My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Literally? LITERALLY.

If Cake Wrecks has taught us anything, it's that you have to be really careful what you say to a baker:

Houston, we have a problem.


Insert snarky comment here: ...........


This one I'm actually Ok with - but only because the baker included some this time.


Ah, the perils of buying a cake and picking it up later:

(Do you think the baker write5 all hi5/her Ss like thi5?)


"So, whaddaya want?"

"Hang on, where?"


Wow. That is SO...well, you know.


I guess we should be glad these mistakes are on cake, though, which is easily disposed of. I hear tanker trucks are way more difficult:

Well, maybe not if you have a match, but still.


And what does it say when this pops up in front of your kids' school?

I get the feeling this "shold read" something else.


So the next time you see a literal LOL iced on a cake, just remember:

Somewhere there are people with this frame on their mantels. 

(Although I bet they got it for cheap!)


Thanks to Kelsey C., Bami, Kim L., Kathy R., Tam, Anony M., John O., Jen G., & Robyn S. for literally being my most recent wreckporters.

« An Indecent Proposal | Main | LEGGO MY LEGO! »

Reader Comments (52)

I have a friend with the last name Frame so the last one would be perfect for her daughter...who loves Grandma Frame :)

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

Oh, good ol' Grandma & Grandpa Frame! So sweet. The Frame family always did border on show-offy, though.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaren

The "Insert name here" cake reminded me of Lou and Peter Berryman's classic song, "Your state's name here."

Maybe the baker was a fan.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Oh, dear. In what language should one be smoking, then? And is there a Pimsleur course for that? 'cause, you know, I'm pretty sure my accented cough could use work...

...and let me not start on long-distance charges and eagles!


(My inner red pen thanks you, BTW: "mantles"? Tee-hee.)

[Editor's note- Um, we totally meant to do that! Yeah... nothing to see here... (running off to fix it) -john (thoJ)]

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSylverre

I'm not sure "Insert Name Here" is a wreck. If the recipient is a Sam Vimes fan from the later Discworld books, they might think that is a darned funny cake. I know my husband would.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I once ordered a cake and told the decorator that I wanted it to have an outline of the state of Maryland with the words "Good Luck!" and "We'll Miss You!" I was annoyed to see that she put the word "and" on the cake, which seemed dumb (though she got everything else right). But, it didn't bother me enough to say anything. Seeing these cakes make me realize how lucky I was. It could have been so, so much worse.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

I think the "L" in "Sprinkles" has delusions of grandeur. Clearly, the invitation to the cake said casual (i.e. print) attire, but it came in cursive.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

I'm glad you did the parenthetical question on whether the baker was using 1337 speak on Adam Rauch's cake, because honestly I didn't see it as saying sold (or 5old) I thought it said 5012 (being a really crappy 2) meaning that's what time it's going to be picked up.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Did anyone else notice that the writing on the truck didn't even spell Arabic correctly in the first line?

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKayeC

I would buy that frame. Just because.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Bwaahaha my favorite wrecks-some people are too stupid to breathe :D

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I agree the "insert name here" cake does not qualify as a wreck, it is too funny and I know people who would be happy to receive it, too.
"ARBIC" is a language??

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKirri

Thanks, Lisa! Now I want a cake with the Ankh Morpork City Watch oath on it, complete with punctuation.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Did anyone catch that "Arabic" and "Arbic" are both on that truck? Seriously?

I'm glad to see that wrecking is not limited to bakery products.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAggiedog

Let me take a line from Beverly Cleary's "Ramona" series and say...

Who's this Nosmo King guy?

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

"Arbic" is "Mercan" for "Arabic". Or something.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

My sister's MIL thought that LOL meant Lots Of Love.
She went around putting LOL on everything....

post on Facebook saying someone's mom just died....

"LOL- sorry to hear that".

My sister called her up real quick to let her know that "I do not think that means what you think it means".

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLOL

Pratchet fans to boot! Yet another reason I love the Wreckie commenter community.

Also, since Andrea & I didn't successfully start an Epcot with the ipad answer to Zoomom the other day, I'm going to gleefully call Epcot on "ARBIC" and get into the bunker ahead of the crowd today. Will there be smoking (in any language) in the bunker?


January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Imagine if Dollar Stores did cakes ...

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergobblergobbler

#1 I was going to say, "Well, at least they got the flag right", but it only has 11 stripes.

#2 It's about this time that Helen began to feel like she wasn't the only woman in Charlie's life...

#3 Keep the ribbons in the sky and offa my cake!

#4 How many Adam Rauchs live in that town, anyway? I mean, it's not like someone would come in and ask to buy a cake with some random name on it, would they? You know, I think someone just might. It's not just the bakers that are...unique (bless their hearts).

#5 I'm sorry. Am I the only one who is wondering why the birthday person needs wishing good luck? Are they just that old? Are they going on the annual birthday skydiving trip? Is it a birthday/moving cake? "Happy Birthday And Also Good Luck With Moving Across The Country To That New Job You Just Accepted" would probably be too long to fit on the cake, I suppose.

#6 Such a shame; that badge looks wonderful. I reserve the right to retract my compliments if that is edible photo paper.

#7 Yes, and also, "NOSMOKING". One word.

#8 Is that some kind of acronym? Silent Haiku Orator Leadership Debate Raucous Equestrian Arbitor Department

#9 With all that yelling, shouldn't there be an exclamation point at the end?

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ok, being a 2nd generation Houstonian, and a *literal* child of the Space Age...(my dad worked @ JSC so I got to play in the shuttle simulators loooong before Space Center Houston was built *and* I was born in 1969...) Oops, now you know I'm a FOSSIL...

Anyway, so I LOVE that first cake and my husband's family worked in the oil patch so he'll love that tanker photo, and I was having a really lousy morning, but now it's ALL BETTER...mostly. ;-) (Thanks, Cake Wrecks!)

PS Fun fact: Jim Lovell on Apollo 13 did *not* say "Houston, we have a problem." It was "...*had* a problem", and he was repeating astronaut Jack Swigert. And Kranz never said "Failure is not an option.", either! :-)

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I think it means someone was going for Burr Oak.

I suppose it helps that one Kristina has sprinkles if there's more than one it could be referring to.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

All street signs in wal have to be bilingual in english and welsh , one of them now has the English words and below the ' welsh translation' that they requested by email , when they got the email back they copied it exactly ....
The sign now has the English road directions and underneath in welsh
" we are out of the office now and will respond to your request on Monday "

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

I once read the mudflaps on the back of a dump truck that said, "Do not follow to closely." It made me want to follow it just to find out where this "Closely" was.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Insert haiku here.
SOLD to Cake Wrecks commenters.
Please call with questions.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Maybe the last picture is for Allonso's paternal grandmother.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

"And what does it say when this pops up in front of your kids' school?"

It says:

A.) Time to move to a new school district.

~~ Or ~~

B.) Time to budget in private school tuition.

~~ Or ~~

C.) Time to home-school.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUldi

Kristina with Sprinkles is the Americanized version of her name. Her family changed it when they immigrated. I their ancestral homeland, she would be Kristina mit Streuseln. I don't know what her name would be in Arbic.

For a moment, I thought someone "sold" Adam Rauch! I have been watching the Abolitionists on PBS and I understand that this sort of practice is illegal now provided that Adam Rauch is a human being, of course. But when you noted it said 5old, that's different. 5olding is still legal, though I am not sure it should be.

Hey, if it ain't Burr Oak, don't fix it!

I love Grandma Frame, too. The whole Frame family are good people!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Stop trying to make EPCOT happen.

Mardi Gras is just around the corner.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonynon

Aw man, that second cake just upped my chocolate craving a billion....

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterelisabeth

Haiku Joy, I bow to you.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I am very amused by the 'insert name here'... i think it might be a great cake for an office party - the kind celebrating multiple birthdays in the same month!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennytheJones

OMG Haiku Joy you are hysterical XD XD

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@KarateLady: What's this 'fossil' stuff, youngster? I too am just old enough to remember the space age, but I'm no fossil. Kids today, I dunno...

@Haiku Joy: Brilliant. Sort of a fractal haiku.

#1 This was a cake that NASA put out for the press. Yeah, that's it.

#2 "Smith, I'm putting you on birthday cakes today. Think you can handle it? Here's the format of the inscription to use when the customer doesn't specify."

#4 This cake was ordered by a realtor to celebrate the 5ale of Adam Ranch, and there was a typo. Adam Ranch is a lovely place, but the previous owners ate fruit from the wrong tree, hence the 5ale.

#5 What is 'Goool Luck', and why would someone need to be wished that on their birthday.

#6 Is that a flotsam badge, or was this cake decorated by a committee. I'll choose the latter. Too bad they didn't write the inscription above the badge as directed.

#7 Disposing of a tanker truck is not necessarily difficult, just messy and time-consuming. Ask Dennis Weaver.

#8 This is truly reassuring, especially at tax time. @Uldi, I agree completely. Great catch, @pikkewyntjie.

#9 This one called up Tom T. Hall on the mental soundtrack.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I'm just going to take my GF brownies and head for the bunker. **backing away slowly **

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

@Haiku Joy: "That was totally wicked!" -The Incredibles

@ KarateLady: Oh, wow. I was worried we were going to get a leeetle too personal with that "...a *literal* child from the Space Age..." line. : )

@Haiku Joy and KarateLady: Hugs

@All Y'all: I less than three you guys!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@pikkewyntjie You're assuming that Adam Rauch is a human. Maybe he's not! Maybe that's what someone named his car, or computer, or stuffed bear! Although...if this cake is proclaiming that a stuffed bear named Adam was 5old, that would be kinda sad and a bit mean. Unless Adam was an evil stuffed bear, and they're celebrating the fact that they finally got rid of him.


Also I hope that good ol' Insert has a very happy birthday. I know the "Name Here ......"s myself. Nice family. I hear Derek Name Here ....... had a bit of a problem giving a statement at the police station though. They had a terrible time trying to spell the "........" part.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCelidah

I've raised kittens. Andrea, and that picture is of an immenient kitty throwdown!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Karate Lady I'm a little older than you, chick, and I'm jealous you got to play in the shuttle simulators.
Just before the shuttle program started I toured KSC with a school group and we were inside the assembly building- it rained INSIDE!! The humidity in FL is so high and it was the large volume of the one room that caused it. The scientists just sighed and pulled tarps over equipment and we kids danced around like lunatics because it was RAIN INSIDE a building. Ah, the sweet innocence of youth- we were easily amused in the days when "Pong" was the only video game.

@Craig "Duel" for the win!! Dang, we are old.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Craig - "Fractal Haiku" <snicker> You a math prof or an engineer?! And I don't think I'm a fossil, I just said what everyone *else* is thinking! I *must* think I'm young; why else would I have taken up karate a few years back?! :-)
PS - My hubby loved your Dennis Weaver comment. Said he'll show me the movie sometime...

@Andrea - Thanks for the hugs! :-) (And thanks for *not* going where I suggested with that literal space age remark...)

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@Craig- Duel reference FTW!!!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

@Barbara Anne - Wouldja believe I've never visited KSC? The closest I got was the general viewing area, 2 miles away, during a shuttle launch. I think my dad got to be in KSC Launch Control, bein' a NASA engineer & all. Anyhoo, the rest of the family was at the general veiwing area. Got down to 15 SECONDS and..."We have a hold. Repeat, we have a launch hold." We had to leave a few days later & they *still* hadn't launched!

My hubby's seen 2 launches from the Control Building; said the ground feels like it's rippling beneath your feet when the shock waves hit. He was lead engineer on a shuttle project. One time IMAX cameras were aboard, filming the mission! So there is footage of his project in an IMAX film! :-) (for a couple of seconds; they were filming a satellite launch & his white box of a project was in one side of the payload bay... :-)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I hope no one minds this link. And if you do, well, you know. Click it not.

My friend is running in a St. Jude marathon in memory of our other friend's baby who died a week ago today. If you feel so inclined, please consider supporting her as she runs to raise money for child cancer research

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy least that second cake had lovely writing on it. Kristina should thank her lucky stars she got sprinkles. It could have been mounds of poo like frosting creatures instead lol. Ahh the joys of wrecks.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

BB, I am so thrilled to get that link! I've been telling people about that song for years, but never could find it.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHappy Camper

The ISAT reference in the school picture indicates Burr Oak is in Illinois. With education budget cuts in Illinois in recent years, it's possible the school couldn't afford a U!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

@Haiku Joy ~ Hugs and blessings to you and your friends. I will be donating later today!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

@Haiku Joy: Heh. That was the only kitty picture I could find (quickly) that wasn't two kittens kissing or lying in bed together (which I thought might be awkward).

Your throwdown comment reminds me of my brother and me when we were little. We would get into a scrap and wrestle around on the floor. When my mother would come in and exclaim, "What is going on in here?", we would paste a smile on our red, blotchy faces and say we were giving each other a hug.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Jodee - thank you. It's very meaningful to me.

@Andrea - We could move to Poland and kissycheek. It's a habit I had to break when I moved back to the US from there - I spent about a week trying to kissycheek people I was meeting for the first time and not realize what I was doing until the person in question had taken a step backwards.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The last three pictures are representative of what happens when Cake Wreckerators get fired from the bakery and have to take jobs elsewhere. Because what else would an out of work Cake Wrecker be qualified to do besides:
1.) Label a tanker truck (containing highly volatile gases.) yes, nosmoking is one word in arbic.
2.) Make a school sign that shold give parents a good indication of the kind of the kind of education they should expect their kids to get there. (training up future cake wreckers evidently.)
3.) Paint ceramic frames that will be featured in gift shops across the nation. (there is nothing funny about that. It's just very pathetic.)
Quite frankly, I'm very proud of those out of work wreckerators for moving on and finding a job elsewhere, especially in this economy! Way to go wreckers!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>