Name That Wreck!

I grew up with friends named Shannyn, Jesica, Jaison, and Aiyrunn, so I'm used to spelling names all "modern" and "stupid-like." Still, this is getting ridiculous.

Maybe it's Russian?

Well, at least they spelled "Birlhday" right.

We really hope Uncle Boon likes his cake; it was a joint effort.

When you're weeding out the bad cakes, shouldn't this one be high on the list?
(And does anyone else have the munchies?)

Ah, finally, a cake that describes the cake's consistency AND the birthday girl's skin tone:

Still, it kinda pales in comparison with other cakes, doesn't it?

Do you think this cake contains nuts?

Because it certainly has the berries. (HEY-O!)

Meghan, Michelle R., Matt A., and John C., I'm glad you all have pretty standard names, since now I have to have our intern, Gaffudga Selph (she's French), send out an apology for my insulting all of the Aiyrunns out there.

UPDATE: From the desk of Ms. G. Selph:

Dear Reader,

Please note that the authors and employees of Cake Wrecks™ and all of its subsidiaries, including but not limited to Cake Wrecks Footwear™ and Cake Wrecks Plumbing and Air Conditioning™, in no way mean to imply or construe that any or all names used in today's post are in any way, shape, or form "stupid-like." (Even those that are.) We apologize for any confusion.  

Sincerely,

Gaffudga Selph