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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Send Up the Jolly Roger!

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, but rather than plunder the script of the Disney Pirates ride like I usually do, I've decided to instead look at that most iconic of piratey things: the Jolly Roger. 

Now, the Jolly Roger is usually a skull and crossbones on a black flag:


But when recreated on a cookie: becomes a petrified Scottish Terrier.

Or maybe a French Poodle. Or German Shepherd. Irish Wolfhound? Oh! Norwegian Ridgeback! English Bulldog!!



For those less canine-inclined, there's also this option:

Those look like some real fun guys. Dude. 


Here's one that'll strike fear in the hearts of witches and wizards everywhere:

No bones about it: There is now a Dark Mark on this bakery's record. Tsk, tsk.


And if you think that'd be better without all the airbrushing...

You'd be right.

But it also kind of looks like a moose.


And finally, my personal favorite:

The Jolly Roger from American Dad.




Relax; I'm sure he means you no harrrrrrm.


Thanks to Alana F., Cheryl L., Melissa F., Roxanne B., & Robin H. for all the pirated material. Now, chocolate moose, anyone?

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Reader Comments (51)

Definitely not a Norwegian Ridgeback. Those look more like a wrecky pirate parrot.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLorien

the norwegian ridgeback is a dragon from the harry potter series. the dog most similarly named is the rhodesian ridgeback :) though I think either is a good comparison!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranna

that last one looks more like an alien than a jolly roger- do Scully and Mulder know about this?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Norwegian Ridgeback! Named Norbert, by any chance?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

He's very very short on... charrrrm!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeccaess

All they need to do is write "Roswell" under the X on that last cake, and it becomes "X marks the spot for the alien landing." But that would be for "talk like an alien day," I guess. Klaatu barada nikto.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'd like to start my first Epcot, please:
Shepherd - German Shepherd.
Thank you.

[Editor's note- Thanks DBM. Good ketch.- john]

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDBM

It's the asgard Loki's attempt to fit into Earth pirate culture!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenteranon

I don't understand why the skull on the "plain" jolly roger would be brown?! The crossbones are white, so I'm not sure where they got that colored skull. Oh why am I wasting time trying to understand that mess? The baker obviously didn't spend any real on time on it, so why should I?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye Matey!" :D (It helps if you say it out loud ;) )

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRachel H.

Seriously, is there ANY situation than cannot be improved upon with a quote from The Princess Bride?

"Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?"

"If there are, we all be dead."

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwinsomebulldog

Oh my gosh. I seriously just snorted snot out of my nose over the last one.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh no! It's not Cowboys vs. Aliens! Now it's Pirates vs. Aliens.


September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

The last cake looks like it would be on Men's Room door at the alien autopsy lab. The Women's room would have had a skirt below the "X".

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrasstax

What is that baby's name? From here it looks like Gasador, but I'm hoping that's not right.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

A Møøse once bit my sister ...

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

At least they didn't try and do the flag of the Queen Anne's Revenge, AKA Blackbeard's Flagship, where the skeleton is menacing a heart.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

He's really very short on charm!

I love all your Princess Bride references!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDestinie

There's something about gray frosting - I just cannot eat it. Someone had a gray coffin cake for their 50th and I was almost nauseous. Talk about psychosomatic. lol

Does that 3rd "cake" (and I use the term loosely) say "Happy Birtleday, Ethan"? Maybe that, uh... "cake" isn't really an embarrassing attempt at pirate pastry but is actually some kind of official delicacy found only in Manitoba? Sort of like a Canadian King Cake?


Anybody want a peanut?

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate in St. Louis

I believe the baby's name is Gavin

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeona

Fezzini, he likes to fuss....

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Ahoy me hearties! Blow me down, these cakes belong in Davy Jones' locker. And the landlubbin' decorators should be made to walk the plank. Yo ho ho!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Emma, that would be a Norwegian Ridgeback named Norberta ;)

Cake #4 looks like 4 fried drumsticks in a pile.

I want chicken now.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBadCookie

(Presumably) edible item #1: The Norwegian Ridgeback prefers kippin' on it's back! Lovely plumage. Do you want Bichon Frise with that? (Yes, I know it doesn't work if you say it aloud. Work with it, ok?)

#2 I see 'Gomin'. At least the ordinal is right for a change -- decorator must be new.

#3 The green skull-and-crossbones is a universal symbol for 'poison'. Or CCCs. Same thing.

#4 It does look like a moose, with extra antlers. I don't think they used enough frosting, though -- I can still see some cupcake bravely showing through.

#5 Looks like a pirated copy of ET.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Jessie - if it's pirates vs aliens, does that leave the cowboys fighting the ninjas? This could be fantastic...

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat

"Piratey things" - love the PWDDA reference!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

Princess Bride, Harry Potter and Pirates all in one post! I love you! (In a not-creepy, caketastic way.)

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPam from FL

Does that baby's cake say "Happy 1st Birthday...Gumby?" And why, oh why is Pablo the Penguin from "The Backyardigans" perched next to him and sporting a pirate hat, something he doesn't normally wear? I'm so lost...

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

What's a pirate's favourite part of a library? The AAARRRRchives.

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon B

I'm so glad that everyone has already commented about the Princess Bride reference. I specifically looked at the comments because if someone hadn't already, I was going to be upset... and then I was going to reference it.

So: Bravo to all the previous commenters!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElissa / Big Blog of Crock

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"...

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Everyone making the comments has been sacked!

We now move onto to a new theme and motive at twice the cost!

September 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

AARRGH! To put our two doubloons in; the wee dogs are West Highland Terriers (Westies) wearing lovely red Tam 'o Shanters, at the ready to thwart any pirate marauders.
@Kate -the four antlered moose is rarely seen these days, due to the loss of its natural habitat being taken over by The Last Saskatchewan Pirate

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Actually...Scottish Terriers are black. West Highland Whites are well, white. So maybe those cupcakes are what you get when you cross breeds? X_x Darn it, now I have Adam and the Ants' Jolly Roger stuck in my head....

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertracy

Ahoy mateys! I love the cakes, aaaand LOL'd over the comments! Learned some nice pirate jokes today, and had to think of monty python's the holy grail. What a great start of my day (in holland it's morning right now...)

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPien

LOVE the HP references!!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersarah

I love the minimalist approach to the last one. A+, wreckerator, A+!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess

The cookie totally does look like my dog, which is a white scottish terrier!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Love how the moose (yes it absolutely looks like a moose) has a cleft chin. Maybe its a hunky superhero moose? There's the comic con character of the future!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberj

Norwegian Ridgeback FTW!
He's really very short on chaaarrm.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

Ha ha ha ha ha, Norweigen Ridgeback!, Harrrm!.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOrual

WTF, do they even know what a pirate flag LOOKS like D: ?!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Did anyone else think that Ethan was celebrating his Buttday? No? Okay, never mind.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLMR

These cake decorators should be walkin' the plank! Aye matey- straight into Davey Jones' locker

And that first picture is definitely a petrified scottish terrier. If I saw myself drawn in frosting like that, I'd be scared too! =)

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterswimmybean

Where you see a moose, I see a steam-rolled California raisin.

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

And Kelly for the win!

September 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

That "moose" was actually the cake I ordered last year for the library's (I'm the librarian) celebration of Talk Like a Pirate Day! I was delighted when I opened it; my first really great entry for Cake Wrecks!

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRoxanne

So I am reading this post with my 4 year old and he looks a the grey/green one and asks, "What is it, Mommy? What is it?" I of course start giggling. He then says, "I know! It's a turtle! But, where is his mouth?" I now officially loose it laughing. Just. Made. My. Day.

September 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

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