My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Meanwhile, at the Unintentionally Erotic Bakery...

"Deb, everyone keeps laughing at our new spiral donuts. Any idea why?"

"Really? Still? Drat. I even added a sign - I thought that would help."

"Yeah, about that....I'm not sure we should be telling customers to not get their "panties" in a twist. Could you change that?"

"Oh, sure."

"And make sure the new sign mentions we can heat the donuts up, too."

"You got it!"




Attention, customers: THEY'RE JUST DONUTS. 

Don't get your p***s in a twist. 


 P.S. Available Hot...

or Cold!


 Thanks for the dough nuts, Sophie F.!

« The Big Bang Theory | Main | Sunday Sweets: A Salute To All Nations, But Really Just America »

Reader Comments (47)

"Don't glaze me, bro!"

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sung to the Beatle's "Long and Winding Road"

The long and winding dough
That ladies adore
Makes me grin ear-to-ear
I've seen that dough before
It always brings me near
Think I'll buy some more

My hubby didn't think I'd be able to come up with another male body-part song so soon after Thursday's "Pina Colada" parody. He thought it was a seminal accomplishment, that I'd shot my wad and I just didn't have it in me... (I just made myself blush.)

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I have to remember not to read your blog when I'm hungry. Now, I have a completely inappropriate craving for doughnuts. lol

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

What a dilemma. Hot or Cold?

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

Ooft. Ow. Eeeeeeesh. Aaargh.

And so on.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Thaose have always been my favorites! Now I know why!

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Sharyn bwahahaha. They are nuts made of dough, so it fits :P

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "that guy's twisted, man...."
(And, fittingly enough, I found a bit of unintentional erotica in the breadbox this morning -- a few old slices of bread had turned 50 shades of gray....)

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Creme filled? That squirts out when you bite into it? Mmmmmmmmmm.....

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Don't care what it looks like, I could still sink my teeth into one....

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Never would have thought anything of these, and probably won't even notice the shape of mine in the future. Keep to the "cake wrecks" next time please. These aren't even close.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Sung to Buster Pointdexter's "Hot, Hot, Hot":

Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic


Me face on fire, filled with desire
Feelin' hot hot hot
Phallic bakin', shakin', sweatin'
Makin' me hot hot hot

Oh what to do, p***s in a twist
Donut's sweet, I can't resist
We need, a foot long
Not creme filled, but with jam

Heart goes boom boom boom boom
Yeah arroom boom boom boom

Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic
Phal-lic Phal-lic


July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Reminds me of a shop near where I used to live that sold hot & fresh "Doug nuts"

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermaggiew

I desperately want to lick the sugar off those starting at the bottom and working my way slowly...mmmmmm...sooo slowly and thoroughly toward the tip...uh, I mean top.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKW

Love me a good ol' sugar twist.... Nothing offensive about these "wrecks"!!

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Shrinkage!! (Having a Seinfeld flashback!)

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercal331

Lisa, it's funny! Geez...

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCasey

Nah, these aren't [i]that[/i] phallic.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

John, you've got your work cut out for you today, moderating all these comments. Must be hard.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlaxmom

I never wanted a sugar twist more in my entire life. And then ... a cigarette.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

These are, without a doubt, my favoritest doughnuts ever - despite being oddly phallic.

It makes me very, very sad that I cannot find a store here in OK that sells them.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

"I was in the pool! I WAS IN THE POOL!"

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

You can't sell these with a straight face. Well, I wouldn't be able to.

Amy, I about wet myself laughing at your comment.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

these are my favourites. with cinnamon sugar on the top.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEva

Ummm, our wonderful bakery makes/sells these, and they're called "Donut Twists". I never, ever looked at them "this" way

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Jamie - do you have a Safeway, Albertson's, any of the big grocery chains? They all have them in the bakery. All my neighborhood bakeries carry them too. They are only a version of a cinnamon roll. That is why I don't see the humor in them, they always look like that! They are long pieces folded over, and twisted, resulting in the shape you see here. They can't end up looking any other way! I think Safeway calls them cinnamon twists.
They are nothing new. Where do you people live that you haven't seen them before?

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

this makes my find of "Yeast Rings" in the grocery store today that much funnier... or sadder either one

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarahLS

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a doughnut is just a doughnut.

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@Sharyn oh, great! now, I think your husband's great, too! how much cool is one family going to hog anyway?? :D

yay, zoomom & mel are here!

part of why I love this site? even I never saw anything inappropriate in donut twists. (yells down the hall, "see? it's not just me, Mom!")

@SuzieQ oh, my!!

July 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Now I want some donuts drats lol. Those look..delicious hehe. Even if they look like twisted erm pretzels I want some right now :D

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Rather have 'em hot. They shrink when they're cold...

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKightlis

hubby just said "well that's a knotty predi**ament"

too funny!

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Here in the UK we get around this problem by making our dough and pastry snacks in much looser twists with square ends. It works; they don't look nearly so much like body parts. On the other hand, these are much funnier. I would happily eat one, though I'm not sure my Dad would...

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJan

@ Lisa

Nope. The biggest chain grocery store we have is Wal-Mart, and they don't sell 'em. I have hit up numerous doughnut shops (I used to go in to work at 5 AM) and the only one that sold "Cinnamon Twists"...well, they were shaped like that, but they had cinnamon in the dough, and were glazed. Not the same at all!

It's -very- disappointing. I mean, I used to be able to get these at a grocery store in Alaska! Why won't the doughnut stores in the mainland make them?

July 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

How I wish you could subscribe to the site and get updates...

July 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEva

Would be great for the non verbal break up. Look mate, it's not you, it's me (grab one from a bag, viciously bite down on 'head', ripping off with a wrench of the neck and a slight, chocked off snarl. hum tunelessly while chewing) I believe I have unrealistic expectations of this relationship. Girls, If the man looks more turned on....RUN!!!!!

July 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdanielle

Do they sell these donuts here?

July 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHelen Louise

this kind of doughnut is common in the Philippines...Pilipit-that's the local or Filipino term for that snack food..delish!

August 15, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfil

This looks like a Dutch treat. We eat them after the carnaval in spring. They're named Nonnevodden. It means Nuns rags......
Although these don't look like rags...:D

August 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPetra

These are a traditional cape malay sweet called a 'koeksuster', i will never look at them the same. i may never eat them again either.

August 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCandice

Well here in the UK we have something very similar called a Yum Yum. I remember having the aforementioned Koeksisters in Zambia. It was the Dutch/Boer influence. Yum yum indeed.

September 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKirsty

This reminded me of a show I saw on the food network, It featured Voodoo donuts Cock-N-Balls shaped raised yeast doughnut triple filled with Bavarian cream and topped with chocolate frosting! - oo er missus! lol

October 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKitschkitty

Sugar and spice, but
what are little twists made of?
*Everything* nice.

January 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@ Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, OR they have noted this shape and made it into their intentionally erotic C**k N Ba**s, which come in plain glaze or chocolate, are around 10-12 inches long, have oversized cojones, and are triple filled with cream. My sister and her friends have made these a right of passage treat for 18th birthdays.You can even have them pipe messages on them.

May 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudi W

Now I know WHY I shouldn't get my panties in a twist.

July 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDanny

I am never going to be able to make fresh soft pretzel twists again 0-o

July 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranggelic confections

Sung to "Hot and Cold" I think it was by Katie Perry all I can really remember is the chorus BUT

"It's hot or it's cold
it's yes or it's no
it look like a c**k
but we know that it's not
it twisted in sight
so wrong but so right
this site we look up
the wrecks they keep up!
You don't want to look no
but you don't have a choice so."

January 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNathan Richardson

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>