Can I Quote You On That?

Woohoo!! It's National Punctuation Day!  

 You know what to do!

I stand corrected.

Bakers, contrary to popular belief, those curved thingies are not sideways "happy hugs" for your text; they're parentheses. But I'll make this easy for you: YOU WILL NEVER NEED PARENTHESES ON YOUR CAKES. So don't use them. Ever.

No, not even for a name in all caps.

And not for anniversaries, either.

Gosh. I bet "Mom" is really feeling like part of the family right now.

 Which brings me to my next point:

STOP IT WITH THE QUOTATION MARKS ALREADY.

Why are these numbers in quotes? Are they euphemisms or something? Are these people not really 13 and 59? And why does this keep happening, anyway?

Oh.

Thanks to Monica, Debb D., Tamara M.,  Alyssa V., Amy C., Rachel C., and Aurora C. for helping me cover parentheses and quotation marks. Tomorrow: COLONS! (You'll have to check back to see which kind.)