My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Rising to the Occasion

[WARNING: Those blessed/cursed with a dirty mind are going to find this post hee-LARIOUS - but should probably clear the room of innocents first. Remember, Santa is watching, kids.]


There's just something about this time of year, am I right? Crackling fires in every fireplace, romantic twinkly lights in all the trees, and of course, skin-tight Santa suits. Yep. This, my friends, is the season... OF LURRRVE.

And a good thing, too. After all, it makes us more giving:

(Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.)


More attentive:

"Yes, deer."


And even when we're feeling a bit knotty:

[insert 'morning wood' joke here]

... we know this is the time when its better to bury the hatchet, not leave.


Yes, it's the season for dropping the underpants of our emotional reticence, and letting the ding-a-ling of our love shine out.

(Oh, it's happy, all right.)


I guess what I'm trying to say here, my friends, is that Rudolph has a giant wang on his face:

And you've just gotta love that.


Thanks to Sarah L., Nick, Bridget F., Luke, & C for taking a firm upper hand with these rascally wrecks.

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Reader Comments (41)

I'm so embarrassed . . .
I'm not sure how to say this:
There's wang on your face.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Do they really not see what they do??? lol@haiku joy

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Holy poo wangs!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Rudolph the poo-wanged reindeer
Had a very shiny "nose."
And when he saw the girl deer
You could even watch it grow.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

My only question is if Rudolph's nose is reserved for a Naughty Elf? I'm not sure I wanna see how that gets eaten!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Let's see, a song, a song...

"If you're happy and you know it, buy a box." Nope

"Stand tall..." Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope

"Feelings...." Whoa, whoa, whoa

"Rudolph, the red-tipped..." Y'know, I think I'd better stop now...

Hee-LARIOUS, Jen! (Not that I "got" the jokes. Nosirree... Not me.)

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What disturbed me the most is that, in the first cake, the red frosting goes from the elf's body to his shoe. It looks like he has a devil's tail. Or diahrhea.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

If you were to turn the 2nd photo 180 degrees, he wouldn't look all that happy or "attentive".
As for "Rudy"...I wouldn't touch that with a 10-inch butcher knife...("Yo! Lorena? Dessert's here!")

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Re Rudolph, now we know why all the (female) reindeer loved him and shouted out with glee.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

@Sharyn ~ I just snorted hot coffee out my nose. Thanks for that!

Totally NOT poo wang nose related... Baby Matthew was born at 3:30 yesterday morning. 7lbs 9oz 20 inches long. Sweetest little face you've ever seen!!! Daddy is my step-son so I get to be NeeNee!!!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Not a cake, but in keeping with the theme:

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Oh, thank you, one and all, for the hearty belly laughs. I really needed that.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Re cake 4:
Parents! Are you having trouble getting your kids to behave during this Holiday season? Are your threats of “Santa’s watching” falling on deaf ears? Do they laugh at that little doll sitting on your mantle? If so, Holiday Helper© is here with our new, big tool: Ru-Wang On A Shelf ™. Simply place this incredible teaching aid anywhere in your house and tell your children that Ru-Wang™ is always watching them, firm in his resolve, and reports their behavior directly back to the Big One.

There are two rules that children should know about Ru-Wang™. First, no one can touch it. Your Ru-Wang™ is a delicate things, not a toy to be handled and played with. If your child touches his Ru-Wang™ special dyes will color his hand either brown or red, depending upon whether the child handled the shaft or tip of Ru-Wang’s™ nose, and a unique mechanism will raise the nose, clearly alerting the parents that someone’s been playing with their Ru-Wang™. (Release instructions included.)

The second thing to know is that your Ru-Wang™ cannot talk while anyone is in the house. Your Ru-Wang’s™ job is to just stiffly point to bad behavior.

Each Ru-Wang™ comes in its own box cheerfully decorated with semi-recognizable Holiday Designs. Also included is a cute, illustrated story about a little boy who inappropriately touched his Ru-Wang™ and went blind.

Developed by the handy creative team of Harry Palms and Jack Hoff, this teaching tool will traumatize your children into proper Holiday Behavior. Order yours today!

Note: excessive handling of your Ru-Wang™ may render the elevating mechanism inoperable, resulting in elevating dysfunction; ask your doctor if Ru-Wang™ is right for you; some restrictions apply; not available in all states; arrives in discreet packaging. And, coming soon from Holiday Helper©: designed exclusively for bachelor parties, the MILF (Mother I’d Like to Frost) Cake Pan!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

Congrats Jodee!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@Jodee: Congratulations, to you and all! May the joy he brings be with you always!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

What. Is. Up. (pun intended) bakers?

Also, why the pretzel antlers? WHY!?!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Is that a SYRINGE NEEDLE on that Yule log?!?

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWenny

Happy birthday, baby Matthew!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Congratulations are in order! Happy NeeNee Day! Maybe new-mommy will get a celebratory wreck!

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Congratulations, Jodee!

It took me a few minutes to get the first cake. I really need to get out more.

This post gives a whole new meaning to the song, "Do You See What I See?"

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Your post cracks me up as usual, thanks! Just wanted to say that Cake Wrecks was mentioned on the Graham Norton Show on Sunday!!!!! Of course, they didn't mention your hilarious writing, but still. Is this the 2nd time he's mentioned Cake Wrecks?

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFlower Girl

@Jodee- congratulations NeeNee!!! or should I say congrolaions or something like that??? LOL and- I have learned (justifiably so) to NEVER be drinking a beverage when reading the daily CW blog, it does bad things to computers...very BAD things...(da-dum duuummm)

@sendingtheclowns- I LOST it on the Lorena butter-knife mention!!! Oh man, if my brother-in-law was not on a speaker phone conference call right now, I would be dying with laughter, as it is, my stomach hurts from holding it in. Gotta LOVE a good John/Lorena Bobbitt joke!!!

Happy Holidays to all and sundry at the best blog on the inner-webz :+))

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I'm sensing a phallic poo theme. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a creepy elf with a heart in a box.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

@Little Boy Blue ~ So very wrong on so many levels... I LIKE IT!

Thanks everyone! He is such a sweet thing! I am having the worst day and when I look at the picture on my phone of his sweet little face I can't help but smile.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Congralutions, Jodee!
Just think, in 18 years you can show the little guy all of these welcoming messages.
I wouldn't take a chance on letting him see them sooner...

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@J. pretty sure I read somewhere that it's only the female reindeer that have antlers during the winter (the males shed their antlers in the fall) so, ya know, you can draw your own conclusions about good ol' Rudy....

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Poo + Penis = Poonis

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEcchimaru

Poo-Wangs: Not just for Thanksgiving any more...

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Pam ~ In my defense, I'd already been here before @Sharyn's post. I was alerted of the up rising (hehe) situation Jen had thrown at us bright and early this morning.

**note to self** Don't drink coffee until AFTER Sharyn has posted. Or Little Boy Blue. Or mel. Or SuBee. Or... Hey, waitaminute... Where's @KarateLady??? And @Barbara Ann? Craaaaaaaaaaaaaig????

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I agree with Karen: what is with the pretzel antlers? I'I keep seeing them on "reindeer" cupcakes. It doesn't matter how carefully you bite off the loops to open them, they still look like pretzels, not salt-studded deer antlers.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermagicdomino

Karen and magicdomino: Maybe they're mutated Sika Deer from Japan.

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Haha wow fantastic

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

hahaha...thanks, Jodee...and not read CW while holding baby Matthew, either....

December 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Well I always knew that Elf on the Shelf was evil and now we have the wreck to prove it lmao. As for the turd wangs.. I say wreckerators are doing this on purpose just to see what hysterical laughter they can get from the customers refusing to buy the things lol.

December 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Rudolph the wang-nosed reindeer had a very longish nose
and if you ever saw it, you would even say it grows
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names - Duh! He has a wang on his face what did you expect?!

I considered finishing the song but it quickly digressed to a very bad place and I just couldn't go there (not publicly anyway!) Jen opens the door and I fall right in the gutter.

December 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Something is very very wong

December 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

@Little Boy Blue:
I don't have any young children left at home, but I want to order a Ru-Wang™ anyway. I could use one for the times when...uh...well, whenever I could use an extra hand, so to speak. Er, wait--I want it for when the grandchildren visit! Yeah, that's it.

December 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Congrats to Jodee. And heed mel's advice... no reading CW while holding a sleeping baby. Or really not even in the same room with a sleeping baby. I learned the hard way!

December 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentershannon

I just don't see how the decorator could look at the last cake and NOT see a giant wang on Rudolph's face. Maybe this was their last cake of the day, and they'd done a lot that day, and by that time it was just like whatever, I don't even care. My shift's over.

December 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Does anyone else thing Pic 4 looks like penis acupuncture?

December 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKym

Rudolph the poo-nosed rein-dick,
Had a very strange colored wang.
And if you ever saw it,
You would dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................................

'Tis my tribute to the last cake.

December 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRiane

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