My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

You Say Hello, And I Say Goodbye

The arrival of a new baby is usually a time of joy and celebration.


"Well, the stork was busy, so we figured we'd just chuck the lil' tyke out around 30,000 feet. Why? Is that a problem?"


You know, people are always talking about the sweet little toes and fingers and stuff, but you want to know the CUTEST part?

"Jus' wookit dat widdle ootsey wootsey skulley wulley!"


"Hey, anyone else think Julie's looking a little tense today?"

"It's all downhill from here, kid.





"We call this one the 'Tub of Love:'"

"What do you mean, you're not supposed to put babies in full bathtubs?

"Ok, ok, FINE."





Thanks to Elizabeth S., Marisa T., Anne J., Emily L., & Jilissa K. for throwing up the baby with the bath water.


Oh, throw OUT?

Um... sure, ok, thanks for that, too.

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Reader Comments (77)

I gotta say, I kinda like the skull one. Then again, I live in Salem, MA, where every day is Halloween.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlexa

Baby Express has
fast service, poor packaging.
Would buy from again.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'd be tense too if
forced to wear a hulu skirt
of car wash mitters.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That third one.. did the hula-girl's water just break there? With the baby riding out with the surf? On an inner tube? Cause that's just weirdly awesome.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

1. What's wrong with the first cake? The baby is wearing it's parachute, it just hasn't opened yet.

2. Anyone who names their daughter Presley deserves a pink skull cake.

C. This is the best baby cake I have ever seen in my life. In fact it might be my very favorite cake of all time. I'm going to get rid of the framed photo of the Cinderella and T-Rex cake hanging over my fireplace and replace it with this. It sooo replicates my own birthing experience. Except I was wearing a T-shirt instead of a hula skirt and it was a hospital instead of a waterfall. BUT, I WAS wearing pearls. I don't do anything without pearls!!!

4. The "Tub of Love" looks like a "Coffin of Lace."

5. I had two great fears when my child was born: One was that I'd drop her down a flight of stairs and the other was that a deceptively cute rubber duckie would toss her out of the bathtub onto a cold tile floor. I fear my evil duckie nightmares will return. Shudder...

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

And how can that baby be swimming down the falls, if mom is still preggos?

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

I am pretty sure I peed a little on that one...

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

Maybe Baby Presley was born on Hallowe'en?

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

"thump"- diet coke came out my nose.

What makes me sad, is that the cakes are all done pretty well (except that tiny baby in an ocean of bathtub icing), it's just the subjects are so....

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

For the right kind of parents, the skull one is pretty cute.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

You know, the last bathtub one is really well done. I hope the bathroom floor is clean, though .(well, it's gotta be, with all those bubbles, right?)

Great Haiku today, by the way, Haiku Joy! Fast delivery on babies is vastly under-rated.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

That's not even a baby skull: It lacks the gap on top (called the fontanel) where the bones don't finish growing together until the kid is well over a year old.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterC

I kinda like the first two - the semi-gothy goodness of the second one makes up for it not really being a baby cake.

The rest though - *thump* indeed.

That was my head hitting the desk.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Is that a Tiny Toons reference I see up there? Surprisingly, I kinda like the skull cake's not my taste, but it's kinda cute :)

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarrieD

#3 and 5 are really cute, until they added the figures....

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCB

That last one is one of the least objectionable baby cakes you've presented. I can very easily think of that object on the floor as a dolly left behind (or waiting for) the actual kid. The third one, though--such amazing artistry and cleverness, such a weird total effect, such a creepy pregnant hula dancer thinking about world domination.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBerk

I don't know, that bathtub one looks kind of like a coffin to me.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

HAHAHAHAHAHAH This is all to good to be true. :D THE brings me to tears.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

OK, so all I can think of with that hula one is: Her water broke, is flowing downhill and VOILA! baby came sailing right out....on an inner tube! Oy!

And the tub? It looked more like a funereal bassinet to me. Creeeeeepy.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterquisty0174

Regarding that first cake: "With God as my witness, I thought babies could fly..."

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

W...T...F what are they trying to convey????? D:

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I was fine until I got to the *splash...thump*. Then coworkers were peering over the cubicle walls at my laughter :D

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H

The "thump"! Oh, the "thump"!
You people are so sick. And I'm sick for thinking that was hilarious. Keep up the great work!!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

What's wrong with sending baby down the waterfall of love?

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

When I first looked at the bathtub one, all I could see was a casket! The white roses don't help at all.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPan

I like the skull one...It's cute and punk...and pink...

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine the Great

I have a friend who accidentally gave birth on her bathroom floor. Maybe that cake was for her!

I love the crazed hula girl one!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Yes, the first "bathtub" is supposed to be a bassinet, but it looks lie a bathtub with all that blue "water." That's what makes it funny.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Hey, "C"... You said, "That's not even a baby skull."

You're looking at this the wrong way!
You *could* appreciate the finer aspects of it, such as:
(1): It's not every day that you see one of them sporting red eyelashes and skull-bows, and (2): Purple and red REALLY suck together.
So, there you go: there aren't very many finer aspects.

Maybe they'll save the cake for when little Presley is "well over a year old," and then it'll be juuust riiiiight.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

These cakes are such a welcome relief from the horrible footcakes yesterday. (Were those like footnotes, only uglier?) Anyway, looking at that hula-skirted one was sort of like being at the scene of a train wreck--just could not look away.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Maybe Baby Presley was born on November 2nd (El Dia de los Muertos).

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Love this site!! Just wanted to give you another take on the first one.

My baby (10 years old now - 4 months at the time) came via a "silver stork" all the way from Korea. That's what we called the American Airlines shuttles that made their way to happy families here in the U.S. They really were special deliveries!!!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPsRa

@BADKarma: Thank you! The cakes today were great and your comment was the icing on them.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Heh. In the "Tub of Love" photo, you can see that the baby's eyes are open...
It's not hard (for me, anyway) to imagine that to be a look of abject fear...(" Where AM I? What are all those bright lights for? I'm STUCK! I can't move my legs or arms! Do I HAVE legs and arms??")

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~


"And how can that baby be swimming down the falls, if mom is still preggos?"

She's not "still preggos." She's pregnant AGAIN. And she just found out that she's going to have the BOY that she always wanted.
What we're witnessing here is the sacrifice- of- the- girl -baby- while-making-it-look-like-playtime-because -there-just-isn't-enough-cake-for-two-kids.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

I thought the bathtub one was a coffin. Creepy!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermelly

i've got a friend who is a pilot & she'd LOVE to have that first one for a shower cake. :) & frankly, i think the "monster high" skull one is actually pretty darn cute.

the hula one is more than a little creepy though. she looks reeeeeally happy to see baby sent off over the falls.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteralli

@ BADKarma
A WKRP reference! YAY!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who looked at Cake #4 and saw a very frilly coffin.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

"Splash...thump" That is HI-Larious, y'all!

I love the Baby Express haiku. Well done. ; - )

Now, what the heck is going on with Julie The Stepford Hula Dancer? And did anyone else notice the rubber duckies going over the falls, too?

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

when I saw the hula one, the song "If I die young" by Band Perry comes to mind.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoAnn

My friend named her daughter Presley. I never understood why. My sister's MALE horse is also named Presley. Presley is an appropriate name for a horse. NOT a baby girl.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Baby on the bathroom floor? really? REALLY?

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

The Hawaiin cake is actually really good, just the figures need some work.

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara M

Skull Cake: "Welcome, future dead person!"

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew

That "Hawaiian" cake is ... deeply ... disturbing. I've heard of water births, but really now...!!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJules

The baby on the bathroom floor could be there because there wasn't room for it, once the submarine started its ascent to the surface.
See? The "faucet" is actually a periscope. (Have you ever seen a spigot THAT big, in proportion to the size of that tub? Of course not. There you go.)
Suds, some water, and the baby have already been displaced; the baby's little orange T-shirt and green booties have already slid down the side of the cake...the duck and the rest of the water will follow soon. The cake will be ruined.
This was supposed to be a happy occasion.
It's always something!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Any one else think the baby in the bathtub looks like it is in a coffin? Yikes!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I'm not sure which is funnier, Jen's comments or the readers' comments!
Thanks for the laughs, guys! :D

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

"Splash... thump"

I don't think I've laughed that hard in YEARS!! I'm STILL wiping away tears over that one! My hat is off to you for the best caption ever!

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

Is it just me or does the second t last one look like a coffen??

November 17, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjenzizcool

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