My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

We Don't Need No Lava Soap, Pope

All everyone seems to be talking about right now is the new Pope, so I feel duty-bound to bring you some relevant cakes and punny commentary.

There's a new Pope in town - DON'T CROSS HIM.


I know, I know; that was terrible. Crappy, even. Here, let me see what else I've got ...

[searching wrecks]

Ok, so it turns out I have no Pope cakes. Who knew? Maybe everyone's making them today, and I'll have a big influx of funny hat cakes tomorrow? (Fingers crossed!) 

Ah, but I *do* have communion cakes, and those are kind of Pope-y, right?


 "Camunicen" must be one of the more obscure sacraments.


You won't think this next one is quite so terrible when I tell you the writing was done using nothing but those little squeeze packets of ketchup:


 I'll be lying when I tell you that, though, so maybe you should go ahead and keep thinking it's terrible.


I think this is supposed to be a Bible:

If so, then this bakery deserves to have the (good) book thrown at them.


Ever wonder what happens when a baker's ego gets SERIOUSLY out of control? 


Huh. And here I didn't know Donald Trump even liked cake decorating.


I do have a few more related wrecks, but I'm pretty sure if I posted them I'd start a holy war in the comments of Epcotian proportions.

In related news, would it surprise you to learn that I have not one, not two, but FOUR DIFFERENT CAKES shaped like the head of Jesus wearing the crown of thorns? And one shaped like Him bleeding on the cross? Because I do, people. THOSE CAKES EXIST. I feel sacrilegious just looking at them.

Thankfully I can turn to the patron saint of butchered shamrocks for comfort, though. And also for laughs.


Ok, mostly laughs.


Thanks to Shannon H., Stephanie C., Vicky H., Darla D., Shannon U., & Allison K., who shall henceforth be singing this jingle every time they see the Pope on TV. YOU'RE WELCOME.

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Reader Comments (64)

Methinks there shall be some smiting of wreckorators soon O_o

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I think the translation on the second cake is wrong. It should be "cammunian" which everyone knows is a celebration of Nyan cat which uses pop-tart pieces and chocolate milk.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDelphine

You're going to show us the Jesus/thorn cakes at some point, right? Cuz it's wrong to tease us like that.

The shamrock tree is...interesting and easily confused for something really inappropriate and not usually seen in nature.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie T

It's a "Bible" cake
and these are "herb" cupcakes, bro,
errrr, Brother in Christ.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Inb4 (or possbily after) "Lighten up, Francis.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Ok, so first I have to say that there might be multiple Jesus-head cakes because (as I read on the inter-webs) he was a shape shifter and perhaps they represent the many forms he was shifty into. So yeah...

Anyway. I think that the ketchup thing might come in handy around April 1st. I have such an unsuspecting family...

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

As an atheist with 18 years of Catholic school (1st grade through graduate school) behind me, I feel qualified to say, "Really? Bleeding, crown of thorns, crucified Jesus cake? Seriously? How tasteless, tacky, profane, sacrilegious and just plain awful can you get? I'll bet the people who make, order and/or eat such cakes believe God loves them best."

I wish the new Pope luck and I look forward to seeing many funny hat cakes tomorrow...and red shoe cakes, I love red shoes!


March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

As a Catholic, I agree that these are wrecks.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

...and yeah, I really want to see one of those bleeding, crown of thorns, crucifixion Jesus cakes.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

It's so obvious.
They're not herb cupcakes. Clearly
dinosaur footprints.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Marnie, I don't think it's merely wrong, it's downright SINFUL to taunt us like that. Honestly, if people are willing to eat pregnant mommy cakes with babies, bleeding jeesuses (jeesusii?) should be a ... piece of cake.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDavid from Brazil

I am always amazed when I come here. You would think since CakeWrecks is fairly well-known, these atrocities would stop happening. But then, we would be sad with nothing to ridicule. Anyway, Happy Pi Day everyone!!!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

1.) "Epcotian" = Awesome

2.) I can't even buy the white chocolate crosses they sell at Easter at Walgreens. Sure, I love that there's an attempt to make Easter about Jesus (imagine that!). But something about EATING a cross feels weird and wrong. I'm sure in cake (or even cupcake cake!) form it's infinitely more disturbing.

3.) It took a minute before I saw the word "I" on the fifth cake. I kept re-reading the caption to figure out what I was missing. When finally saw it I almost had a NAFW snorting, laughing fit. The commentary really makes that one! :)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Your commentary brings back fond memories of a Robin Williams appearance on the Tonight Show in the late 1980s, right before Chrismas. Johnny Carson just let him unwind. One of his jokes involved the new shower soap for Catholics, "Pope on a rope." (Sorry, I couldn't find it on YouTube.)

These wreckorators need to repent for their sins. Especially the one who made the St. Patrick's Day. . . .thing.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Haikujoy ahahaha

Jen, we need a pie wreck-HOW could you forget it's Pi day D:

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm disappointed in you, Jen. I thought surely the ultimate geek girl would know that it's Pi Day and mention the fact in today's post. But...nothing? (So, yes, I'm calling you 'Shirley'. Deal with it.)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Ye Gods.

Even without the terrible handwriting, all those caminucen cakes are just awful.

I'm not even going to mention the poop crosses, they're too upsetting.

And who - WHO - thought 'I know, Jesus wearing his crown of thorns / dying on the cross would make a splendid subject for a cake'?? That's not normal, people. Not normal at all.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I totally sing "Ladies' hands don't get that dirty!" every time my hands get especially messy.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercheryl_hiccups

I thought it was only Chicago that was going "Pope Crazy".

Anyway, another ROTFLMAO day at Cake Wrecks!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

there's still my pic with St Nick's unintentional "boobies"; he kinda looks like a pope, right? ;)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristine


March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda M

@Amanda M For The Win!!!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

My dear Haiku Joy,
You were right on the first try
Unless dinos smoked.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSammay

That's not a Bible. Well, not the whole thing, anyway. Probably just one or two of the short books. 2 & 3 John? (1 John is a few pages, at least.)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

True story. I can't make this up. I bolted upright from my grading table and ran to the computer to share this with you.

Test question for one bonus point: What is the most important characteristic of a researcher? (Answer: curiosity.)
Student answer: plagiarism.


March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Correction: Habemus Poop!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

Not only is there no pi day mention, but last year's pie day mention was an afterthought. FOR SHAME!!! Pi day cakes will have their day!!! Although the Pope cakes were interesting. :)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCat

Haiku joy, you have your work cut out for you :P

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

For this tan spaceship,
the telephone cord plus sign,
we give thanks, o cake.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Haiku Joy:

Ten to one your student is not only a plagiarist his (or her) self but a sci-fi reader. That answer comes from Robert Heinlein.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

What about Pi DAY?

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermathgeek

Obligatory Epcotian reference (although not on the expected subject): What, no Pi wrecks?! Not even a pie?! Not even Pyrex?!

@Haiku Joy, that student should get some sort of recognition. Maybe "Cynic of the Year" or perhaps the coveted "Most in Touch With Reality" award. Of course researchers should have curiosity, but most seem most curious about what researchers who continue to be funded have found. It's safer to say, "the science is settled," (as though truth is mere consensus) than to produce data that refuses to submit to The Theory without a lot of torturing.

Good point, @M. Dale.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Pi day. :(

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Are we sure that the 'Bible' isn't the Tablets of the Law of Moses?

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

When I was in Rome, I bought a bobble head Pope Benedict XVI. Looks like I'll have to go back to pick up one of the new guy.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Reading these comments, it seems forgetting Pi Day has started your war of Epcotian proportions.

Of course, for those of us outside the US who write dates in logical order, we read and think 'Pi day? What? 14/3 isn't Pi....'

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDanS

I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how one would actually pronounce Epcotian. o.O

My job changed a little so I have less time to plan on here with you guys :-( But I have more responsibilities plus more hours and more $$$ so sacrifices must be made.

Glad you're back Craig! Barbara Anne, you've been pretty quiet?
Haiku Joy, that answer is kind of awesome actually. But then again, what do I know. I made up stories in English class instead of doing assignments. :-)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

This blog ROCKS! I love it so much. It makes my day just a bit brighter. Thank you!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMellissa Rose

Ok, @DanS, July 22. But it isn't as precise. Super Pi day is March 14, 2015, or 3.14.15, at 9:26 local time.

I meant to ask earlier: What does an aerial view of a landslide onto a park have to do with St. Patrick's day?

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

All I came here for was Pi Day. And pi wrecks. How can you have let me down so brutally?

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJo

I soooo wanted to see you pull out the Pyrex picture again. Lol

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

*hands Jen a yo-yo* Go play, I've got this.

Listen up people! The site is called C A K E wrecks. Say it with me - Caaaaaake. It is not Pie wrecks. Or pyrex. Or the "I Like Pie" site. Or Pie Lovers Anonymous. Cake and Pie are not the same thing. I know, that's hard for some people to grasp, but it's true! If you invited me to your house for some cake, and you served me pie... I'd eat the pie, but I'd be grumbling the entire time, maybe even whining about how much better cake is than pie, it would depend on the type of pie you served, cause really if it had chocolate mousse in it I'd probably propose marriage right there on the spot. But I digress.

My point is... well, I've forgotten my point. You're all invited to my place for some cake.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

My response on the Pi-Epcotian fiasco-- "Pi Day-- didn't we just do that a couple months ago?"
Cue excommunication from geek community.
(Nice tie in to both themes, eh?)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

the "shamrock" cake looks like Adam's fig leaf was a wee bit too small

@Haiku Joy that particular student will do well in political science and run the country one day- mark my words!

(waves cheerily) Hi, Jodee! Glad for the new opportunities for you and we'll save your spot! ;)

Did someone mention Pi?

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Enough about Pi day. Today was my birthday, you don't hear ME complaining about the lack of acknowledgment do you? Well... ok, maybe a little.

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Happy Birthday @Fluffy Cow!!!
@Degera ~ Will you be serving ice cream too? I have some Mocha Almond Fudge in the freezer I can bring to share! It's waaaaay yummy!!!

Thanks @Barbara Anne :-) I'm feelin' the love!

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Oh, if you think Jesus head cakes are sacrilegious....

A friend of mine wants to make white chocolate Jesus figures filled with raspberry or strawberry cremes or jams. He would package it with a little pin of sorts so you could make your own stigmata. Product name and motto? "Sweeeeeeeet Jesus! It's sacrilicious!" us the cakes. :-)

March 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

Happy birthday, @Fluffy Cow!

@Degera, john(thoJ) started the whole 'Pyrex' thing. Besides, it's not as though we're serious. Well, not completely serious, anyway. It's just that Jen is the, mistress of all things geeky, and many (you know who you are) look to her for their daily geek fix.

As for me, I am NOT going in that room again. Theardare... Nice kitty... [Uses Unsee Machine] Where am I now, Mr. Assault Kitty? Ha-HA!

[Theardare pipes Rick Astley into P.A.]

March 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Lol please I beg you don't show the Jesus cake wrecks.. I don't want the nightmares anymore. Those poop crosses are enough to make me go bleh at ever going near cupcakes again.

March 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

You need a secondary secret site only viewable once a vow is made by viewer to NOT be offended....then you can post all the ones that you hold back on.....LOL

March 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

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