It's that time of year again, when the Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys abandon their icing carrots and instead go for a spin on giant, bead-covered donuts. Check it out: this one's even on a pool-float boogie board:
Somebody get this kid a tiny drink with an even tinier umbrella, STAT.
Originally these guys - who, did I mention? Are supposed to represent the baby Jesus - were hidden away *inside* the donut, so that one lucky party-goer would end up with a chipped tooth and the dubious honor of having to bring next year's donut, thereby ensuring the continuous cycle of petty revenge.
Somewhere beneath that sticky surface lurks a tiny choking hazard. WHO WILL FIND IT FIRST?
This also led to some truly spectacular warning labels:
And yet they still ate at least half of it. THE MONSTERS.
Now, however, thanks to a bunch of downer lawyer types and other spoil sports who can't digest plastic, bakers are forced to "hide" the babies in plain sight:
"SHHHH. Just be cool, man. BE COOL."
Is that...double-stick tape?
I won't tell him we can still see him if you won't.
Of course, since the whole tradition centered around the surprise of finding the plastic baby, I'm not sure what the point is of even including one now. Unless it's just to pose it in a bunch of funny ways, of course:
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" [slowly slides down glass]
Mondays. Am I right?
Happily, though, at least one bakery has proposed a new subsitute for the plastic baby, based on the following logic: The baby is meant to represent the baby Jesus, right? And we celebrate Jesus' resurrection on Easter, right? And what ELSE do we eat at Easter?
That's right, ladies and gentlemen: Preeeeeesenting! The Peeps King Cake!!
Thanks to Pon T., Maya R., Kelley H., Valarie, Carrie T., Lauren, Kristy & Matthew P., Brandon H., & Heather M. for the sneak Peeps.