My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Here Comes the Snide

I can appreciate couples looking for that one-of-a-kind wedding theme to really blow their guests away, but I still think I'd draw the line at "Tornado Victim Chic."

Unless they're planning to have flying debris over the dance floor while the guests drink Hurricanes and play Twister.

In that case?

I am SO IN.


Blame my city slicker upbringing, but I had no idea corn could grow this way:

I guess the baker got an earful about how the bride wanted her cake to POP, eh, Colonel?


And say what you will about wreckerators, but they know that the show must go on. Even when they forget their spatulas and have to decorate the cake in the back of a moving delivery van, on a slalom course, blind-folded, on fire, and using nothing more than a spork and whatever they can scrounge from the bottom of the florist's trash bin.

Aaaaaand scene.


Thanks to Susie, Anony M., & Pat J., who tells me none of that actually happened, but I choose to believe it anyway so I can sleep at night. 

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Reader Comments (95)

Holy craop- all those colorful things on the first cake are birds!! I do not think I could bring myself to eat that one. A girl has to have her standards.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

What are those corn thingies???

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

What are those cakes SUPPOSED to look like. I just can't with that second one!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

That last one is quite nice in its own way. And I love those little birds on the first one. And maybe the other couple raise corn or met at a corn boil, who knows?

We can't all always make Sunday cakes...

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

OH, but I LOVE the little birdie footprints in the first cake. It's as if they were hopping around in the snow, looking for a safe place to avoid the falling trees.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm pretty sure that second cake is covered with yogurt raisins, not popcorn. Looks a lot like kernels, though, you're right about that. It would taste... odd.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan Dresner

Let me get this straight: Your wedding cake has a depiction of you getting either killed or injured in tornado, complete with branches almost crushing you. Have you gone insane? And then you order a stack of inflated corn puffs for another cake. Once you reconsider your original wedding cake, you order a different one, but you tell the baker to hurry up because you're getting married in an hour. He has his two year old slap frosting on the cake with his hands. You are then devastated at your wedding cake. Oh well. Shouldn't have ordered the twister cake.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersupergeek6000

Actually, the corny cake is an interesting concept-at least it' s unique, and they tried. The rest of them D:

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Gumball cake design,
one little question: are you
Pre- or post-chewed?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh my! that second one looks like it's covered in foam packing peanuts!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

1. Twiggy's wedding cake?
2. Yum, polyps!
3. Are you sure that's frosting? It looks like the fondant fell off the cake on the way to the wedding, so the enterprising baker grabbed a couple of cans of shaving cream from the wedding car decorators. (She always carries a spare spork.)

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What in the name of heaven is that second cake covered with? I've zoomed in and I still can't figure it out.

Also, at first I thought that the birds on the first cake were just a topper, but the multitude of little birdie footprints lead me to believe that the birds just flew in from somewhere, thinking that the cake was some sort of strange new type of tree. With really messy bark.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

Love the colorful birds on the first cake and I THINK I see where they were going with the branches (is that a bad thing? Should I check my medication?) but it does rather look like the aftermath of a tornado.'
The second one looks like it's actually made of jelly beans or something, I really can't tell. Appears to be more a leaning tower of candy than a cake!
Okay there is no excuse for the haphazard icing on this last cake, that is just inexcusable. Guess they were going for that "zen garden" look. I think we can definitely call this one an epic fail. *sigh*

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

Notice how the last cake had another couple making snide comments in hushed tones at the side of the cake. I think they are worried they went to the wrong Vegas wedding chapel cake.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentereternalhippie

What IS that second cake? Not looking appetizing is the least of its issues.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

I hope it's just unfortunate picture background, and that there isn't a real fountain coming out of the top of the second cake. If the bride said "I want a traditional tiered wedding cake, but cover it with corn kernels..." then the cake is spot on. Who knows....maybe they're farmers.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I think the little birds are cute. If the frosting had been smoother, and the twigs had been removed, this could have been beautiful. It's right under the surface (or twigs). Can you see it?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea H.

In the photo of the last cake, the ceramic figures on the left side: It looks like the husband is comforting her or trying to keep her from killing someone. "No, honey. You don't want to be arrested for murder on our wedding day."

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica H

Perhaps the second cake is supposed to represent pearls?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Bird tracks on cake? Do you know where those bird claws have been?? EWWW!!! (Sorry, I may be slightly predjudiced (sp?) by the fact that I have a (ahem) slight bird phobia). Evil nasty feathered creatures of Satan.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

Is it me or does the second look like it is covered in reptile eggs?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

The last one *might* have worked without all the sparingly-applied flotsam. It's a big *might*, mind you. It would surely have looked better than it does with it. And I think I saw cake #2 in Dr Who once...

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I think there's something wrong with me, but I'm loving the idea of a corncob inspired cake! If only the execution were just a leeeetle bit closer to the mark...

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

The second cake looks like it's covered in White Maltesers, a UK sweet similar to US Whoppers.
Very strange!!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

In the first cake's defense, the bird footprints on top are *adorable*. The sticks are terrible, but pull them out and you have a rather cute cake!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAubri

I just know that there's some fabulous "Inspiration Cake" out there for that third one, with satiny fondant ruffles and gorgeous gum-paste flowers.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I'm choosing to believe that the second cake is covered in river rocks, to prevent melting in the heat, and that there is a second, edible, non-rock-covered, cake indoors, safe in the A/C.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna B

The "corn" one looks like eggs to me, like they were going for an Easter theme or something.

But I...I really just don't know.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Say what you will, but that tornado cake is kind of wonderful.

The final one is ... well, it's the reason the term "Cake Wrecks" was coined.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Maybe cake #2 is a sneaky way for the bride to drum up support for her favorite breakfast cereal:

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

I love this site, I love the bad puns (although I know I shouldn't encourage you, J&J), but I also love the comments. Haiku Joy has never let me down (how does she DO it??) and Sharyn's comment about polyps made me spit out my coffee.

And you know . . . I do have kind of a soft spot for the birds after the tornado cake. At least I'd eat it, unlike many of the other so-called cakes on this site. And I could use the twigs as toothpicks afterwards. I'd say it works.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

My question is: do the bakers actually expect to get paid for these Horrors? cos I would stop payment on the checks pronto tonto, once I stopped screaming that is.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

I didn't see adorable birdy footprints. I saw poorly covered holes where the twigs used to be before the wreckerator got them juuuust right. *snerk*

I thought those were eggs, too. Hard boiled and peeled. Insert your own "fertility" joke here.

"...on fire..." Hahahahaaa! Oh, Jen. You are amazing. Almost, but not quite, exactly UN-like that last cake!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Actually, I was kinda hoping that the fountain WAS coming out of that second cake - kind of a river-rock mosaic garden fountain sort of theme, which could be rather cool . . . as long as there was another cake that one could actually eat, heh. I also like the little birds and bird tracks on the first cake, but they really shouldn't have rolled the cake around in the yard after that storm: leave well enough alone, I always say! As for the third cake, um . . . hmmm . . . maybe they were going for a "sheets of snow falling off the roof in the springtime warmth" look? I think that's what I would've told my guests if I had been the bride at that wedding!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIkwig

@Haiku Joy: Not pre-chewed, just pre-licked (to remove the color). : - /

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I kind of get the idea for #1 cake, birds running around after the first snow? Poetic idea, but something dont fit , too messy. Same for the "corn cake" ,original idea but result is wierd. But the third cake... If i was the bride, i would be crying

You know what i would like to see? Instead of wreckerators trying to copy hilariously the cakes and ideas of the "real pros and talented non-pros" , to see one of the talented or pro people take the ideas of the wrecks and actually do it micely. A "reverse wreck" like this wreck is the original, then x baker took the idea and actually made it look like whatever it was supposed to be. Would be fun on cakes like those above!

Sorry for typos,autocorrect is permanently off on my phone..

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVinie

Little birds, are you listening?
On the cake, snow is glistening -
Two bluejays to say
It's our wedding day
With branches* on a frosting wonderland.

* We were out of sprinkles after we did the tablecloth, so we substituted twigs. Hope you don't mind.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

These sort of posts make me feel better about my own wedding cake, which was slightly crooked. I had made up my mind when I woke up that morning to enjoy the day and not get upset over little things that would inevitably be not quite perfect and were out of my control anyway. So, I said nothing about the cake. We ate it and it was tasty. However, it bugs the life out of me in pictures. It's especially annoying when people look at my pictures and say, "It looks like your cake is crooked." Gee, thanks, you're the first one to notice that, so glad you pointed it out. Maybe I should print these out and keep them in the back of my album. When someone looking through mentions the crookedness I can whip 'em out and say, "Well, at least it's better than these!"

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

#1 "Jay, I don't think we're in Kansas, anymore!"

[Wreckerator] "It would just have to be the windiest day of the year. Think anyone will notice?"

[Assistant] "Notice what?"

#2 I call grapes, olives or really big capers. It does look like there's a fountain on top -- hopefully, that's in the pool. Cake to follow in 3...2...1...

#3 [Wreckerator] "I got here, set the cake up, and dang if I didn't forget to frost it. Good thing I had some gauze bandages in my emergency toolkit. Just tell the guests to peel them off, first, like they would do with fondant. Oops -- the topper lost their heads! Good thing I have a spare -- excuse me while I make the switch."

[Spare topper] "That wreckerator is a klutz! That could have been us up there!"

"I know -- try not to look."

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

"Colonel!" That made me gigglesnort. Thank you, as always, for the wonderful puns.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDana the Biped

Oh goodness. I could do a better job than that last cake, and I've only just learnt how to make/spread buttercream in the past two weeks!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTenielle

The second one could actually work if each layer were significantly smaller than the one below. That would eliminate the optical illusion that it's cone-shaped. (Making the "corn puffs" on the top of the layers a different color than the ones on the sides would also help but the bride and groom obviously ordered all white.)

If the twigs on the first cake were an artistic arrangement of mini-trees in the winter rather than a random collection of twigs that were thrown at the cake and are now falling off, I'd like that cake.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

As a resident of Tuscaloosa, AL, I cringe a little bit at any jokes about tornadoes. (See April 27, 2011 outbreak if you need more info) However, "tornado victim chic" could not be more appropriate--and accurate--than this cake!! It looks like the bakery must have been on 15th Street in Tuscaloosa! HAHAHAHAHAHA

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterValerie Trull

Somehow I read the first one as "tomato victim chic". Perhaps that's what being thrown at the wreckerators?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLacey

cake number one: you would say was beautiful if the decorator had used sugar crystals to make it more snow looking for the winter scene
cake number two: i think those are corn puffs (cereal) and that was obviously added after the cake was assembled so it might not have been the decorator to do it.
cake number three: looks like it was also iced? fondant? after assembly. not something an actual decorator would do. (look at where the layers join, the icing covers from one layer unto the next). it might have been an "i don't want a smooth cake"

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranon

Sandra Lee so did the corn cake ( I can only assume that the baker was trying to one up her. The fountain is a nice touch. I'm sure Sandra Lee is taking notes for her next hoe down party. Cocktails in mason jars?

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Even with the description of the third cake's creation, the actual picture was still worse than I imagined it would. That takes talent. Or something.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCharla

I know exactly what cake that first one was modeled after, but it looks nothing like the original. Do a google image search for "branch cake" and it should be the first one that comes up. The other ones are just sad. Not that the first one isn't's very sad.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKara Buntin

I believe the corn may be infected with corn smut. Never pretty.

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterveggie gardener

Not sure if anyone has said it yet, but the second one looks like it's covered in buttered popcorn jelly belly beans... especially with the color variations. My husband would actually love it, but not for a wedding cake!!

February 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

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