My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Always the Quiet Ones

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you turned in some important paperwork to your boss or teacher, and on that paperwork you had doodled pictures of yourself wearing either a halo or devil horns, and a clown floating in the clouds above you, looking on.

Do you suppose your boss/teacher might then call you in for a little chat? You know, just to see how the ol' home life was going? Maybe see if you needed anything, support and/or prescription-wise?

Because, as you may have guessed, this really isn't a purely hypothetical question.

I don't know what's going on here, but I fear for the dog's future.

In fact, from the looks of things I'd say a few of these wreckerators are one more "That's Karl with a Q" away from a destructive binge that ends with them pole-vaulting the counter and riding the floor waxer out in a blaze of glory.

"Go ahead, punk. Tell me you want sprinkles again."

So here's an idea, bakeries: Why not hire a psychologist to come in every now and then, you know, just to browse through the cakes? That way, when something like this pops up:

He or she will know it's time to schedule another stress seminar.

Or even to stage some kind of intervention:

"I don't get it; all I asked for was a birthday cake!"

Or - and I'm just spit-balling here - maybe to alert the proper authorities:

Um. Yeeeeah. When dark oily shadow blobs start sweet talking the customers, I'd say another sexual harassment seminar might be in order.

Don't worry, Amy W., Katie M., Magic Girl, Krystal K., & Kate F.; I hear they serve cake at those.

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Reader Comments (82)

I love how the first creepy cake was only $2.50... who are they kidding? they aren't selling that thing.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBeth M

awesome post as usual!!

I'm sure that last cake is the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz (and I'm sure you guessed that too). But why they didn't even attempt to put a green face on it, I can't guess.

All of those are hilariously awful!!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSylph

Those wreckerators might have to fight the customers for the floor waxers… I'm sure they're trying to get away from those "come hither" graves and blobs!

Was that supposed to be the post-meltdown Wicked Witch of the West or Armus from Star Trek: TNG's "Skin of Evil" episode?


July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm not generally a "laugh out loud" kind of reader, but man, I was with this post. Love it!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Riding the floor waxer in a blaze of glory is sheer brilliance!

ouggeway--the crying smiley face was ouggeway out of line.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah M. Anderson

Yikes! I love the last one :)

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

There are no words for that first one. And it once again proves that clowns are evil.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Wow. Though the emo smiley-face one is just a victim of runny icing, I don't think it was intended to look like that.

The "join me" grave one, though... really? That's professionally made? O_O

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda


July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Good Lord...o_O"

Maybe the first cake is the poor man's version of "It?"

-French Bean

The smiley face cake reminds me of the old Zalgo meme.

Zalgo! He comes!!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoew

That 4th paragraph is an absolute thing of comical beauty. Awesome.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

Oh my god, this has to be my FAVORITE post yet!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

Wow . . . just . . . wow.

I have no other words.

Just . . . wow.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ref +

I love this post. Who would have thought of making anything like that?

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter愛 - ちゃん

Completely disturbing . . . in the most hilarious way possible (thanks to your commentary). Really, what IS going through the minds of some of these, er, decorators?

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I too see the witch in the last one... perhaps I've been reading Cakewrecks too long.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Did anyone else notice the oil blob calling [presumably Dorothy] "my Pritty"?

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterspikat

I find myself suddenly jealous I don't have a floor-waxer to ride out in a blaze of glory... :(

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

So, I have to ask. Is "Karl with a Q" a thing? Is it from a show or movie or something? Because when I was in high school, I met a kid through a friend who was very very odd, but also introduced himself as "Karl with a Q." It was extra creepy to see that exact phrase with all these creepy cakes.

As for riding the floor waxer out in a blaze of glory, I feel that everyone should know this about rotos: if you stand on it, you will go around in circles without moving forward or backward. Very, very quickly. Also, it feels like standing on a jackhammer.

Which is not to say it wouldn't be glorious. Nothing like suicide by Shaken Grownup Syndrome.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElise


July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJW

The orange head of fury needs a happy flotsam smile to make his day. And yes, I too fear for that poor dog in the first pic. Awesome stuff, guys!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterL.B.

OK, WTFishsticks is going on in that first one? Holy cow, it's like several bad dreams all combined into one. And that Wicked Witch needs some serious intervention.

WV - dalatspo: I got nothin'.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

hahaha the smiley face with tears made me laugh so hard.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I'm beginning to think these decorators are purposely trying to get their handiwork on Cake Wrecks. That's the only logical explanation I can come up with for these 'cakes'.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha! I may be totally off on this one as of course it's not a direct reference, but when I read "Karl with a Q" all I could think of was this:

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

Ok, so I'm completely at a loss. Is it me or does the blob look like the shadow of the clown in the first post? I mean...weird. Now I wont be able to go down the cake isle at walmart for a while.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

I'm scared. I can actually see the witch riding a broom on that last cake.

::lies down, takes temperature::

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoses

I want that first cake for my projectives class. XD One of our assignments is to have someone draw a person, a house, and a tree. >.> It's missing the tree, but otherwise, is totally perfect. XD

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Oh my I laughted. So bad but so funny. Golly people get paid to do such awful work. I guess store policy is nothing gets throw out till after its expire date, no matter what it looks like. Thanks to Cake Wreaks for being here to make our day.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

You are aware that next week (Aug 1-7) is Clown Week?! You have to have some more good clown wrecks lying around. You have to!!!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin - Thrift Madness

I fear for the puppies' futures. That dog is obviously lactating. By the way, has anybody seen the puppies lately?...

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDennis

I think you've featured "Emo Smileyface" before but he's still just as creepy as ever. *shudder* Reminds me of a Stephen King novel or something.

The rest...0_o

ROFL floor waxer

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

Those are CRAZY.

The other day I was looking through the cake book at my local supermarket bakery (they've always turned out great for me!), and I saw what the elephant-in-the-tar-pit cake is supposed to look like. Anyway, the name of the cake is "Jungle Buddies"!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The creepy smiley face reminded me of the book South of Broad by Pat Conroy. Anyone else think the same?

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori

So I was sitting here twisting my head all around, trying to see that last cake from different angles, hoping that I could see SOMETHING in it. Nope, not getting anything. Guess you must be right and it's just an oily blob. Nasty.

Great post.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

For my 16th birthday, I requested a graveyard cake complete with gravestones. My mom had to explain to the bakery 3 times that I did indeed want a graveyard for my 16th birthday cake. We were going for a creepy theme since my 16th Birthday was on Friday the 13th that year. I do give the bakery credit and have to say that the cake they made me looked a whole lot better than the cake posted here. And they managed to spell my name correctly!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpita

I just love this blog. It always cracks me up.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Oh my gosh! That actually happened to me! I doodled pictures of angel and demon chibi cats, and one non-chibi, snarling, Sauron-eyed, demon cat captioned "Demon kitty wants your soul and your cookies" on a worksheet before I knew it would be turned in and I got sent to the councilor over it. I get that they're concerned, but they'll pull me out of class to talk about a doodle of a kitten with horns, but they never do a thing about the constant bullying. Schools need to get their priorities straight.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Clowns is scary. Nuff said. That graveyard is totally creepy and proof that some death-obsessed goth wannabe snuck into the bakery that night. The face doesn't look so bad if you turn your head and pretend it's two tadpoles swimming away from...nope, got nothin', sorry.
As for that last cake, I actually DID see the witch right away, but the blob was so much funnier! KEEP 'EM COMIN' JEN!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes

I've been reading this blog too long ... my first thought when I looked at the graveyard cake was, "Why is that poor soul buried under a poo log?"

I'll never look at blobs of chocolate icing the same.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

i especially liked the join me one! if you look closely at the oily blob you vaguely see that it is actually a hobbit with a cloak riding an oversized lollipop. DUH! and also i can't believe you didn't recognize a super clown comic when you saw one! the clown is rescuing the devil and angel from a colorless world! SO OBVIOUS! yes im being sarcastic.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChaos6267

The first cake is terrifying, woah! If I ever saw that in a bakery I'd be seriously concerned about my future. Maybe I watch too many horror movies. It really did take me a minute to recognize the last one as a witch too, and I'm trying to figure out why a smiley face cake would drip like that. I can't come up with any reason. The drips aren't even all going the same way. So creepy.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeachy

hey that yellow un-smilely face is a re-run. Im sure ive seen it on this sire before

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermoon

Wow. Awesome post. Those are truly terrible. You've been doing a lot of bad-spelling wrecks of late, but these cakes, to me, are much more the epitome of Wreckage. Seriously, what were they thinking?

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine Noble Beyer

The blob cake had my husband and me laughing for so long... it keeps coming up through out the day. Great post!

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRaven M. Molisee:

I went googling for "Karl with a Q" to see if there was some actual reference there. You're already there, along with several blogs talking about you, and not much else can be found.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The dog on the first cake will be perfectly fine! Looking at the redish aura it's probably a hellhound.

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPeter

I think I'm starting to wonder why grocery store cakes are included on here. The "decorators" obviously aren't "professionals."

July 29, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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