My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Decorating in the Meantime

This is why you never dine alone at fancy restaurants:

"I told you: my date is just really, really late! And who asked you, anyway?"

And this is why the Regional Transport Authority should always spell out their name:

I'm sure it's a pet name.

There's a fitness center in Dallas with the tag line, "Redefining the Fitness Experience." Something tells me the baker they hired for their anniversary cake didn't quite agree with that assessment, though:

"We're here to PLUMP [clap] you up!"

Hey, uh...guys? Has anyone checked with Justine about this?


And to think: all we've got are hamburgers and a Guitar Hero competition.

Ryan W., Gilbert, Kelsey C., & Karen B., may your Labor Day weekend be as labor-free as possible. (Unless you're having a baby. [Which would be weird, in Ryan or Gilbert's case. (Unless it's their respective female counterparts who are in labor. [Which would be cool.])])

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Reader Comments (59)

The writing on that second cake is actually REALLY good!

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

i got up at 430 this morning so i could refine my fatness experience...i love it! lol :o)

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha and James Soesbe

My fatness is completely refined. I've got fatness down to an art form. Pass the cake.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlizzied

I love the "fatness" cake. Maybe they just enjoyed the irony of their ordering a cake?

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

I'm guessing the crossed cake pillars on the fitness cake are suppose to represent dumbbells. If that's the case, then I would be handing the dumbbell cake back to them saying, "You deserve it more than me!"

Lovely penmanship on the Rat cake. Which I could write like that.

We are cake wreckers, my friends.
And we'll keep on wrecking to the end.
We are cake wreckers,
We are cake wreckers.
No time for Spell Check,
'cause we are cake wreckers
of the world!

Sharon's Edible Art

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

You totally get +12 geek points for getting your () and [] nesting correct at the end there.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSean

I really LOL'd '& Justine for all'. That made my Friday morning. I sure hope there's enough 'Justine' to go around.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStella

"With Liberty and Justine for all" - [in announcer's dramatic voice]: "This is a job for Letterman!"

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

Bravo on the last line to the submitters.
I can't believe you found a way to put "])])" in your blog post.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor (MOB)

Are you sure you couldn't have put more parentheses and brackets in your credits at the end? (Sarcasm off).

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

Is the first one supposed to look like a little, colorful bug flew onto it and got stuck?

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just came home from the gym and pulled up CW as I downed a glass of water. Fortunately I had swallowed before I got to "Refining the fatness experience," or else I would have snorted it out my nose! That is one snarky baker, serving that cake to a gym, but then what is the gym doing ordering cake? (Was this the same gym that did the Biggest Loser competition mentioned a few days ago?)
Oh, and now I'm craving cake, which will undo my hard work at the gym this morning. I'm refining my fatness experience, all right...

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Very lovely handwriting on the Anniversary cake! (anyone really know the story behind 'Rat'??)

'fatness'... There are not words to express my thoughts.

I agree with anon - is that a little bug on that lonely dessert?


wv - inonist - Inonist appreciation for our local cake decorator, who does not wrecky a cake make.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ummmm if it were really Regional Transport Authority, that would be a wreck of another color...RTA instead of RAT...Just sayin

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My little one looked at the first cake and said "Look a grasshopper!"

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

well, money can't buy you happiness, but apparently we have to buy friends. very nice....

and i love the parentheses and brackets at the end, all inside each other. hooray for run-on thoughts! :)

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermblonde7

Hey! I have a friend who's nickname is the Magic Rat. We call her Rat or Rattie. So it could be her cake!

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolkie

I'm just glad that the Justine for all cake wasn't on the same post as yesterday's . . . ahem . . . Rocket cake.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterReverend Ref +

1.) I got a pop-up ad when I first got on the site today. I really don't mind all the ads around. I get it, you deserve to be making some money for all your hard work, but pop-up ads are off-putting.

2.) Great post as always. I find it ironic that the "fatness" cake is so big. Just sayin'.

3.) I would like to commend you on your proper use of punctuation in the thank-yous. I love that you remembered to close all the parentheses and brackets. It makes me feel like there really are still intelligent and attentive people in the world. :o)

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSacha

Nope, no one checked with me, and it makes me rather uncomfortable to be "for all."

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

Last year I joked with my then pregnant sister in law "If you go over due by a week you'll go in to labor on Lobor day ha ha ha".

Yeah turns out I'm a witch or something because my curse came true. So we're celebrating my darling niece's first birthday this weekend.

Actually I may send you a pic of the cake as a sweet. The baker is family and VERY tallented.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I actually like the writing on the "rat" one.
Justine is a character form the Marquis de Sade 's work...maybe that's the explanationXD

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFrenchgirl

Nested parentheses FTW! :-) Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go refine some fatness...

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViolaNut

My fatness is as refined as it can get, thankyouverymuch. If only there was a cake that took off pounds when you ate it instead of adding them. I think that the lettering on the "Rat" cake is beautiful.

WV: vemousne, which is how some Wreckerator would spell "venomous," I'm sure, assuming that there was ever an order for a cake with that word on it. Which, come to think of it, might not be wise to eat.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

Love your review. So funny. Espec. the baking goof.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne

I'm thinking maybe "refining fatness" could be a euphemism that roughly equates to "redefining fitness." Like, "I plan to refine my fatness so entirely that it becomes invisible!"

So, basically, that wreckerator is a willful genius. Maybe.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarissa

wv: ingsfyin: There's ingsfyin and landin' on that first cake!

LOL @ Dani - similar story - guy at work told me I should go into labor before the New Year to get the tax deduction (accountant...go figure [and like I could really control the "when" part]{hey - brackets![fun!]}) ...which was 2 weeks before my due date. 12/30 my son was born.

Have a great weekend people!

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the irony of the fitness cake it makes me want to go there and plumped up and the and the rat cake i was confused because it looks like there is pink bee hives as for the first one I'm not even sure what the heck it is of what it says

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah, such deep questions come to mind....

Why is there a birthday candle on the Buy Friends dessert? Are they trying to rub it in that this poor person is alone with a solitary celebration?

Why RED icing for Rat's anniversary? It goes so well with the beautiful soft pink roses...

Is that the decorator holding up the fatness cake? Sure looks like official kitchen staff/chef attire to me!

Are those blobs supposed to be fireworks, or Justine's pom poms?

WV: idintl--"Idintl have anything to do with these wrecks, honestly!"

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the first cake is french pastry ... we have a small french restaurant that features pastries like these for desserts (and for take-out). They're exquisite and rich and really quite wonderful - and usually have some decorative feature on them...


September 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermn_me

I'm actually female and was pregnant pretty much all of last year :)

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRyan W

Wouldn't the Regional Transit Authority be RTA?

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know if my name were justine and I was running for president... that might make a good campaign slogan

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeggieT

Jen, are you sure you aren't a closet Java coder? You were way too precise with the brackets. :)

wv: fierspat - as in 'I strained my fierspat while refining my fat today at the gym.'

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNatalieG

ver. word: trieben

Which could be a wrecked "tres bien" for a cake in France, or a suggestion for Justine to "Try Ben" while she's at it. Hard to say.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCathy in AK

Awww, they've made a cake for Razvan Rat from the Romanian football team! Pretty sure he's a long way off his 35th anniversary of anything, though.

- Cheryl_bites

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So wouldn't the abbreviation for Regional Transport Authority be RTA and not RAT? Nothing wrong with abbreviating it if someone's not dyslexic. :-/

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica C.

I guess if you're going to call Justine a slut, it's better to do it with cake than,17958/" rel="nofollow">paint it on the water tower.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Regional Transport Authority = RAT, how exactly? You'd think it was RTA. Hm. Hm-hm-hmm-hmm-hm. I think you're wrong.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterethan_marston

am I the only one who thinks that the 'f' for friends in the first post is backwards?

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Heehee, the targetted ads are working, I'm getting "Jeans for All"!

And your article takes on a serious LISP at the end there. Bonus geek points to anyone who knows what i am SCHEMEing.

-- abadidea

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know what the bug is for!!!!
It's the "friend" our lonely diner is supposed to "buy"! Genius! Test the "friend" during dessert - add it to your total & take it home after dinner. (upsell!)

wv: ercatodi - Italian delicacy that would have perfectly fit the string of random words in the Italian post a few days ago

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret


September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In view of yesterday's SUA post, I simply assumed it was the same wreckor doing the RTA's cake.

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Buy Friend? If we knew what the dessert was, would that enlighten us as to the meaning? If this is the kind of thing one is likely to encounter in 'fancy' restaurants, I'll stick with the ones that advertise -- at least the dishes are recognizable and do not include cryptic messages.

Refining the fatness experience. I'd say that cake ought to do it. Unless the bakery wound up having to refine the total refund experience, after which they may have refined the wreckerator's unemployment experience...

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

This has probably been said, but does anyone else find it ironic that a fitness center is celebrating with cake?

September 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Lol.. I can't help but giggle at the first one. I can see eating then when dessert came the shock at being told to buy friends. Now how much would they expect me to pay for them lol. As for the 35th anniversary cake I wonder if someone was evil enough to give that cake to a spouse. That alone would be just pure evil and the wreckerator would be happily wrecking on.

September 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Excellent Hans and Franz reference! I also love the stacked plastic columns in the corners of that cake; they really class that sheet up!

September 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Coffee out the nose at the "Justine" for all!!

Confusion over the bug on the first fancy little number.

Guffaws over the "fatness refined" ( a new euphemism, no doubt!) and the irony of a huge, honkin' cake to celebrate fitness/fatness!

September 4, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterof sage and sepia

Yeah, I really don't remember volunteering for THAT...

September 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

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