

I can't believe those are pros! They look like someone picked-up a to-go cake and did their own writing... which might have been a better choice!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErika

That last one made me laugh out loud! Too funny!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

oh.... my. still can't quite breathe.

How have you managed to not throw that cake out there before today???? that's been driving you crazy hasn't it?

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT

IIRC, "Jesus" is a reasonably common name, especially among Spanish speaking people, and maybe others. Perhaps the "Jesus" cake is for someone with that name.

Alternately, it could be a Christmas cake, though why it would then have a "1" and "Erin" on it could be a mystery.

WV: dinester
Eating some of these cakes could really be a dinester

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

I'm not sure an Easter Day cake would be much better... at least for the guys...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterQuiteLight

But you forgot suggested "abbreuiations"

Like this:

Who says a google search for "Costco cakes" while at work produces useless results?

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChakaKhan

I seriously keep forgetting that these are "proffessionally" made cakes!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

HB Day = Horrific Baking Day. YEAH, it's a real holiday.

just sayin'.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

My dear Jen, I'm going to assume that that "Nat" cake actually says, "Happy B-Day N'at?," in a sad, sorry attempt at Pittsburghese. ;)

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTindy

You made my day with that VD cake.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's an unwritten rule that no one "enjoys" V.D., but hey, maybe it's the curable kind and they're celebrating?

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKarlyH

"Jesus" is a very common name. Either they are having a duel cake or it has been a tough year for the birthday girl.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ho-lee mo-lee. Wow.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlisonH

At least the "Yay Jesus" cake was not combined with the VD cake...

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Oh dear.... !!

I like Amanda's idea... "passive-aggressive break up cake" for the win!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Shouldn't the VD cake go with the Story of Amber?
FaunaBlues, speak for your self about strawberry not being in season during February. They ARE in season where I live in February. We start getting fresh strawberries around Christmas here.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaede

I'm a huge fan on how the "29th" is all small and at an angle on the "Happy Beth" cake, like it was an after thought. "Oh no, we forgot the birthday when writing on the cake! What do we do?!" "How old are they turning? Just shove the age in there, it'll totally look intentional."

"Yay Jesus" had me in stitches. as did "Enjoy your V.D.", although I freely admit to being the one who makes all the sad, bitter VD puns when February rolls around

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStrangeLiz

Until I got married my initials were V.D. Neither I nor my parents realized the horror until my boss pointed it out to me when I was 16. I was furious.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVal

Wow...where's the WTF cake? LOL

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKris

I think the last cake was someone's clever way of letting their partner know that he/she should go get tested. Beats the heck out a boring phone call.

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Boob Nazi and John: Jesus is a common Spanish name, and maybe his Irish friend Erin wanted to wish him congrats. OR, maybe it was a cake for Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus.

It distracted me too, but for other reasons. (as in WTF does the inscription mean?)

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow, that last one is really funny! Imagine seeing that one in the bakery pick-up window-eeeeww!

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah

I've never posted before, but I LOLed at the VD and had to comment! Ty

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTy

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