My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Conventional Wisdom

It's possible that I just spent the last four days relentlessly Twitter-stalking everyone at San Diego Comic Con. Possible. You can't prove it. What do you mean, when did I shower last? I'm going for an authentic experience here! Gimmie back my Funyuns.

Anyway, coming down off a convention high - even one acquired vicariously through social networking sites - requires a gradual withdrawal. Yesterday's Sweets helped a little, but really, they were just too good. I need a visual sucker punch to knock me back into reality, you know?

Theeere it is.


And for that final cold blast of reality, this should fit the Bill:

"Oh nooooo!"

I could probably end there, but frankly, this is too much fun.

First rule of cons: always pick a costume that's size-appropriate:

This also applies with cake kits.

Second rule of cons: a lone mask does not a costume make.

Come to think of it, that *also* applies to cakes. And cookies.

Third rule of cons: Lace is never intimidating.

"Join me, Luke, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and...what? What's so funny? Why are you laughing?

"Is it the doily? It is, isn't it? Hutt nuts, I told Palpatine no one would take me seriously in this thing."

And finally, the Na'vi Nazis are here to show us what happens when you mix your sci-fi references:

See, I told them not to open that ark. [shudder] Blech.

Thanks, Deborah, Laux, Shawn F., Tharry, Lizzy S., Julie Anne D., & Shanell C.! See y'all at Dragon*Con. ;)

Note from john: The first cake is supposed to be Iron Man. We think. Most likely. Probably. Okay I'm like 63% sure.

Nappy Blob Blob Katelynn!

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Reader Comments (109)

What is that first...thing...supposed to be, anyway?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterglitzee76

Oh ... my ....

Is it any wonder why the first one is marked down to $8.33? Until I enlarged it (twice) I had no idea that it was Ironman. Actually, I had no idea it was anything.

And I believe that is Pooh rather than Mr. Bill. Why Pooh was in a galaxy far, far away, I have no idea.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

What in the hell is that first cake supposed to be??? I don't even want to try guessing since I'll surely be way, way off.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

The last one's going to give me nightmares. *shudder*

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTyree

Putting Mr. Bill in carbonite had to be deliberate, but why? And if it wasn't deliberate...*shudder*

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

Darth Vader with lace? HILARIOUS. Maybe it was done to insult the dark side.

I personally thought the Han Solo attempt was cute . . . like a cartoon homage or something. Yeah, something like that. He's still a little cute.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

The sign over the left head in the last one says it all!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first cake I thought was a basketball jersey and I still have no clue what it's SUPPOSE to be, although I'm guessing something sci-fi.

Poor Han, as Mr. Bill. If the wreckerator was not a sculptor, then they should have declined the order.

Darth looks so sad....

Sharon's Edible Art

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

That last one is downright scary!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Ironman? My first thought was "BACON"!!

Love the Mr. Bill reference. I'll have to dig out my old VHS tape of Mr. Bill classics today.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

I like the Yoda cake, I think its really cute!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I NEED to know what happened to the complexion of the Walrus in the next to last cake? Did he eat something that turned his skin that color?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter1Kathleen

I have been reading Cake Wrecks too long; I guessed the first one was Iron Man! No thanks to any mad skills on the part of the wreckorator.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeccy

I actually really like the Mr.Bill in Carbonite...

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDawn Marie C

the signs above the Na'vi heads are a little comical too.
It took me almost a full minute to realize that first blood spattered scrap of skin was supposed to be iron man.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKellie Jensen

That first one is disturbing, like makes my stomach queasy kind of disturbing. It's really supposed to be Iron Man? Is this one of those pictures you have to stare at for a really long time until the image emerges?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstuckinmypedals

I dig the "corpulent, small belly badges Care Bears" CCC, although almost all CCC's make you cringe.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

Oh my.

OMG!! Iron Man... wow, um wow. Like, you sure it's not a really bad wife-beater torso?

Seriously, I think Yoda isn't bad. Not for what is usually here....

LOVE the Mr. Bill reference... but the two little bubbles down under his 'feet'? He's sooo cute in carbonite - and I know they never did do that to him - think it's time for a retro show.

I seriously had to double take the Care Bears. Thought those were the nose pieces. HA! Nose pieces, under those eye blobs... scare the little kiddies with Care Bear nightmares. "Mommy, the evil eyed blob cake ate all but my Love-a-lot Bear's face!"

Poor wittle Batman. Poor wittle white Batman.

Sweet conversation with Darth. I can hear it in my head. But why does it sound like Rick Moranis?


WV- fusled. I'm just so fusled by these CCC things - WHAT are they????

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think Darth Vader mated with a St. Bernard and the lace cake is their child.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

I thought the first one was a slab of meat... I have to agree with anonymous- the sign over the left head in the last photo says it all!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarey

First one: Iron Man?!?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Oooohhhhhhhhhh iron man...

I thought it was a flesh colored bathing suit on a peice of raw meat. I didn't get it at all.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

I don't think Mr. Bill in Carbonite is a wreck. I think it's adorable...if it was on purpose.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious! As usual. Aboslutely loved the star wars ones... Yoda was gray, not green, and an almost chibi Han Solo in pewter. Nice. And poor darth vader... Doily Darth.

That first one too... I'm gonna GUESS Iron Man?

off topic question... Ever watch the British show, The IT Crowd? Seems like your kind of humor, and one of the main characters is named Jen. You can netflix it. :)

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

After I decided it probably wasn't a wife-beater t-shirt, I decided the first one was The Face of Bo from Dr. Who.

Ironman? really?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChurndash

Yes, give us a clue as to what the first one could possibly be. My first impression was that of some sort of coffin. Hmmmm, that last ruffle-framed image looked like a decomposing sea lion. In all, a rather morbid post, guys, (snort, snigger) Norine

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The Mr. Bill one has to be deliberate, surely? Tell me it's deliberate, please.

(If it is, it's hella cute.)

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterfembot

IRON MAN??? Not Likely.

That first one is definitely balloon weiner dogs gone horribly, horribly wrong.


July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

First cake- DEFINITELY bacon!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith Travels

Oh. My. Word. That first one. Is that..... it couldnt be.... bacon? UG! Iron Man? Puleeze! And does anyone else find the aisle signs over the last two cake heads funny?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first impression on the first one was "slab of meat", but I gave it some scrutiny before moving on. I had decided it was a swimsuit on a tanorexic torso before reading the iron man clue. Wow...

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 looks like a grinder cranking out sausages to me, John....rather then anything resembling Iron Man.

Remember, come to the Lightside we have real cupcakes!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

I honestly thought the first one was a Silence of the Lambs cake... It puts the lotion on its skin... Horrifying.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSquidley

So, I was pretty sure that first one was Jar-Jar Binks with his eyes shut, until I saw the Iron Man things placed to the side, you know, for reference...

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKB

Did anyone else think that the last picture was a cross between the movies Avatar and Saw?

WV: bilbollo - a new virus you will contract if you eat those two scary, blue cakes.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryan

On what planet is that first mess Iron Man?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa

Did anyone other than me read #4 intially as cake "tits"? Which amazingly seemed to fit.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I believe the Han Solo in carbonite is from Lego Star Wars, and I kinda like it. My sons play the game on the Wii all the time.

WV: lumshr: I'm "lumshr" what the wreckreators was smoking when s/he made the ridiculously oblong Iron Man face cake.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenifer

I think my favorite part is the "baking nuts" sign in the background of the last picture. I didn't realize that you had to label the employees.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh! Iron Man! I though it was a flesh-colored nursing bathing suit and the white lines were slits for, well, the nursing part.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMama Martinez

Should I worry more that I did know instantly that the first one was supposed to be Iron Man?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEN

The first one actually reminded me a bit of Lady Cassandra.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPalida

#1 At last, documentary evidence that bacon does NOT improve everything. Say it isn't so!

Moving swiftly on, two earless, mutant bunny-things with faces for noses. As if that wasn't creepy enough, check laser-eyes on the right. "We care -- about your nightmares!" Do cake kits come with instructions? Pictures? Warning labels?

Doily Boy is hysterical. "Come over to the grey side, Luke -- I think we can really spruce this place up!"

Between the blue skin (yes, I know it is supposed to be) and the bulging eyes, those two heads look like they were asphyxiated prior to...winding up where they are. Or maybe some thoughtless person let them see a mirror. Cake, anyone?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

While Churndash thought the first one looked like the head of Bo from Dr. Who I think it looks like Cassandra, the last human from the first? second? episode of the refurbished series.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGreen

Wow, a CCC (patooie!) attempt at Iron Man *SAD*

Yoda's misshapen head/face on top of a poo pile with a straw stuck in it

Mr. Bill (or his evil twin?) encased in something that looks like a laminating project gone wrong

What to say about the Care Bears? Another childhood memory destroyed by creepy eyes and frosting that looks like it was applied with a fork

A Batman mask on a poorly iced sugar cookie. Wow. Nuff said.

Oh Darth, you look like a black Lhaso Apso with a frilly collar! So pretty! :)

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes

"Hutt nuts"???

SO stealing that!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMay

I realize the first one is supposed to be Ironman, but it looks like a human colon.

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I lost half my morning reading the reports from Comic Con. I'm blurry eyed and I think so were some of the people who made these cakes. You can still get passes for Dragon*Con in Atlanta. Come down, sign some books, see the parade. Joss Wedon might not be there, but Stan Lee will and two city blocks of storm troopers just for starters

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Just showed my sci-fi loving husband this post . . . shudder we did at Yoda with light saber for arms and laugh we did at Darth in Lace :)

Love Candace's name of "Doily Darth". Hilarious!

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

While everyone is stuck on the Ironman ccc, I can't take my eyes off the Na'vi one.
1- are we positive those heads are actually cake? If it is, I am amazed at the ability to carve a head so well and then mess up the rest
2 - good use of black licorice :)
3 - who eats heads? Na-vi or otherwise. Where do you carve from? ugg!
4 - why are their faces melting? gross!
5 - what are they on? paper waves? they didn't live on the water.
6 - Are their eyes - gummy lifesavers?
and worst of all 7 - where are their bodies? I don't know which is worse - the severed head or a whole body?

July 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

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