My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Spider Wreck Chronicles

Not long ago I told you all about a Wreckporter who was foiled in her attempt to photograph a spider Wreck. Since then many of you have sent in photos asking, "Was this it?". Of course I have no way of knowing, so we'll just have to ask Mrs. Tantrum. So, hey, Mrs. Tantrum, was this it?

For what it's worth, this one isn't TOO bad. Other than the fact that the legs are sprouting out of its face like whiskers, of course. And all that black frosting. And the disturbingly ambivalent mouth expression. And the fact that it's a CCC. Yep, not bad at all.

In fact, from what I've seen that is actually the most popular style of spider cake out there. Here are some more colorful models:

This one at least has its face in the right place (always a good thing), but I'm not sure what's going on in the mouth area. Plus, that Haunted gingerbread kit in the background is pure Wrecky gravy.

I would be remiss if I didn't include the steamrolled model:

Plus, yellow? Really? This looks more like a colorful dust mite, or maybe an alien brain with tubing attached, but a spider? No way.

Or how about this guy - or should I say 'girl'?

Sure, she looks more like a muppet with dreadlocks and a bald-spot than a spider, but she's so gosh-darn cute!

Speaking of dreadlocks...

Cha mon, dese be some hoppy Rasta spiders! They be jammin'. And really, have you ever seen pipe cleaners look so delicious?

Alyss H., Rebecca S., Valerie S., Katie M., and Tina F., tune in tomorrow for the terrifying conclusion to...

[dum dum da dummm] The Spider Wreck Chronicles.

« And Now the Conclusion of The Spider Wreck Chronicles | Main | Ghosts with the Most, Continued »

Reader Comments (127)

And silly me always thought spiders had 6 legs! They must still be attached to the steam roller somewhere.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

That muppet spider is dawlin'! :) I think (gasp!) that I would consider buying it! :)

And you are RIGHT! I have never seen such delicious pipe cleaners! I have some just like that. I think I'll have to go taste them. Or, maybe not. ;)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I don't think the yellow one is a spider - it's only got six legs! Maybe it is a happy dust mite!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Kitchen Gadget Goddess

You forgot to note that the makers of the yellow "spider" and the pipe-cleaner-leg "spiders" apparently can't count. Or else they forgot how many legs spiders have.

(The one in front of the haunted gingerbread houses may also have this problem, but it's hard to tell because of the glare on the box...)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Gale

Actually I would not want to eat any of them..very suspicious looking lot of cakes/cupcakes. Yuk..

But as always you make me laugh! I look forward to more Chronicles. have me lurking in the bakery at the stores looking for wrecks. It does become an obsession.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary


I STILL can't see any of the pictures! One day they just stopped working. (sob)

What's going on??

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKiera

Argh! I have seen the first one in all the stores here, but in dark purple... That yellow one only has 6 legs! It's not an arachnid...

I have a pumpkin wreck I need to send to you--gotta get my hubby to get it off my phone first though...

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersharalyns

The first one...blegh. All that black icing can't be good for one's

The second spider looks like it's made out of a blue and pink afgan throw blanket. And the yellow one is just too much.

The Muppet spider is cute. I'd buy it just to have it sit on my desk and it would put me in a good mood every time I'd look at it.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulio

The Rasta spiders are kinda fun!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

OMG - once again you have made my morning! These spider-wrecks are enough to send an arachnophobic running and screaming from the room. My personal faves are the muppet with dreadlocks and the rasta spiders, they look kind of like a ding-dong with eyes.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercatmania

Not to be a huge nerd but I noticed that some of the spiderwrecks don't even have the right number of legs... insects have 6, spiders have 8!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

And I thought all spider had eight legs...

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteralanna rose

Hahahaha They be jammin'. You crack me up!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

I think the first little guy is kind of cute.

The rest of the cakes are nightmare-worthy.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I like the muppet spider. Kind of reminds me of Abby Cadabby.

Angie (from over at

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

Oh, dear Lord - I'm not sure what color I would make a spider cake if I were to make one, but these are OFF the list! What about chocolate - Why can't we just make them chocolate? And that yellow one (and the Rastas, I think) only have 6 legs - I guess that would explain the looks on their faces - I guess amputation makes you cross-eyed!
Thanks for the laughs - I really needed that today!!!
Tracy O

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

Adding to my list of things that should never be eaten = Black Frosting, Black Licorice, Cakes with spiders or spider themes (real and/or decorated.) ::throws up::

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

The muppet one is so cute! But the others are....scary! Especially the 1st one - oh my gosh!!!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCC

huh, i kinda like that first one...though it does remind me of the cookie monster cake.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Bwahaha! I love the yellow smooshed one. That's what happens when Mr. Spider scares me in the bathtub.

I have to disagree with you slightly on the first one--that confused expression is perfect for a CCC. "Am I cake? A herd of nifty one-serving treats?? Or a giant glop of frosting????"

I do honestly feel sorry for it.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

As atrocious as the Halloween cakes/cupcake monstronsities are ... I can't wait for Thanksgiving.

You can only ruin a spider, ghost, whatev, so far and in so many ways.

Turkeys are going to be fun.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first thought was wondering what color someone would poop after eating that much black frosting.

My mind. It is in the gutter again.

I love the title for this post!

The fourth cake looks like a winter cap with legs and a face.


October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, I thought it was common knowledge that spiders, like all Arachnids, have eight legs. Six legs is the tell-tale sign of an insect, and ten a typical crustacean. Cake designers take note: spiders have eight legs! I'm actually pretty sure that reiterates what many Kindergarteners and first graders are learning right around now.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermattschuette

Ack! Bugs! Hollowe'en bugs! Run!

Sorry. Some of these wrecks are just wrong! All together now: How many legs does a spider have? EIGHT! Maybe they're Hallowe'en daddy longlegs? Boo!

(Aren't we all scared now!)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterC

Doesn't the yellow one only have 6 legs? One of the rasta spiders looks like it only has 7, but I can't quite tell.


October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRubyT

Those are hysterical!! Love it!

Is it bad that I really like the Muppet one? I mean, if I were expecting a spider, I'd be disappointed, but those insane colors and the cute face! It's so bad, it's good.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRnee

Apparently these "decorators" aren't aware that spiders have 8 legs, either.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

And what's with the six-legged spiders? (the yellow and the two black)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOlivia

Did we notice that some of these poor creatures only have six legs? Hrm.


October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNP

okay, the pink, yellow and green spider is downright adorable! The yellow dust mite....ughhh.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ow My eyes!!!!!
Some of those should come with epilepsy warnings.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwpb30635

BAHAHAHAH the rasta ones are my fav! and the muppet one just may give me nightmares.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWakeGrace

Hilarious cakes, as usual! You gotta give the sesame street spider some credit for at least having 8 legs though.... apparently that is not a given with its yellow variety. :D


October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSnowberry and Lime

8 legs. EIGHT. Spiders have EIGHT legs. You'd think they could at least get the anatomy right. The yellow one & the Rasta spiders (I think) only have 6. Man, what kind of cake decorators are these people?

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn T.

Goodness. What pops instantly into my mind (besides WTF?) is "how difficult is it to remember that spiders have eight legs?" They're pretty famous for having eight legs. I mean, ask a grade-schooler about spiders, and they'll tell you that they live in webs and have eight legs. So why do so many cutesy-wootsy-crap-spiders have only six legs?

(I do not expect an answer. I'm sure the answer is along the lines of "why do some people use double-quote marks to indicate emphasis?")

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalli Arcale

You didn't even mention that the yellow one only has 6 legs! It apparently lost two in the steamrolling incident.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, this is my very first comment on your blog! I was recently referred to your blog by a friend. I don't do cakes. I just have funny friends and we all have pretty great senses of humor (if i do say so myself). SO, I recommended your blog on my blog...blah blah blah...and now we're all enjoying you via googlereader.

Moving on...
About the yellow spider cake...I'm wondering if the prosthetic shop is working on the other 2 legs and if they will soon be forthcoming or if yellow spidey will always only have 6 legs instead of 8, after the accident.

Looking forward to being a faithful reader for years to come...

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGreenEggsandSam

Maybe the yellow dust bunny is making that face because not only is it a wrecktastic spider, but it has lost its seventh and eighth legs. Poor dear.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterteacherlady

Rasta Spiders are just the best! They have an innate sense of rythm, they are relaxed and chilled out. And they only eat flies if the flies want to be eaten.

I also love the transgender rasta spider too -- Queer Rastas don't get nearly enough exposure on the web, so you get bonus points for that!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Applebee

Non-food on a cake should be an immediate wreck qualifier.

Happy Halloween!ERtripomgomgomgomg

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My eyes can't handle the assault... I would almost say these are the worst cakes I have ever seen.... but there are so many wrecks to choose from...

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

The multicoloured Muppet spider-thingy is just too bright. Yuck.
The poor flattened yellow dust mite is very sad..
~Amy B.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That first one is either an Albertson's staple the nation over, or it's from my local store, because I passed by it last week and wished I had my camera! But really, I think that one's the tamest of the bunch here. At least it's BLACK!

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKameron

I hope I never see a pinata-colored spider in real life.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryousuckatcraigslist

Ha ha ha! I love the "muppet" one! I stared at it for a minute, then read your comments and thought "that's exactly what it looks like!"

And....yummmmm pipe cleaners, they're my favorite :)

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

Dude, did they all get those spider CCCs out of the same craft magazine or something?

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

Those pipe cleaner ones do NOT look like spiders...they look like children...for real. that's cute.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdebbiearnn

And the yellow spider is missing two legs. Maybe she (yes the cake looks female to me) got attacked by some vicious cake wrecker

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

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