My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Keen for Quinoa

Bakers, I think you need to see this.

This, my friends, is a turkey.


Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?

Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!


In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:


Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:

"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."


Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.

Like flamingos...


Or your least favorite cousin...


Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:

"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."


Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:

Honestly, it's uncanny.


Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!

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Reader Comments (63)

Oh no! my last colonoscopy result was better, FAR better than this cupcake.
PS. I have Crohns disease, my life involves ALOT of discussions about poop, Watching poop on cake makes me think there is hope for us, at least those who have crohns dont EAT the poop.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScifimom

That last "turkey" is made from soooo much icing. Sooooo much disgusting icing. ugh.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

"Gooble Gooble" !!!
I laughed so hard I think I may have hurt something! Plus I snorted.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBelanme

I was stewing in mild frustration and displeasure until-
"Gooble Gooble"

Yep. Cakewrecks has made my day again!!!!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

would have been so easy to change that "O" to a "B" !!!!! turkey cakes never look right!!!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlibby


November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The question mark on the fourth cake really sums it up.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergamingkitty

Wow. I know that turkeys with their own entrails on their heads make ME hungry.
Gooble? Isn't that what most people DO at Thanksgiving? GOOBLE GOOBLE! Oh wow, that's fun to say, new word for the day! Okay seriously, these turkeys are the perfect appetite suppressant for Thanksgiving...think that was the idea?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

The last cake is advertising for one of those new age animal sounds, cause 'gobble gobble' is so 1600's. We're redefining what we hear from animals more and more each day. For instance:

turkey - gooble gooble
cow - mou mou
dog - raff raff
cat - mrew mrew
owl - hoop hoop

I'm sure you could list a few more.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

Cal me crazy (seriously... everyone else does) but the second cake looks like Lady Gaga to me. Maybe Lady Gooble?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberj

I think the individual cupcake things were aiming for "Flying Spaghetti Monster".

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Anybody seen the movie Freaks? "Gooble gobble one of us!"

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

Gooble, gooble, dear Jen!!

Man, that uproarously huge, snorting laugh was definitely needed. Plus, I had to share with my coworkers the reason behind my should have some new followers now!!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

My turkey cakes are all crying inside.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Tooooooooooooo funny! BUT -- truth in advertising! These are all turkeys.......!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I am sooo glad you ended with the "Gooble Gooble" cake. (and the anti-social recluse comment!)

I don't think I would have been able to keep breakfast down if you had finished with the frizzy, poop-dripped turkey. I *hurk* think *hack* I'll *hurk* skip *hack* lunch....*runs to bathroom*

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

A "can-doo" attitude. Snork.

do you folks in Florida eat flamingos instead of turkeys because you don't really have cold weather? Maybe in 70 degree heat a flamingo just goes better with candied sweet potatoes.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

I've never seen a flamingo who looked like THAT. And if we had a cousin who ever showed up looking remotely like one of those cupcakes, odds are he or she wouldn't be invited to Thanksgiving.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

There is something about that third wreck that I kind of love. It's got a sort of a cthulhu/peacock/bush baby thing going on. I think it wants a hug!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Wide-eyed chickie, or
canned host of brain parasites?
Wattle it be, hm?


And from our favorite PBS show starring LeVar Burton:

Take a look!
I think the cook
is Bleeding Rainbows (Bleeding Rainbows!) . . .

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

So, since the flamingo head looks uncannily like a pinkish question mark, I vote that we take that idea and run with it.
To wit: put giant question marks in the place of the " heads" of ALL the other whatever-they-ares...basically saying, "Your guess is as good as mine!"
And why do these idiots always go for the rainbow-y display of garish colors on the tail? Look at that magnificent creature in the first photo; I see brown, black, and a creamy off-white. Very dignified, that.
Something to wonder about: IF the original pilgrims had arrived in Florida, would the flamingo have been the guest of honor that first Thanksgiving? I wouldn't have wanted to be the one to take it down--I heard that they can kick like a SOB.
Anybody know what they taste like?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

LOVE the Broad Breasted Bronze turkey picture! He looks JUST like our two - Thanksgiving and Christmas. Actually, he looks just like Christmas who's getting a "Thanksgiving pardon" this year. Thanksgiving has a crooked toe, not as long of a waddle, and well, there's no pardon for him, well, except for "pardon me, can you pass more turkey."

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNevadamtnbear

I just about barfed on my keyboard when I saw the colonoscopy cake!

Had a good giggle at the "cousin" cupcakes, though.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVJ

Your comment at the end "That's right, neighbors, who's the 'antisocial recluse' now?" cracks me up, mainly because it makes me think that's what they probably call me, too. Happily, though, I haven't communicated enough to find out.


November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranother recluse

Those all actually look like reasonable approximations of what a turkey would look like, well when rendered in cake and buttercream icing. Don't be so negative people, we can't all be fondant sculptors.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlice the Camel

Ok, as if ccc's didn't have enough frosting and weren't messy enough to eat, is that last turkey cake really a double-decker ccc? With the second layer sitting directly on top of the very thickly-frosted first layer? Talk about a mess!! What was that baker thinking?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

I was thinking of roasting a flamingo for Thanksgiving this year. Now that I've seen the cake, I know it's an acceptable turkey substitue. I'll let you know how it turns out.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I would eat that baby turkey. And it would be a big mess and I'd be on a sugar high for the whole day. But it would be good and I wouldn't feel about bout it at all. Yup, I would eat that baby turkey.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Seriously, the baby turkey cake makes me think Far Side comic:

Goobles only thought that looking at the baker with dewy-eyed adoration would save her from the Icing of Doom. <Splat!>

If I ever have a pet turkey I am sooooo naming it Goobles!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I thought those cupcakes were mutant crabs and were to be served as an appetizer--(Crab cakes?)

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

that first one reminds of the little chickenhawk that would torment Foghorn Leghorn.

#2 is psychedelic and wearing a blue wig.

shocked and bugeyed #3 looks like he's wearing an Indian headdress. did they dress him up befoer they kill him?

the flamingo is eiither in front of an exploding volcano or is in some sort of Showgirls type number complete with feather fan on his butt. or maybe that's the set.

gooble gooble everyone!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Oooh, I want that Bronze fellow in image #1. For my yard. He looks like he'd instill some respect around here by shouting "Goebbel! Goebbel!" and threatening to turn the disobedient into cupcake cakes ( patooie! patooie!)

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTurkeymom

@ Alice the Camel

I admire your charitable attitude!
But, Gawsh a mighty!! If you were aware of what some of these bakeries have the stones to CHARGE for what are (theoretically) PROFESSIONALLY-baked cakes, you might be a tad inclined to be a *negative people* yourself.
What you say is a "reasonable approximation of what a turkey would look like, well when rendered in cake and buttercream icing", I call a *reasonable approximation of what a turkey would look like when rendered in a cement mixer.*
But , to each his own!
(po TAY toe / po TAH toe)
We certainly "can't all be fondant sculptors." We aren't claiming to be--we're just laughing about these clowns who think they are!
This is funny/sad/disturbing stuff here...and we make fun of it all! I see it as an equal-opportunity bakery-bash.
We aren't laughing AT them; we're laughing WITH them.
Okay--that's definitely going too far--scratch that last line.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

@ another recluse:

Me three! Count me among the antisocial recli (recluses?). My neighbors would only be able to sight me if they wore camo and went out with military-issue nightvision goggles.
Because I go out to get the mail in the dark. Some of them stand in their picture windows and watch ALL the comings and goings like they're getting paid to do it. (Sigh)...haven't they got any (other) hobbies???

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

That's not a flamingo..thats a pea-mingo. looks like a terrible Dr. Moreau creation. Quick, get it to the secret island!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRosey

For the record: Tofurkey goes best with golden curry and root vegetables.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterReepicheep-chan

I sent you an amazing cookie cake last year with a hideous turkey that said "GOOBLE TIL YOU WOBBLE". I can't tell you how saddened I was to see that pitiful "gooble gooble" cake. Wobbling makes everything funnier.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbrislp

I laughed until Gooble Gooble....Then I snorted....That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersteph

My three-and-a-half-year old daughter identified them as follows:
1) owl
2) rainbow
3) splicky (when asked what that was, she said it was a germ)
4) no answer
5) no answer
6) mud cake
7) gobble

I was pretty impressed by #7 since she can't read, but I guess that's okay because the decorator can't spell. :)

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrushingtoread

Ah yes, nothing says Thanksgiving quite like a pile of poop turkey cake!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSweetyPie

I also thought of "Gooble gobble gooble gobble, We accept her. We accept her." from the movie Freaks, which is much more appetizing experience than looking at these cakes.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

Laughed til I cried and pulled something in my neck. Then had a coughing fit. Hooo!!! Good stuff! LMBO

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

After years of reading Cake Wrecks, I am extremely concerned. I had two friends ask if I could make them turkey cakes for next week. How do I tell them that turkey cakes almost always come out looking like poop cakes? Maybe I should forward them the link to this post and make them something else "thanksgiving-y" (gooble, gooble, perhaps?). Here's to poop-free turkeys!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLissie

You'd go hoarse at my house yelling "gooble gooble" at all the flamingos.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterev

Gooble Gooble? Sounds like it's been changed to "Poople Poople", didn't you get the memo?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterslartibartfast42

Yesterday when I was at the grocery store, I saw a cake that said, "Happy Lurkey Day." I was doing a little dance on the inside but then I was too scared to snap a picture. Gooble.

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChicken

Ok people. I really think there should be a moratorium on what characters can be put onto cupcakes: Cookie Monster? Yes! He's just basically a spiky blob of blue frosting with a cookie stuck in his mouth. Most other things I've seen?? an emphatic NO. Are you with me???

Anyhow, Jen is hilarious, and you commenters just add to the hilarity!!!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLetitia

I honestly think one of them was an owlurkey...

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

"For the record: Tofurkey goes best with golden curry and root vegetables."
I know that tofurkey is made out of tofu (I recall my daughter having that one year with some vegetarian roommates), but what I can't remember is: was it shaped into something resembling an actual turkey? Or what.
And what is it flavored with?

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~anamorous~

Gooble Gooble y'all ! may be my new Thanksgiving greeting!

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

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