Please, Call Me Mom

Bakers, with Mothers' Day coming up this weekend I thought it'd be a good idea to start practicing her name now - you know, just to avoid any repeats of last year's debacles.

Now remember, the traditional favorites are "mom," "mommy," and the more formal but still perfectly acceptable "mother." Of these, I realize that "mommy" is by far the most difficult for you to spell - but don't worry. I have a fool-proof system guaranteed to help:

Step 1: Don't spell it like this:

See, you need two "m"s in the middle there.

Step 2: Also don't spell it like this:

I said two "m"s, not two "o"s.

Besides, the last thing you want to do when complimenting Mom is evoke bovine imagery. Trust me.

Step 3: And don't spell it like this, either:

I know you were thinking about it. Stop that.

Step 4: This is RIGHT OUT:

Ladies and gentleman, Phonics has left the building.

 (Update: No, it's not the person's name -  they really asked for "mommy." Really. Yes, really really.)

Step 5: On second thought,  maybe just avoid "mommy" all together.  Stick with "mom" or "mother" instead.

I like it.

Momther's gonna be so proud.

Thanks to Amanda C.,  Tricia O., Boss B., Angel G., & Matthew M. for the mommy issues.