My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

It's Not Fat, It's Fluffy

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone!!

Ok, you've already got your King Cake, of course, but what about your OTHER Mardi Gras cake?

You know, the one to frighten off small children.


Yeah, that one.

[GEEK JOKE: Looks like Lady Cassandra found a new makeup artist. Haha! ZING.]


This one could also work:



The comedy and tragedy masks are a great choice for warding off pesky youngin's:


...provided you only use the tragedy side, of course. Fortunately, most bakers are way ahead of you there:


Yep, that's a tragedy.






What's that? You're still surrounded by rug rats? Ok, time to break out the big flotsam:

Part of me wants to run away screaming, but the other half wants to glue all that stuff to my face and go grocery shopping. And if you don't think I'd move the mole to a new spot on my face every five minutes, then you just don't know me. Or Robin Hood: Men In Tights.


Well, I trust these scary selections have sent the kids packing, so let me end with a very special birthday wish:

[soulful singing]

I see your literal "colors"


I see your literal "colors"


Thanks to Heather D., Elizabeth D., Karen E., Bunny, Julia K., & Deana M. for not sending in more King Cakes. Seriously. THANK YOU. ;)

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Reader Comments (70)

I, for one, am offended. And a-moo-sed.
Is that weird?

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Nothing says tasty
like pinions in the frosting.
See? Salivating.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Mal

Anyone else think of Phanto from "Super Mario Bros. 2"?

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Sung to "Amazing Grace"

A crazy face, I think you found
A cake for wretched me
I once liked cake, but now I've found
The Fly is all I see

'Twas cake that taught my heart to fear
Poor thing was so aggrieved
The censure of the Tikis clear
They were by mole deceived

Through many flavors, sprinkle scares
And bakers who are dumb
Last cake has made me laugh so far
I've got to get me some

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Under the heading of "Questionable Taste"; of what flavour would that shiny black stuff on the second last cake taste? Licorice? Coal tar? Burnt Marshmallow? Molten Plastic? Pahoa hoa lava? Cat woman's boots? The possibilities are endless.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Moisturize me! Moisturize me!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Loved the "geek joke," Jen. It's eerily close to exactly what I was thinking when I saw that cake!

"Oh sweet Lord. I'm a walking doodle."

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterswillia

At least February is spelled correctly on the last cake.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMy goodness

I like that first Tragedy cake because it's all D:

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterInaya

I was already thinking Lady Cassandra had got herself a makeover before I finished scrolling down. Geek minds think alike!

Oh, and I would totally move the mole every 5 minutes. Tight tights!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAron

"...but the other half wants to glue all that stuff to my face and go grocery shopping."

tee hee it! And please post the photos.

As a person that can no longer eat cake, it makes it a little easier to have CD as none of these look good enough to eat.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGluten free & not by choice

"Sire, wasn't your mole...on the other side?"
"I have a mole?!"

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCherish

A fellow geek thanks you for the geek joke. ;)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

I keep looking at that last cake and, although I KNOW it says "color', all I can see is "colon". Actually, if someone ingests those curly ribbons his colon will be working overtime to process that cake.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAdrian

I read it as "Happy Mardi Gras Colon"
it's what happens after you eat the colorful cakes and swallow the flotsam

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterauntie meme

@Sharyn --- Bravo! Bravo!!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

You know, the origin of the King cake is actually a Three Kings Cake, served by Catholics at the Epiphany - when the wise men visited Jesus. Tucked inside the rather plain, non-sweet bread cake, was a tiny Infant Jesus. Whichever person found the baby was crowned King for the day.
How this fun and beautiful tradition got transferred to a pagan mardi gras feast, I'll never figure it out.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

It isn't a fly; it’s a fly mask (also known as maska domestica, flies masks or flieses maskss .) For those who are simply too ignorant to live, the fly mask cake is a cherished custom of February 12, a traditional feast day celebrated in the north-eastern, western corner of the south. They are made from generic cake mix filled with a canned filling (think hydrogenated chocolate) rolled out and cut into a masky shape. flies masks cakes are beautiful when they are made by bakers who have the proper respect for the custom.

Traditionally, a common housefly would be placed somewhere on the top of the cake. The first one to spot the fly, would smash it (with fist or a specially designed traditional fly swatter) thus destroying the cake, and saving all from having to eat it. As someone raised in the north-eastern, western corner of the south, I have many, many warm memories of past fly cake smashings. As you can imagine there were many flieses masks cakes in my past, and I don’t appreciate the mocking tone you have taken.

Please don't joke about something you don’t understand. If you ever had a really good fly mask cake
(Randazzo’s, damn it!) you would understand. Please do a little research if you don't know what something really is. Flies masks cakes are truly beautiful and delicious. Truly.

Laissez les bon mouche rouller!!!!!!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

As I was scrolling back up my daughter walks by and says "wait, wait, go back to the batman one!" She meant #5! LOL!!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMickey

Makes me glad I"m Jewish-it's easier tofind simple treats for our holidays :P

Haiku mal and Sharyn lolol

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

So funny how so many of us thought the same thing on that first cake! Wow! Cassandra really got all dolled up for the Doctor! :)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

Nice Doctor Who reference, and now that you mentioned it everytime I look at the cake I can't get Lady Cassandra out if my head....uh oh does that mean next time I watch that episode I'll be picturing cake?!?

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Kiwi

What I want to know is if Cassandra and Batman in Drag are dating...

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

@Fluffy Cow: I am dying over here! There is LOL-ing and tears streaming down the face and everything.

@Sharyn: No one else in the office today, so I sang your song out loud. Well done.

#1: I suppose that one was too easy to be worth any geek points. ; )

#2: Are those actual feathers?! Is that an actual mask laid on top of devilled eggs?

#3: I think that is the first badge recieved at wreckerator school: The Badge of Unhappy Customers.

#4: I think that one is about to be sick. He's turned an awful shade of green. Here, little guy. Have some candied ginger.

#5: I ALMOST like that one. It's odd. It's Frankenstein painted white and made up like Snidely drag?

#6: It seems like only yesterday that Mardi Gras Color was born!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh dear! Are those actual feathers on the fly cake? er... yum? There's no way those are coming off without leaving fuffy stuff behind. *blech*

LOL at SuBee's post :)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky C

Whoo hoo to cake wrecks! Read this post this morning(cracked me up as always)
Then I just saw them featured on The Chew!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercandcmom

Loved seeing your fabulous wrecks on "The Chew" today!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJEM2011

This post has cemented my fear of CCCs.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

The first one reminds me of Tim Curry on Rocky Horror Picture Show :)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMallory W

I doff my fllies mask in SuBee's honor and obvious scholarship and life experience. And humorous humorlessness. And stuff.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Moisturize me! All this laughing is cracking my skin!

As usual, I think I could be besties with all of you. I'd'd be the sycophant of the group, "Great post, Jen," "Perfect song, Sharyn," "Very pithy, Haiku Joy!"

But for today's post, Sue Bee gets to be the Queen Bee.

You are all Sunday Sweets to me.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

I enjoy wit and the humor of this blog, but the hilarous comments of this blog make it my daily addiction. I always wait until lunchtime to stalk this website, so I know that Sharyn, mel, Haiku Joy, SuBee, and FluffyCow (and sometimes KarateLady and Craig) have had some time to post at least one comment.

I died laughing at SuBee's comment today. I think it needs to go on a plaque on one of the walls of the bunker if Theadeare (sp?) approves.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAddieK

lady cassandra was my first thought - before i had gone digital and been able to see dr. who on bbc america i would not have understood it.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

The second cake could be worse. <chokes on feather> Nevermind.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNiki M

SuBee, I think I love you.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermin

I have a mole?!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterErin W.

@Sharyn ~ I have to come back and sing that loud and proud when I get home tonite. Don't think my boss would approve
@SuBee ~ That. Was. Awesome! [I think I love you, but I'm not IN love with you :)]

Been gone for a few days and finally got caught up. So sad I missed yesterday :(

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

SuBee gets to wear the Epbot hat today!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDisneymama

One of my students today was only half-listening when I told the class that I was giving up saying the word "crap" for Lent. About two beats later she said, "Wait, you had crap in your lint?"

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Mal

it looks like Whovians are everywhere! thanks for the geek giggle! :)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSueP

Lady Cassandra was the very first thing I thought of with cake number 1, before I saw you did too! FTW! Geeks unite :P

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

re #1: "Heyyy Jambiiiiiii!"

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSally

I'm embarrassed to ask, but can someone explain the Lady Cassandra reference to me?

{Editor's Note: Oops, I forgot to add a link on that! She's from Doctor Who. Google it for a few enlightening photos. :D}

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercraftycassie

@Sharyn - Thank you for continuing to grace us with your amazing songs. :-)

@Gluten free & not by choice - Now, now, dear. You're not the only one here with that affliction. Grab a copy of Living Without. They have recipes for some *great* GF cakes, trust me. And they're much easier to make than GF, DF, EF cakes, trust me. (That's dairy & egg, btw. Count your blessings.)

@Kerri - adding to the Epcot, I see. Building on yesterday, eh?

@SuBee - Flies FTW!

@Mallory W - well, I think cake #5 channels more Tim Curry than cake #1. Course, I also think cake #1 channels more Cassandra than TC...

@AddieK - <deep red blush> Thanks for the shoutout! You made my month! :-)

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

<Deep in the Cake Wrecks Bunker Den, mesmerized by a glowing screen filled with kung fu movies, KarateLady decides that she is sick of green, gold and purple. She calls out to her fellow bunker mates...>

Aaaaaannnnddddreaaaah? Cccrrraaiigg? Hey, Craig, where are ya? Fat Tuesday is almost over. Can we change the Bunker back into a bunker now?
<ducks under green, gold & purple banners and dodges Mardi Gras beads and masks while walking down the hall. AAAAH-CHOOO! Sniffle.>
Stupid feather masks. I'm really tired of it being a King Cake. <slips past Mardi Gras bead curtain into Theardare's Tribute Atrium. >
Calls yet again: "Aaaannddreeaah. Cccrrrraaaiiiggg. I'd like my cage for cage fighting back now, please?" <Hears footsteps.> Ah, there you are! Craig, for crying out loud, <turns around>
Nnnnnuuh, nnnnuhh, *nice* baby. Theeeeaarrrddaaree, where aaarrreeee youuuuu? Heeeerrreeee, kiiiittttyyy, kiiiittttyyy, kiiiittttyyy...


February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I have a sudden urge to moisturize the first cake.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSvetlana

*whispering* Shhhh, @KarateLady. We're hiding in the bunker basement until all of THAT *points upstairs* is gone! I might just have to break Theardare's AK out of the gun locker (don't worry, it's only loaded with red paint balls).

@Jodee in WA: welcome back. Wait, there was an Epcot yesterday? I was HERE yesterday! How did I miss that?! *runs off to look at yesterday's post again*

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Nice Cassandra reference. Moisturize me!

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

@Sharyn: Your songs always make me smile, but this latest one just about made me fall over over laughing. I really hope my church isn't planning to sing this during services any time soon, or I may be in the terrible position of holding in my laughter the entire time.

On another note, I was all ready to call Epcot on this one, thanks to SuBee's comment, until I reread it and saw who the author was. Is it bad that there's a small part of me that's disappointed it wasn't serious?

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCelidah

Oh man just when I thought it was safe there come more Mardi Gras cakes lmao. Though the sad face cake is sort of cute in an odd sort of way. Though I probably wouldn't eat it. Could just be I don't want my teeth going neon colors hehe.

February 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

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