My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Play Telephone!

"Hello, and welcome to the Systems Calibration Registry for Engineering Wireless Upgrades!
As you all know, this is a big year for our Brunswick team: they successfully released version 2007.18 last week!

[polite applause]

"Great job, guys!

"Now, before we get started on our exciting 5-day agenda of software and development lectures, why don't we break the ice with a good old fashioned game of Telephone? Johnson, you start."

Johnson whispers to Carrier:
“Thanks and congratulations 2007.18 upgrade team.”

Carrier to Dorsman:
"Thanks and graduations! 2007 ate lean, up late teen."

Dorsman to Yates:
"Fangs and Conga lactations, tooth house and 7up! Clean up, laid Queen."

Yates to Lau:
"With all due respect, Governor, I do not own the rights to this monkey."

Lau to Mangan:
"Thanks and congratulations 2007.18 upgrade team."

Mangan to Gjertsen:

"BWAHAHAHAHAAA!! AHAHAha...ha...hee...hoo...

"Wait. Who ordered the cake?"

Enjoy the convention, Ashley M! We'll be lecturing on Day 4 in the North Wing Restroom at 4:30 pm. See you there!

And yes, the cake really was supposed to read "Thanks and congratulations 2007.18 upgrade team."

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Reader Comments (53)

I don't get how these bakers get an order, and it turns into something like this! But I guess Telephone is as good a guess as any.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Handwriting horrors, what did that say?
Leaning tiers to ruin your wedding day.....

We will, we will wreck you!

Sharon's Edible Art

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

well, at least they spelled 'congratulations' correctly...

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Reminds me of the game we played as kids about passing on a phrase to see how it turns out in the end...Come to think of it, it's kind of like office gossip now.


September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Missed it by that much. I will have to say at least everything is spelled correctly, well spaced, and legible. The person who placed the order got what they deserved. For something like that, you WRITE IT DOWN, PEOPLE. (clears throat) That is all.

wv: subpater, a genealogy term in the descendancy of the male line:
great-grandfather, grandfather, father, stepfather, subpater

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

What cracks me up is that the decorators don't look at it and think, "That just makes no sense, no sense at all. I'd better call and confirm."

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWordfiend

I bet Ann was surprised to be given such recognition when it was a team effort. I wonder how the rest of the team reacted.


September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSAndy/SoFla

Thank goodness they used two sets of quotation marks!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMariea

That's a lot of unnecessary quotation marks!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

And look at all the extra quotes!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

It's 'cos Ann has taken Mr.T's place when they upgraded......

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B


September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGoof

hey at least they spelt everything correctly and the piping was neat

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

How do the bakers not realize that what they have written makes no sense at all?!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMolly Malone

I think neither Ann nor the A-Team get enough thanks or congratulations. Thank God they finally got a cake in recognition!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Absolutely love the name of the company! ;-D

wv: cossess - What cossess someone to think that cake was worded right?

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So... Ann joined the A-Team for their 2007 comeback?

And they're thanking her for upgrading the team?

Wait... What??

We have a phone where I work. We use it to call about confusing, illegible orders left by anyone that's not a decorator. Do they not have a phone in this bakery? Not even a cell phone on them? Whyyyy did they think this is the exact message they wanted??

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBryan

At least they spelled "Congratulations" correctly....

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRose're welcome?
(Still don't remember joining the A-Team.)

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

Monkeys make everything 23% funnier. It's a scientific fact.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Fangs and Conga lactations, tooth house and 7up! Clean up, laid Queen."

This is great. I think I'll go write it on a cake now.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Molly Malone said...
"How do the bakers not realize that what they have written makes no sense at all?!"

Maybe after they get enough orders from customers who really want them to write something that makes no sense (see Cake Wrecks archives for examples), they stop asking.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The "quotes" around "everything" are just "so wrecky."

Of course, maybe Ann was the team leader? Other than that, full wreck ahead!

WV: Braasta--a portmanteau of 'bro' and 'rasta.' "All de guys, braasta, mon!"

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterladyrazorsharp

I love how it's "Yates" that has the comment most out of left field. LOL!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

At work we call that game "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" and that is the ONLY way these wrecks can happen! *sigh*

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWembley Fraggle


Hahahahaha subtle, very subtle ;)

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did anyone else find the phrase 'conga lactation' incredible? Did anyone ever play telephone under water? That is one hard game under water in a lake.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay

I never get your movie references because my memory is just terrible. I'm assuming the monkey line is from a movie but I can't find which one. (Yes, I research these things.) Anyone want to help me out?

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

lol wtf

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wildly guessing, but the monkey line sounds like it may be from one of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies...


WV = "torathe" Ann torathe her hair when she saw this cake.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nom nom, double quotation marks! Kind alike winning the lottery don't you think?

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah, someone did notice the acronym-
Maybe like the owners of Thomas's English Muffins,(Bimbo Bakery) they do not wish to be branded.


September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous




WV - mundlene 0.0 These translations go well beyond the mundlene.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wish they'd just stopped at "I do not own the rights to this monkey."

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm just so proud that they spelled "congratulations" correctly. There is hope for the world!

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I bet you're a real hoot at the game "Mad Gabs!" Ever play?
My introduction to the game was memorable.
Me: "How do you play?"
Friend handing me a card: "Read it."
Me: "Eye needle axe ate if"
Me: I don't get it. Is it a riddle?"
Friend giggling: "Kind of. Read if faster."
Me (faster): "Eye needle axe ate if."
Friend: "Little faster."
Me: "I need a laxative....oh, no further instruction needed. Let's play." Nothing like an embarassing announcement to a roomful of friends to get a rousing game going!:-)

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

A gem as always.
It's funny... as you may have heard, we had a pretty major earthquake in Christchurch, New zealand, on Saturday the 4th, and many essential services (like internet!) were disrupted.I thought that after our long sojourn in the low-tech wilderness, boiling drinking water on a camp stove and playing board games by candlelight, that I'd miss my social networking sites the most. But where did I almost unconsciously head when I finally saw the green light on our router? Why, Cake Wrecks of course! And I found enough brilliant posts to really put a smile back on my face. I'm a long time reader, very infrequent commenter, but it seems a true die-hard CW addict. Thanks so much for bringing some much-needed giggles after a pretty cruddy week. xo

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarlyNZ

P.S You would have enjoyed the "earthquake-wrecks" in the local supermarket bakery on Sunday!
Some smart alec piped things like "Oops!" and "D'oh!" along with the date on top of each and put them out under a sign reading "Shakey Bakey Specials" at rock bottom prices. Honestly if I had the presence of mind to carry my camera, you'd have loved it :)

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarlyNZ

I adore Telephone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And have you ever got a sense of humor, friend :)

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmoniel

"Thanks and congratulations 2007.18 upgrade team" ?!

They were TOTALLY asking for it.

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

"Conga Lactations" is the now the name of my new band. So far it's just me, but with a name like this, I'll be fighting new members off in a matter of days. Thanks, Jen!

wv: laterm. When the wreckerator said he/she would call Ann to confirm the cake verbiage. "I'll call her laterm."

September 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So, so entertaining.

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anyone else notice the company name's acronym? ;)

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lol at what those letters spell out. Screw U is right especially if I got a cake like that I would feel a bit screwed lol. Whoever ordered it probably figured oh well they will eat it anyways.. which is true but still to have paid for that I would say that wreckerator definitely screwed the person paying.

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

If the wreckery didn't have a phone, they wouldn't be able to take phone orders.

If the wreckerator called back because something didn't make sense, either (s)he wouldn't be a wreckerator, or the wreckery would have the world's biggest phone bill.

The cure? "Please read back what I asked you to write on the cake. Spell out any words you aren't sure about." Of course, there is a high likelihood of *that* winding up on the cake, but at least the customer did everything humanly possible to avoid a wreck.

Another possibility is fax, but then you have the spectre of the fax being printed on the cake...

New cars have wreck avoidance technology. Why can't bakeries have the same?

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Is that cake sitting on a baking sheet covered in aluminum foil? Seriously? As if the alphabet soup on the cake itself wasn't painful enough...

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

At least they spelled "congratulations" correctly! They get points for that.

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMass Confusion

There's scotch tape on the aluminum foil too! OMG, how many different ways ARE there to wreck a cake? LOL!!!

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Wow. What a company. I didn't know you were part of SCREWU. But seriously...your name is Yates right?? I LOVE YOUR MONKEY COMMENT :))

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

CarlyNZ, not sure if you'll read this again, but I hope that everything is settling down and getting better down there. That was quite a quake!

September 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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