My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

No Accounting For Taste

Hey, did you know that the income tax deadline here in the U.S. has been pushed back 'til Monday?

(I'll pause here to allow those of you whooping for joy to catch your breath.)

Well, if you're like me, this means you might want to get started on your taxes sometime today, or this weekend, or maybe even Monday morning. After all, as a wise man once said, "[remember to insert procrastination quote before post goes up]!"

So, in our eternal quest to help you readers in the most sincere way possible using funny cakes, here is a complete, comprehensive guide for doing your taxes.

Step 1. Mix 2 ounces ea. of vodka, tequila, rum and gin - with a splash of Coke - and drink immediately.

Repeat until thoroughly snockered.
(Note: if a poo-shaped fountain explodes from drink, you're doing it right)

Step 2. Pull shoebox of receipts from laundry hamper and take wild guess as to how much you spent last year.

(Be sure to deduct the sale price of those "Guccis.")

Now add a zero.

This is your Adjusted Gross Expenditure Allowance Total Income Bracket, Article 1. Write this number down somewhere. Preferably on something that won't run off.

Step 3. Calculate the number of dependents in your household.

This can include children, imaginary friends, other people's children, other people's imaginary friends' children, pets, favorite CDs, and certain plants. Refer to Article J, Paragraph 42, Section 3.14159 on "Ficus Financials," for more information.

Step 4. Write down all information in a legible manner:

If you're not sure about one of your figures, just put it in quotes:

This shows the IRS you're just "guess-timating." They're totally cool with that.

Step 5. Go to the nearest ATM and empty your checking account, savings account, and pockets. This is what you owe.

It's always a good idea to send your payment in cash, and stuck to a cupcake. The IRS enjoys playful pranks like this, and will doubtless credit your account several hundred dollars in exchange for the laugh.

Well, we hope you've enjoyed our comprehensive tax guide. Now, if you need us, we'll just be vacationing somewhere you've never heard of outside U.S. jurisdiction.

A big thanks to Jacob L., Kelli, Anne B., Heather, Emily and Becky L., for their taxing treats.

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Reader Comments (61)

I had no idea it was pushed back until Monday. That's crazy.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Boob Nazi

Oh my goodness...the baby/dog/cryptic creature of some sort made me spit my morning tea on the computer...I'm sure my boss won't appreciate that :)

WV: sentin
Oh my goodness, I hope the poo-rocket fountain isn't sentin!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Holy crap this is the funniest blog on the planet. PERIOD!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

That first poo rocket cake might look good AFTER you drank all of that.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlaughingmom

Thank you so much for the tax advice! I had no idea I had been doing so wrong for all of these years!!! Next year, I will bribe them with a CCC THAT should earn me BIG points! :P

wv: sumsemi - Sumsemi as a cake lover, and sumsemi as a blog lover, and sumsemi not at all. :P

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Purple poo on a strawberry cake? Epic

wv: Shiess - formal spelling of "sheesh"

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Hahaha thank you so much for the laugh as I try to figure out my taxes!!! i thought that first one was tnt, but the poop thing is WAY better. still laughing...

still laughing...

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

I love that you snuck in a Pi reference!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

Nice pi reference! =]

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

Make sure your "vacation spot" doesn't have an extradition treaty. Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthesacredandtheprofane

Here's a good website with several procrastination quotes:
:) Great post, as always! What the heck is that first cake supposed to be, anyway? Soda can? Firecracker? The world may never know.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Your description is spookily similar to how I actually do my taxes. That guesstimating thing works great!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

As a CPA, I am loving this post! I love the clients with the shoe boxes of receipts. So true. I wish they had left the deadline at April 15th. Now I have three extra days of insanity this year.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

The only thing that intrigued me today was the Wacky Cash on the cupcake. Ulysses S. Grant says, "What do I eat for breakfast every day?" "Answer on back."

What's the answer?

Sharon's Edible Art

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I have a imaginary friend his name is Rollo he does my taxes for me

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterninja dude 11

WV: Ciall---I laugh every time I ciall the cakes on cakewrecks. I heart Jen and John!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy W.

Tracy c I don't just love them I stalk them(through cake wrecks)

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterninja dude 11

"[remember to insert procrastination quote before post goes up]!"


April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Hehe too bad it's not that easy

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That made me laugh loud enough to scare the dog/baby/dependent/imaginary cat/ficus plant.

Can I please have a cupcake with cash on it now? Pleeease?

wv: musho -- musho grashiash to Jen for another awesomely instructive post!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeftWingLock

Today is Emancipation Day, a holiday that is only observed in DC. This is the reason the tax deadline is now Monday. How's about some Emancipation day cakes!
(crickets chirping)
WHAT?!?! A holiday without cakes?
This is not happening to me...
I vow to not file my taxes until such cake is found.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Thank you for the tax advice.

In return, I'd like to be the first to say that the thing on that first cake looks like a big bloody Epcot.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Sharon sez:
'The only thing that intrigued me today was the Wacky Cash on the cupcake. Ulysses S. Grant says, "What do I eat for breakfast every day?" "Answer on back."

'What's the answer?'

Sharon, how can you not know the answer? His breakfast is right under the play money.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Umm the Gucci cake looks nasty and wet... there is no way I would eat that one...

and what was the first cake supposed to be???

Filed my taxes a month ago, now I will sit back and watch everyone else in panic mode... *kicks legs up on desk, folds hand behind head, lean back* aaaaahhhhhh... Happy Friday!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo You!

ha ha!! ( that first pic is of a stick of dynamite, although the drink is much funnier..)

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMama-Beans

@ Sharon, had two different answers:
Anything with whiskey
Cucumbers soaked with vinegar

I think the "legible" cake says Happy Birthday Sarah (I have to decipher handwriting like that at work).

wv: plycha: Are these all wrecks? You plycha!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

If its that easy to Do taxes I have no fear of growing up and besides when I have to Do them we will probably just have robots that do them for us

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterninja dude 11

I did my taxes over a year ago!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHomer S.

Procrastination is the essence of my stress...that and the IRS.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go clean off my computer screen now.

wv: hancind - after a few poo fountain drinks, I shink ever-on ish hancind!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

That first cake looks like a used feminine hygiene product.. bleh! These cakes are hilariously awful!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

I thought for a second that maybe what the IRS needs is cupcakes. But then I realized that if I worked for the IRS, I know there's no way I would any cupcake sent to me by taxpayers.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first image is like a snake nut can, only with something fouler.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

#1 I too thought 'firecracker' until I read the commentary; now I can't unsee Jen's explanation. Thanks loads.

#2 Gucci shoeboxes are made of styrofoam? Looks like that cake is, anyway -- very exclusive.

#3 Another way to beat the sys... er, 'reduce your taxes legally' is to donate to the Committee to Ban CCC's. Patooie.

#4 'Strange Birthday Janale'? Anyone get any closer? I'm no baker, but I'm thinking maybe the piping bag was missing something. That's my tip for the day.

#5 Look, if you want to keep claiming Ruby as a dependent, just let her be "20" for another year; "3" is kind of obvious. Leave it to some extraneous quote specialist to come up with balloons that don't look (much) like 'swimmers'.

#6 Bribing people to take CCC's? The Committee isn't amused.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Oh my, I am loving these cakes. I am pretty sure they were all hits... in their own way! haha

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa McRae

How gross is it that when I saw the first pic, I thought "Oh, ew... that looks like a tampon"?

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I love the narrative here! I don't even need to put it in quotes, because I am quite sure.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

If you can't find a pen, just find a tube of toothpaste to write with, as demonstrated in step 4.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"As a wise man once said, Why put off till tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely?"


April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

"Ficus Financials" make me laugh so hard!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSay g'night, Gracie

I'd need a few drinks in me before that poo-rocket cake looked good enough to eat!

wv: whampu - n. Super-volumizing shampoo for released by the group Wham in the 80's. "Using Whampu makes my hair feel clean and ready to go-go!"

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

Is it just me, or does the cake in Step 4 look rather as though a smurf with Diverticulitis got at it?

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I saw a pirate hook in that first cake- amidst multi-colored "little swimmy things."

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

For the record, the ad that showed up in my feed with this post was an ACTUAL tax advice service!

Maybe they just didn't realize how awesome your advice was...

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I thought the first one looked more like a bloody tampon.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I do taxes everyday for other people, and this post made me giggle out loud! My boss even looked at me funny. So that's a plus. :) Thank you for being so awesome!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacica

Thanks, Robin, for letting us know that it is Emancipation Day. I had HEARD that there was some sort of holiday, and I WONDERED what it was, but I wasn't even going to BOTHER to look it up. You have saved me probably twos of moments of worrying about this. And, now I can tell everyone else, "I bet you don't even know what holiday is today. Humph, read a paper sometimes, jeez." All this superiority is making me tired. I'm going to take a nap.

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

Looks like, on the first one, someone was this close *holds up thumb and pointer finger* to keeping down the worm at the bottom of the bottle.

That play money looks like it may have been burried at some point...ick.


April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahahahahahahaha thanks for the great laugh!

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

Geez if I had known doing your own taxes was that easy I would have stopped paying someone to do them for me years ago!

WV: manessa

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoyce

Happy Emancipation Day! And, in Massachusetts, we get another day's grace, thanks to Monday's Patriots' Day (no relation to the football team, honest - it's the anniversary of the "Shot Heard 'round the World" - at the Battle of Lexington/Concord).

Merry at Annie's Book Stop/Sharon, MA

April 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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