My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Is There No "Just Us"?

After you see the word "just" written on a cake enough times, you start to ask yourself, "How does this keep happening?"


I don't know. I honestly don't. 

But it still cracks me up.


Sometimes I can't help imagining the conversation:

"What would you like the cake to say?"

"'Happy Birthday.'"

"Anything else?"

"Just 'Happy Birthday.'"



(I see "Just Happy Birthday" so often that I'm starting to wonder if bakers think it's a "thing." You know, like Man Showers or Dubstep.)


Then there are the perils of ever thanking your baker:



Not to mention the perils of writing anything out with instructions, really:

And just like that, CC's hysterectomy cake would never be forgotten.


So bakers, remember: when in doubt about a cake, you're always better off writing nothing on it than risk getting the order wrong.



No, not "nothing ON IT," I mean just, you know, NOTHING.

 You're killing me here.

Ok, what if I tell you to leave the cake blank?

As I suspected:

We're doomed.


Thanks to Ginger E., Anony M., Jenny C., Nathan B., Nicole P., Cristina B., Kristen H., Erica, & Ross E., who know you can't take anything I say literally, because I only speak in similes. LIKE A BOSS.

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Reader Comments (42)

These are just hilarious!
And a Happy Birthday shout out to my (now) 12 year old son!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

the hysterectomy cake just killed me dead with the giggles!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

When I saw the first one, I thought it was a coy 40th birthday cake... like "34 and holding..." But the rest.... I love this stuff.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Happy birthday fluffy calf. (see what I did there?) Anyway, literal cakes are my favorite! All I can say is "Just thank you! In red."

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Sung to “The Star Spangled Banner”

Oh, say, can’t you see, that this “just” isn’t right?
As so proudly you hand me a cake with no meaning
With broad strokes and star tips, you don’t think, you “just” write
Oe’r the counter I watched, my eyes angrily streaming
And you piped “thanks” right there, ‘cause you "just" didn’t care
And told CC’s friends that no eggs were left there
You say it makes sense to pipe “nothing” on cake
And that writing out “Leave blank” was an honest mistake.

Just Happy 12th Birthday, Fluffy Calf!!! (seemed logical)

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

OMG! The Hysterectomy one made me laugh so hard I spit on my computer. I was eating. I need a nappy and a mini vac now. Thanks, guys.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.Germany

I happen to know someone with the last name of Just. A whole page of his birthday cakes - he'll be surprised and happy that people think he's 34.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

How ironic that the "hysterectomy" cake was written in red....just sayin....LOL

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

The best part: It keeps happening regularly enough that you can continue to post about it. Did you ever imagine, back when you started this blog, that in December of 2012 you'd still have enough material to make five posts a week?

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

Oh my god, I can no longer comprehend the logic behind these people O_o Sharyn bwahahaha

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just looked at these cakes.... Thank you.... I saw nothing....

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

LOVE the comment on the CC cake! Or should I say I "Just" love the comment?
@Sharyn -- LOL

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Just in case we couldn't live without terrible cakes!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Aaaaand no periods. Hysterical.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

So does that mean you're a Cake Boss, Jen?

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

And not only that, but enough material that we need our eyes soothed (or perhaps a reminder that there are still quite a number of excellent decorators in the world) once a week?

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

First cake: OK, ....
Second cake: Ooohhh!! NOW I get it. LOL.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Maybe that second "cake" was supposed to be "JUST" a Gigolo...

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The random punctuation on the Barbara cake is a really nice touch.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

Just Happy Birthday Fluffy Calf :-) I'm totally going with that. It seems just... Nice one Becky!

@Sharyn ~ Will you be my mom? I used to sing to my kids all the time but your songs are way better!

I wish I had taken a picture of the cake my kids made for me yesterday... At least it tasted good! After cleaning up the mess I now have pink food coloring all over my hand thanks to the purple icing they made...

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Literal Wrecks are "Just" my favorites!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

#1 "Yeah, she was just 34, if you know what I... No, wait, it still doesn't work. The number of syllables is right, but we'll have to keep counting down until we get a number that rhymes with something that makes sense. At this rate, putting provisional lyrics on cake is going to get expensive -- maybe we should try paper."

#2 & 3 Getting testy with wreckerators can be as fraught with peril as thanking them.

#4 This is one of those illusion things, isn't it. I thought the first part of the inscription said, "Happy Birthday Barbaral," which would explain the question marks. On further study, I see that the 'l' isn't an ell at all, and what I took to be the standard extraneous apostrophe in 'thanks' is actually the dot of an '!'. Of course, that doesn't explain the '??', nor why the recipient of a birthday cake is being thanked. Where is Victor Borge when you need him.

#5 Office manager, peering suspiciously at cake receipt: "The company pays for special occasion cakes, and these guys know that. I know they're up to something... Wait a minute, the only 'Nicole' here is me!"

#6 A perfectly innocent (though perhaps not as snarky) explanation has been overlooked: CC is graduating from junior high school. Alternative: CC, now in her 20's at least, is starting to show, and the sender (who was last to be told) is fond of sarcasm. Anything? [chirp]

#7, 8 It is as they say.

#9 'Leave Blank' could be a standing instruction for this cake.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I am jealous of CC... I wish I could have no more periods! Just like that!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlori

Maybe the 'nothing' cakes are the bakery equivalent of 'this page intentionally left blank'.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterccrow

Great post today. The last one was funny.

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

omg, the second-to-last one, with the gummie worms and... is that crumbled Oreos? It looks like mud. It looks gross!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherS

What drives me nuts are people who think that every prayer has to start with "just," and preferably have meaningless "justs" sprinkled liberally through it, as in, "Lord, we just want to thank you for these cakes, which are just covered with icing, and we just ask you to bless them."

A friend of mine calls this group the "Jesus Wejus Church," because everything they say starts with "Jesus, we just ..."

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

someone has been hiring goverment employees again

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbj

The "No Periods" cake cracked me up...and ironically in red!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

@Jodee, I'll agree to the pass for the last two days (happy belated birthday) but you're back on notice! :D

Happy birthday, Fluffy Calf!

@mel ooooooohhhhhhhhhh, that was GOOD

the third cake doesn't have any sprem on it- that's cool- but the top looks like the time I waxed my car in direct sunlight and got streaks

@Craig welcome back!!

December 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Oh man makes me just want to slap the wreckerator lol. Then again I am in a mood and these helped me laugh even if it makes me worry to ever order another birthday cake. I just know somewhere somehow a clown cake is waiting for me.. eeeek lol.

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Despite the gross appearance, "worms and dirt" cakes are actually quite tasty. I usually see it done more like a pudding than cake frosting, though.

Did anyone else read "Barbara" as "Bardoara?" I think the decorator needs to learn better handwriting (hand-icing?) as well as punctuation skills.

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

On the 3rd cake... Why are the blind peeps eating orange string? And why doesn't the other yellow one get to eat any?

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


Ohmigosh---I thought I was the only one who picked up on that. (Maybe I AM the only one in my current church). In my wild child days, I used to bow my head along with everyone else but count the "justs" in my head and secretly wonder what was up with that. It's fairly widespread, for some reason, but drives me INSANE--I call it Churchspeak. Can I be in your club?

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I'm still upset that I didn't get a hysterectomy cake! :(

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkaisee

That last cake... is that a tiny turnip in the corner?

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllicat

are they on drugs or really that stupid? or they want to see their cakes on this site!!!!

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlibby

I am the infamous CC....since I was ordering the cake for myself for my birthday, I just wanted my name on it. She asked if there were periods after the Cs. I said no. When I picked up the cake I cracked up! The work order said exactly what was written on the cake! And THAT is how I ended up with a hysterectomy cake for my birthday...LOL

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Oh, CC! The only thing that would make that tale more terrific was if you told us you're MALE! LOL (However, I checked the credits and, alas, you seem not to be- only "alas" due to the epic-ness it would have garnered.)

Also, it inspires me- maybe I need to order my own b-day cake next year as no one seems to get the hint to buy me a Cinderella TRex Wrangler!

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Gary and @SaraCVT:

Please let me join your club too. It (just) drives me crazy when I have to listen to those extraneous "justs". I'm also (actually) bothered by the overuse of the word "actually", but at least that doesn't generally (actually) appear in prayers. I have many other pet peeves, but I'll stop here.

My birthday is Sunday, so I am looking forward to the Sweets. I hope there is something I can pretend is for me.

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMariaTeresa

Ok, now I'm gonna be counting "justs" in church and when I'm listening to my Christian radio station, etc. :-) Another thing is "meh" - my kids say it all the time so it must be the "in" thing these days...

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

The just shall live by faith.

[It took WAY longer for me to recall that verse than it should have.]

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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