My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

An Eccentric Performance

So. Ye seek humor and frivolity. Follow.

[swinging about dramatically]


Follow ONLY if ye be readers of valor, for the path to LOLZ is guarded by creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has laughed at them... and lived!

"'Ewwo, guv'na."


BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about their lair!

Or "carrot pops." Whatever.


So, brave readers, if ye do doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further, for DEATH awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

Well, teeth, anyway.


You dare laugh? Foolish mortals, this is no ordinary rabbit!

That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!


This one's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!

And also on sale! HEYO!


And that one will snap your spine as soon as look at you!

Not to mention get you really sticky.


I'm warning you! They've got huge, sharp-- eh-- they can leap about-- um -- just look at those eyebrows!

"Hand over the Trix and nobody gets hurt."


Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, is it? Piece of cake, eh? Well, don't say I didn't warn you!

"Who wants to nibble our pastrami ears?!"




Hey Eric C., Jennifer D., Katie C., Mackenzie S., Lisa B., Byron K., Renee M., & Maureen P., somebody fetch the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, stat.

« Sunday Sweets: Happy Easter! | Main | Pan-Wow »

Reader Comments (71)

I see these cakes, and I try to be brave, but it takes every amount of will-power I have not to run away screaming. Then, I think of a little song my father taught me, and I find the strength to face my fears. Let me share it with you.

Every cake is sacred.
Every cake is great.
If a cake is wasted.
Jen gets quite irate.

So, sing this song when these cakes frighten you, but be careful -- they're not dead yet.


April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

A couple of these give a new meaning to Hot. Cross. Buns.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little small mammal in the family Leporidae of the order Lagomorpha and not at all a rodent, isn't it?

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I read that whole thing with an English accent in my head. I certainly cannot imagine why (snicker).

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I soiled my armor I was so scared!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

If we eat the minstrels then we don't have to eat the cakes, right? And there was much rejoicing!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKnightmareshade

WHY on earth is #4 grey??? Looks like he's still in his jammies. And #3 scares me, with his processed cheese product teeth & vacant stare. Ugh!!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Marie, great suggestion to read today's post with an English accent. May I also recommend Vizzini from "The Princess Bride"!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

Where's the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch when you need it?

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

what, behind the rabbit?

no, it IS the rabbit!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjohn's mom

I LOVE IT! I read your whole post in the accent of the sorcerer..."Tim?"

The Killer-Bunny stapler on my desk lunged at me, I swear. I would not be able to eat any of those cakes.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterredd

Ewwww more like Hot Gross Buns

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScifimom

Oh, oh, oh. My beautiful, soft, cuddly bunnies would roll over in their graves if they saw these. Whew, I didn't use to be scared of bunnies (or clowns), now I'm not so sure!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKalendi

Is that last one really MEAT? With jelly beans chopping it's head off? I think I'd rather get a good taunting than eat any of those! Ew!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Congratulations for the creative ideas. The rabbits are amazing and we can use them for the upcoming Easter.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLondon Removals

And so my decision to make cute little chick cupcakes for Easter is vindicated.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

1) Bassgirl - SNICKER!

2) Jen - What makes this even funnier for me is on Monday, someone left the world's angriest chocolate bunny on a table in the break room where I work. I added a post-it with "I am ANGRY BUNNY(tm). Touch me, I F YOU DARE!" written on it, and a few minutes later, someone else added a piece of paper with Tim's entire warning written on it. The ANGRY BUNNY lasted until about 3:30 in the afternoon, when some LUCKY LUCKY BASTARD bit his head off.

3) I cannot think of a single, solitary reason why the world needed not one but TWO pastrami and rye Easter bunnies. And now I'm craving a Reuben. Dammit.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

"Right. One... two... five!"

"Three, sir."


April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth A.

SO disappointed to find out those aren't phallus-pops. :(

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCrematia

What in the world are those horrors on the 2nd cake?
As an old broad, all I can picture is a finger glove for when docs/ prison guards/ TSA at the airports and Homeland Security pat down men...... "Squat and bend over."

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermocking

Oh, now you've done it. I'm gonna cross over from "I love you, you're so funny" to "I love you, I'm calling from your driveway, what's for dinner? I brought my jammies and some fudge."

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Yikes, who made those deranged items??? The carrot pops look like squished fingers D:

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That trix bunny can also pass as a santa claus bunny.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterss

That 4th one down is the Cheshire Rabbit, isn't it?

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBethany B.

Lol, SuBee. At least I am not the only one with enough OCD to mentally scream "LAGOMORPH NOT RODENT". *sigh* I have enough issues to fill a subscription.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGezebelle

Well I have a bit of a problem. At a local store there is a most glorious cake wreck but I have no way to take a picture of it and share it!

Let me try my best to describe it. For starters it's a CCC(patooie) that is suppose to look like a carrot. The shape of the grand wreck is a large Trapizoid with 3 green cupcakes forming the stem. 3 more cupcakes are affixed to the top colored bright pink. Over the top of those is a plastic pink bunny hears and on the bottom are 2 more brown cupcakes to serve as wheels.

So to make a long story short, at the store near where I live there is a literal easter carrot jockey cake!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

This seems like as good a time as any to remind everyone that all of these cakes were made by professionals and put up for sale. For real money.

Is the third one made of sushi?

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Rabbit wannabe's, close, but always just a hare off....

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Hilarious, as always!!!

Just a note - I'm not trying to start another EPCOT here, but rabbits aren't rodents, they're lagomorphs.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Consult the Book of Armaments!

Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One.

"And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,
'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow
thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and
people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies,
and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"

Skip a bit, Brother.

"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the
Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting
shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two,
excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once
the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou
thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty
in my sight, shall snuff it.'"

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelagh

I'm so glad you took us on the Quest for the Holy Grail. I had faith that you would, in a season where rabbits are so celebrated!

So sad about the sourdough rabbits in the sourdough basket - they could have been Sunday Sweets (well, honorary Sweets; I suppose they're actually Sunday Sours) if the baker had painted faces on them rather than applying dough segments for that hideous pig/donkey hybrid. And what's with the eyebrows? And the jellybean layer between their bodies and severed heads? They could have been a great set-up for a pun about sourdough bun-nies, but they blew it.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakelover

Kim, how dare you poke fun at the wise words of the Might Tim!

Bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Luckily, we made through the whole post without a verse of "Little Bunny Foo Foo". That was the good news.
Now for the bad news--THOSE CAKES!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

THAT is deserving of a standing ovation. Brava.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatja

Those "carrot pops" would look better with some naked baby jockeys.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremmamonkey

Very enchanting presentation!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

Jen, this is the first time I've ever commented, but, as a fellow geek, I always think the same thing:

This is why I love you!!!

Keep it up!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyghtbeauty

hahahaha the sticky one looks like it um..was involved in uh....maybe something not family friendly.

also rabbits aren't rodents, they are lagomorths. i know this because i had a giant one (18 lbs..flemish giant breed) as a pet in college and the apartment lease didn't allow rodents but said nothing about lagomorphs so he was therefore a loophole, which the apt management knew about and did nothing about. win!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Run away! Run away!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJim Todd

The carrot pops are

Yeah, come to think of it, that pretty much describes all of the, uh, cakes today...

And now I can't get the Monty Python voice out of my head! :)

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

@Gezebelle- I only identified these rabbits correctly because the last time I labelled a rabbit cake a
"foul, cruel and bad tempered rodent," someone yelled at me. My feelings were hurt. I wanted to go into this holiday weekend feeling good about myself, so I posted carefully.
You see, I too have issues. The distinction between lagomororphs and rodents doesn't happen to be one of mine. But still, I have many, many issues. Many, many.
Please don't yell at me.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#4 could pass as a ROUS...with a "cute little bunny mask". What it needs is the fire spurt!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

Once again, my 3 year old summed it up quite nicely. "Those are crazy creatures!"

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKdot

That last "cake" left me sniveling! I'm all shaken up inside... I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight... O__O

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

OK. CCCs (patooie) I understand but don't condone. The deli bunnies at the end are weird and almost, but not quite, well done.

What the heck is #6 though? A giant, frosted apple fritter with plastic detritus attached???? I was going with cinnamon roll until I noticed something that looked like apple filling up by one of the eyes. Maybe it's not, in which case I don't want to think about what is leaking out of that thing.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Jen, you are on a ROLL!! One completely hilarious post after another! Wasn't sure what those "carrot pops" were at first. And seriously, what is going on in that last picture? I am greatly disturbed. Thanks for the LOL!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

My favorite movie EVER!

"Let us taunt it. It may become so cross that it will make a mistake."

"Like what?"


April 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

you made my Friday with an entire Holy Grail post!!! As usual, the photos are funny, but your writing is what really makes this post so hilarious (and John's writing is hilarious too!).

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats...Skip a bit, Brother

Cheers from one of the autonomous collective!

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlower Girl

#2 looks like something deep-fried. My first thought was fish.

#3 Another one that appears to be in a deli case. Are they not content to leave wrecking to the bakery? Perhaps in an era of downsizing, the two are being run by the same staff.

#4 No wonder it's bad-tempered -- it has four hind legs. I don't even want to know how that blue-gray frosting color was achieved.

#5 Hey, it's cake. I'm sure it tastes just fine. Sorry -- I was channeling someone else, there.

#6 I detect king cake in the lineage. [ducks and runs]

#7 Holy guacamole -- what is on those satellite cupcakes?

#8 See #3. Nice bread basket.

April 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

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