My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Our Days Are Numbered

After all the doom and gloom on the news lately, and watching the roller coaster ride that is our stock market (Ok, less "roller coaster," and more "log flume drop") yesterday John and I were happy to receive a "cheer up, it could be worse!" call courtesy of our fine government.

Actually, the call may have been more like, "Cheer up, it's about to get worse," but the upshot is we're being audited.

Don't worry, though - hey, we're not! In fact, I have a sure fire plan for dealing with auditors that simply cannot fail.

Firthly, you need a good numbers system:

Sixndly, you want to make sure all your numbers are written legibly: 

 This is either a 6, 9, comma, or apostrophe. Or a wormhole singularity. Which, given our filing system, is probably the most likely.

 Ermmm...Italy. Final answer.

To maintain a casual and friendly atmosphere, be sure to call the auditor "a # '2'" whenever possible:

That'll wipe out any irregular feelings of stopped-up hostility, and move things along in a more loose and relaxed manner. Remember, if your auditor is irritabowel, you could have a real crap shoot on your hands.


It's also really important to get your dates right: 

I trust this has a long shelf life.


And finally, if any of your numbers don't add up, remember: you can always make new ones!


Squiggle g pi is mine, though - go get your own new numbers.


Thanks to my number fun wreckporters Jen G., Hilary L., Joshua K., Alyson, Krista and Katherine. And don't worry, guys; it's just a government insurance audit. How bad can it be?

Note: Please don't answer that.


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Reader Comments (77)

stopped up irregularity... right there is why I continue to return here time and time again - can icing be made from Metamucil?

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTisforTonya

And the correct answer is Italy. How could anyone doubt that, complete with the Italian Riviera.


August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Drink Ladies

The way things are going, some of my students won't graduate until 20011.

Good night and don't forget to tip your waitress.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy'sMom

Put that "6, 9, comma, or apostrophe" cake next to the "cooling towers" cake shown last week, and you have a frightening look into the future.

Now doesn't a nuclear meltdown resulting in grinning mutant fish make an audit seem like a day at the beach?

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Is that a toilet paper spool on the six/nine/apostrophe cake?????

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

That third one looks like it should be in the bad baby shower category as a sperm. Your site is my daily dose of laughter and joy. Please keep it going.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMLA

I love how the tassel on the 20011 cake looks like a little man, seeing the number and bowing his head in shame.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Why don"t the bakers just get rid of the cakes when they see a mistake, or when a cake turns out completely wrong?!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterthomas

...but...WHY is the wormhole singularity sucking in random plastic flotsam and a photo of the Doom of the Golden Gate Bridge? Then again, maybe that's what it looks like inside the mind of a wreckorater.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAron

The cake with the Golden Gate bridge photo is probably supposed to depict the bay, not a number or punctuation. See the little fishy in the middle of the blue. The picture is at the mouth of the bay. Still a wreck but not a numbers wreck.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterplm

I remember you putting up uncensored R-rated cakes because you could get away with that. Now I can't find that post. I must have weird dreams.

[Editor's note] Nope, Thalia. We've been relatively squeaky clean since the very beginning. For example, this was just two months after Jen started the blog: The First Censored Cake Wreck

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThalia

About #4... I really want to play that golf course. At least that's what it looks like to me.

Also, my need to replace wv has led me to googling random nonsense word generators. So...

Faux wv: Patraced

These bakers patraced through English grammar and slowed down (some) for esthetics.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

I am still a little choked up over the "squiggle g pi" lmao!!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTonja

That last one looks like g to the pi power. Approximately.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChris S.

Squiggle g pi is going to have me laughing all day!!!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

it's a shame they wrecked that dino cake. the dino was very cute. it was so nearly not a wreck.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentervampje

Never ask how bad... the universe simply cannot resist that question!
Now I won't be able to rest until I ask my son-in-law the cpa.
As a mathematician I LOVE squiggle g pi ~ I shall be smiling ALL day, Thank you!!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren.Valinda

Squiggle g pi is cracking me up too! :D

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

Omistars - flippin' brilliant post. Thanks SO much for the morning laugh. Visiting your site always brightens my day!

Happy Birthday, dear Ben,
It’s incomprehensible,
But you’re A # “2”,
Our dear little pencil…

* * *

Squiggle g dee,
Squiggle g diii,
Happy Birthday dear Courtland,
You’re finally squiggle g pi….

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I count 15 candles on that last cake. I'm assuming the decorator was shooting for '9' with the number. Something doesn't quite add up.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterK

Squiggle g pi is the best! Good luck with your new number system and the tax man!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

OMG! i was like, why is that nine to the pi(th) power. that doesn't make sense. because, that would be a little over 729 years old. or maybe they meant months and wanted to say this is how many months old you are which is actually just roughly 60..... and then you said squiggle g pi. which made me almost fall out of my chair with laughter because that is waaaaaay better than 9 to the pi(th)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTerrs

Maybe 20011 is a zipcode instead of a year. "Congrats students from NW Washington, DC even though there's not a high school in your zip code!!"

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermarybindc

Just remember during your audit: Admit NOTHING, Deny EVERYTHING, and throw in some counter accusations for good measure. (Glad to be of help!) :)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Isn't the squiggle an "approximately" sign? So it's "approximately" g/9 to the power of pi. Makes perfect sense. According to my calculations this makes them (approximately) 28.285715285714285714285714285714285714285714

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpinkfizzy

Squiggle g pi -- that is what I am going to say the next time somebody asks my age. It sounds much younger than 64.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEvie_M

Ok, I really thought that the tassle on the 20011 cake WAS, like Gandalf or some Harry Potter wizard til I read Naomi's comment...

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPreacher Spice

Yes, on that last one the age is only an approximation! Although I'm not sure how many years "g" is to begin with!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkaisee

"Squiggle, nine, Pi" made me snort my wheaties. Thanks.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDD

I had to scroll back up after Naomi's comment to discover that maybe it is a tassel and not a little man. But "squiggle g pi" -- I think it was a math teacher who made that wreck. Because I've surely seen stranger things while grading papers. :-)

wv: I guess i'll have to make up my own wv, to prove I'm not a Spam Bot. So, how about.... um...
nevermind. I guess I might be a spam bot after all. :-)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

"Squiggle g pi is mine, though - go get your own new numbers."

Hahaaa..*snort*..hahaa! That was 1000x funnier than the wrecks today! :0D

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErika

Obviously the "Class of 20011" cake is an order from the people of the future. You can never place your order too early

Hope the baker has a Delorean to deliver it! ;P

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

I love Cake Wrecks but I'm all about the Power of Pi! It's okay if I swing both ways like that, right?

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPee Jay

I share Aron's horror. WTF is up with the disaster pic of the Golden Gate?

My mind is duly boggled.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

ha! @Naomi: I though the little man had used a noose.....out of shame. I guess I'm a little morbid some days.....

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleP

about the 20011 cake: maybe it's made of Twinkies?? lol

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSueP

Thanks, I needed that laugh today!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJaki Mc

20011 Is the Doctor's cake!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterS

On " This is either a 6, 9, comma, or apostrophe. Or a wormhole singularity. " Its the san francisco bay, and that picture of the Golden Gate is placed, sorta, where it would be on the bay. LOL

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterE Oneill

Sorry, I am going to steal your number for whenever people ask me how old I am.

"How old am I this year? Oh, squiggle gee nine pi."


August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTimba

"Oh, and could you put a number two on it? Thanks."
People need to be thinking a little more carefully about how they word their orders. Or not. We do need the laughs.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShawnette F

ok, I'm up now after ROTFL....especially about being audited by someone who's "irritabowel"!!! We were audited in 2009 by our wonderful state board of equalization. The poor man who showed up had some sort of tummy issue 'cuz he was pale and used our bathroom about 50 times in the 3 hours he was with us and it wasn't #1......pee yew. I bleached every surface of that room when he left!!!

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjoylovefun

Did nobody else notice that the 6/9/apostrophy cake was from Monsters VS Aliens? The mutant looking fish is Insectosaurus. Near the top is BOB (Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate) and the other green character is The Missing Link. The bridge was wrecked in the great battle between the Monsters who are helping the govt and an evil alien overlord who hopes to take over Earth.
I do not know the significance, however of 6/9/apostrophy.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWaggytail

Did anyone else think of Colin Firth when they saw cake #1? I'm drooling and it's not for want of frosting. Mmmmm :)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

On the dinosaur cake: Perhaps the parents were trying to say that Ben is a little sh*t. I know I wanted to call my kids that on occasion. Not really appropriate for their birthday though. ;-)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati

Did you know you got all the numbers wrong here? What gives?

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBernadette

After reading the comments I had to look back. I, too, thought the tassel was a little depressed graduate, hanging his head in shame (as Naomi said.) It's definitely a tassel, but I like it better the other way, so I'm going to stick with that.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I think that cowboy is pretty cute, even if his creator is illiterate.

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

The dinosaur was cute! Looks to me the parents were trying to say "Our number 2", so I'm glad that the decorator wrecked it (maybe deliberately?) so the kid can be first (in wrecks, at least) on his birthday!

"irritabowel" -- love it!

20011: I know some places have a long waiting list, but that's getting ridiculous. Or maybe the parents were making a point about how long it took Junior to finish?

Squiggle g pi… brilliant. Although my math has 9-to-the-3.1415926… = 995. Which, while a good long life, still isn't long enough to graduate in 20011. And if that's months, that's 82.9. Then again, don't rely on me for math skills. EVER.

As for your audit… um, yeah, I can see that listing under "occupation", "mocks cakes" as raising a few eyebrows to the uninitiated! If the auditors are particularly stubborn and a link to this site doesn't do the trick, I'm sure you can scare up a few hundred, thousand, or more of us to enthusiastically say "we ♥ Cake Wrecks". If it's any help, I've worked with auditors and accountants who have fabulous senses of humour so may you get their American equivalents :)

August 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

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