My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


"There! On the horizon! Is it some foul messenger of Emperor Zurg, here to destroy all life in this galaxy??"





Thanks to Rachel M., who adds, "This was the second attempt and the cake maker was shocked I was not happy. The manager, however, had to hold back his laughter and started calling all the employees over!"

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Reader Comments (91)

I haven't laughted so hard in years. This should go in the "classics" section....

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

I think they got their movies mixed it looks like a cross between Buzz and the caterpillar from a bug's life?

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara A.

UGH IT BURNS MY RETINAS!!!! D: The manger should not have been so shocked-that is one of the ugliest cakes i've seen ina long time.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Maybe its because I've seen so many bad cakes on here and have become desensitized, but it's not that bad. Not good, but not the worst I've seen.

But I find it hilarious that the manager was calling employees over to see the wreck.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

I'm frightened, Auntie Em! I'm frightened!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I dunno. The candles in the helmet give it that extra added zing, right?

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

That is unspeakable.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I see the tragedy in it. But, I also hear, "Woo-hoo! Free cake!" Because there is no way she had to pay for that, right? (Right??!)

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Looks like poor Buzz just discovered Newton's Second Law of Motion, and no one was there to use the soccer mom arm to keep him from slamming into the windshield.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Waking up slowly.
Stretch! Check email. Yawn! Cakewrecks . . .
No need for coffee.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Oh. Kudos to the baker for even trying. Buzz is hard to do. This looks like a mash-up of a Muppet and Marishka Haggarty's mouth.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterC

Uh, wow!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

Okay. So what you have here looks like a fat woman wearing some sort of sparkling head dress, a shirt with odd looking buttons on it, a creepy pedophile smile, with huge top teeth, tiny bottom teeth, dimples, an unnerving pedophile stare, and bizarre eyebrows that almost form a unibrow. Baker, look at the picture. Look at the cake. See a difference? You didn't even get the gender right. And somehow, you're still surprised that the woman doesn't like the cake. Get some glasses baker, they'll help you.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersupergeek6000

Some people just should not have access to an airbrush and cake decorating supplies. Either that, or they should take art classes. Lots and lots of art classes.

Didn't even get the buttons right on his chestplate. Some people have NO eye for detail.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

So, when I saw the picture of the cake, I am pretty sure I had the same look on my face as Mrs. Potato Head. Scary!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwasnt_serious

Oh geez, wish I could have seen the first try too! So... what did you do for a cake?

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberj

Too bad you weren't doing an Alfred Molina themed party :) pretty much a dead ringer

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberj

*blinkblink* What? I...I did NOT see that, it can't be a real cake, it's an evil doppleganger posing as a lovable Pixar character. *SOB* Poor Ezrah, he's going to be too afraid to eat his own cake!

To infinity
and beyond with this terror
another sad child

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergrneyes6

That looks more like Chester the Molester. Just sayin'

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

I'm getting the feeling that, just as there are tone-deaf people who can't actually hear themselves being off-key when they sing (or anybody else), there must also be something like copy-blindness or something, where people can't actually see that there are significant differences between two visuals.

I mean, they may know that there are differences, but not grasp that the differences are wrong. Like there are differences between Dolly Parton and Whitney Huston singing "I will always love you", but we know both do it correctly but differently? Tone deaf people won't understand the difference between this and the way an off-key singer butchers a song. So it's futile to tell them "there, didn't you notice it's different here and here and here?" because yes, it's different but it's just the same to them.

Am I onto sumething here?

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

That's disturbing. My daughter is currently obsessed with Toy Story (and Buzz Lightyear in particular), so I was really excited to see the picture at the top, and I almost called her over to see it. Then I scrolled down.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Ohh . . . I feel a little sorry for this wreckerator. You can tell there was effort there. At least it looks like a person.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGoosey

Facepalm to infinity...and beyond!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHM Heather

LOVE the third picture!!! LOVE IT!!! You should hang it above whatever computer you use to write your CW posts, because THAT is how your audience looks every day.

I'll be giggling quietly in my cubicle for the rest of the morning now.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

I'm sorry - I know that the cake is bad, but unless you *know* that the bakery can do Buzz, have (the royal) we learned nothing from this site? I can ice a cake, but I couldn't do Buzz to save my life short of getting a plastic one and putting him on top.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterblue42

That poor child. :'(

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCristi

She didnt like it because they forgot the little chin spiral, right? Because otherwise the resemblance is uncanny..... to Uncle Fester!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngieN24

Sadly that awful cake looks a lot like an exboyfriend.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSad truth

I would love to see what the first attempt looked like if this one is this bad....

Love the story that goes with it :)

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

The scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz... no, he was nice. This is his evil twin.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Bless Flartus, who is absolutely right. We all look just like that each Cakewrecky day. I've been bursting into laughter all morning at the images AND the comments.

The group shot of horror is also familiar to me in another context. I like to call it "The Incredulity of College Students Upon Being Assigned Their First Two Page Paper." The same swollen surprise just before it bursts into either panic or despair, depending on the temperment of the student. Can I get that in cake form? I'd eat it for breakfast.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

****No Joke****

Last night, in the pre-sleep period where my mind starts to wander and think incoherent thoughts, but I'm still aware enough to know that they're incoherent, I thought (apropos of absolutely nothing): "This suspect, she had the 'complexity' of the complexion of Buzz Lightyear."

I am so not kidding you.

Then, my phone rang and I was pulled back to coherence. I thought, "That's some crazy nonsense. Why was I thinking about Buzz Lightyear? Why am I thinking that I am getting ready to interview a suspect? What is complexion complexity?" Then I laughed at myself.

I really struggled with posting this, because what are the chances? I do have to say, though, that this is only significant/kind of not-lame because it's true. If I were making something up, I'd do a great deal better!

This is the third Cake Wrecks/EPBOT coincidence that I've had. I don't know what to make of it.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjanell

Buzz has a new name: Bug-eyed Leer.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

His "helmet" looks like a white wig to me. So he sort of looks like Washington, or one of the British "court dressed" judges of old. Or, do they still do that? Anyway, George Washington wondering why he had to share his b.d. with the others.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

My favorite part - I totally pulled the exact same face as the cast in that last picture when I saw the cake!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaree @ Ever Heard of Euless

I just asked my 3 year old what the middle one looked like: "um, um, I don't know..."

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

I've never seen a cake with CRAZY EYES until today.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Oh gosh, that pic of the characters is PRICELESS!! It is so totally perfect!

I wonder what the first attempt looked like ?? O.O

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmbeedee

People should not ask people to do things that are so obviously outside their skill set. There should be templates in bakeries for situations like these.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

I kind of feel bad for the cake maker, but if your results come out looking like that, it's time to find another calling.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Kid's three. Years. Old. He'll never know the difference.

About the Disney cakes on here last Sunday, they'd look the same as this to the typical three year old.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKindergarten Teacher

So did you learn from experience or was it instinct to provide the picture of Buzz? Because if you hadn't done that, I sincerely doubt I'd have known what the cake was supposed to be.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Why, dear God... Why.

Oh, and congratulations on completely missing the point while trolling, "Kindergarten Teacher".

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

"Buzz" instantly made me think of Phamtom of Krankor from Prince of Space. (great MST3K episode!)

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakeninja

So close.

And yet so, so far.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

My ten-year-old says, "But it's okay if the alien cake steals your soul. As long as it tastes good."

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

What we have here is another attempt to avoid copyright infringement. This isn't Buzz Lightyear at all, it's Bud Lightbeer. That would explain the eyes, the cheeks and...pretty much the whole thing, actually.

Alternate theory: What happened after Buzz fell into the hands of the evil kid next door a second time. Scene deleted due to being too disturbing for sensitive viewers.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Right about now, edible photo paper isn't sounding so bad...

@ Sharyn: soccer mom arm! Hee! My mom always did that to us kids if she had to stop short. One day, a young man at her work needed a ride home. Someone cut her off and she had to stop hard. She shot her arm out in front of him like she would any of us kids. Scared the poor guy! He thought she was getting "fresh"!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Buzzkill is the PERFECT title for this! This made me literally laugh out loud. WOW!

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney P.

Sell it to a Doctor Who fan as a Sontaran Cake. It's just about right.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

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