My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Jen Tells An Easter Story

Gather round, little Easter cakes, and I'll tell you a story.

"Is it a scary story?"



"But I don't LIKE scawwy stowies."




Oh, ok, ok. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Hey, you know what? It actually ISN'T a scary story, it's a happy, funny story. 

So Wilhelm, you can stop holding your breath now:




Ok, here we go. 

Once upon a time - a really FUNNY, HAPPY time - a group of bunny rabbits found a field filled with the most enormous carrots.

"Did one of the rabbits have all his legs sprouting from his chest upside down and backwards, too?

 Yeah, sure.


"Yay! Harold's in the story!"

 Yes, yes, it's wonderful. 


 Ok. So. Suddenly, the giant carrots in the field rose up and ATE ALL THE BUNNIES.


 And the bunnies were all, "AAA! We're being eaten by giant carrots!"



 "Uh, that doesn't seem very happy OR funny...."

 Well, the rabbits thought it was very funny to be eaten.



Now why are YOU guys crying?


 [sniffling] "You said this was a GOOD story."


 It is! I just haven't gotten to the best part yet! See, next a bunch of little chickens came along and found these ENORMOUS chocolate chip cookies lying around. And then the FUNNIEST thing ever happened. Haha! Can you guess? Well, can you?


You know what, never mind. It's nap time. THE END.


Thanks to Caroline V., Allison N., Rachael J., Adash, Brian & Courtney, KJ, Robin G., Carrie M., Anne B., Su M., Twist, & Larissa B. for helping show why I'm such a terrible babysitter.

« Ode to Spring | Main | Spring DOOM!!! »

Reader Comments (71)

"We've traced the cake. The cake is coming from INSIDE the house. GET OUT NOW!!!"

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Chestlegs. :|

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChartreuse

bahaha! As usual, the commentary just takes today's post to the next level!

Also, cake (cupcake? pile of frosting?) #1 looks more like a bushbaby/galago than a rabbit. Albeit a terrifying bushbaby/galago.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE! That was wonderful! Can we hear another story, Auntie Jen? *Bambi eyes*

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

that made my day, as usual!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjen

Now reread this whole thing in SpongeBob character voices...Mr Krabs is the story teller. Go.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMerry

Mmmmmm, chickwich...

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Upside down chest-legs
And rabbit-eating carrots
Easter's on it's way

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonynon

Is it wrong that I want one of those chicken sandwiches?

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

When chicks and bunnies
Are treated in this fashion
No Happy Easter

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

second cake is making a perfect Dr. Tran face.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Buwahahahahahaha!!!! Excellent, Jen! Can we have another story? Pweeeaaasssseeeeee???

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

The random ghost faces sprouting out of the head of the "upside down and backwards-limb bunny" give the whole thing a very "Ringu" vibe...

And what, exactly, IS that thing on its upper torso, just below the ghost faces, and just above its misshapen limbs?

Can I call "Humperdink" on this one?

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I love your narrative style! Remember when you first started, Jen, and you just posted one cake per day? [tearing up] "This blog has just grown up so fast." [sniffle]
Looking forward to tomorrow's hilarity!

BTW, I loved "Jack and the Spleenstalk." That was awesome.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Penman

I knew there was something evil about a veggie that spends most of its time underground.

Also, if cookies are trying to eat our chicks, is nothing safe?!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

The expressions on these were the best! You did a great job and made me laugh so hard! :)

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

This. Was. HILARIOUS. Bad babysitter? Are you kidding me? I'd totes hire you for my beyond belief!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Do you all remember that Island of Misfit toys from the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reider stop motion movie? I think we need one of those islands, but for cakes. Like could you picture Rudolph and his pals landing on the island and being greeted by Steff the giant headed rabbit? Or by Wilhelm the bloated peep. That would have been like, the greatest movie ever.

Although I kinda picture the rabbit with his legs on backwards would kinda turn the tide from 'happy romp for kids' into 'Aliens 3 but for children.'

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

Peep pod-people or cthulhu carrots?

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranon

Those bunnies being swallowed by carrots are a new classic in my book. The genius of it!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Mmmmmm, chocolate-chick cookies. Yum

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Please tell me they marketed those last ones as "Chickwiches."

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKayeC

I totally thought that bunny with the upside down legs was just giving two thumbs up. He just trying to be the fonz!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLynn M.

That's hysterical! I've always been a sucker for macabre bedtime stories, and have been known to terrorize my own children with them. Of course now they're a suspicious and cynical 8 and 9 years old and they'll look at me sideways and say, "Is that REALLY true?...."

Keep up the good work!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVanessa

Yay I love stories :D

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

ROTFL!!! If you like that, you gotta check out a story called "Auntie Eslpeth's Halloween Story" by Esther M.'s just up our twisted little alleys!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue M

That was a lovely story, Jen, but why does harold have a tail where his teeth should be?

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

I laughed...I cried...I ate Peeps..... Please...there has to be another book....!
And thank you for answering that age-old question: where do bunnies come from: carrots!

@Sharyn: lol...classic line from a classic movie!! Maybe they could re-do it as a bunny-slasher flick with a marshmellow chick.....

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

To paraphrase Firefly, these cakes look like they were made with, y'know...longing. Like the bakers really longed to see a bunny or a chick.
Perhaps because they've only heard of them by rough description.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

In stores throughout the land, in a time that employees are desperate to forget (three hours before opening), a mandatory meeting is called...

Voice From Above: (barely audible) "Good morning, everyone, I would like to..."

[Sound of P.A. being turned up to "Tactical Level"]

"BWEEEEEEEEEP" (Off mic, but still audible in the nearly empty parking lot) "Crud! I still can't figure this thing out!" (Another voice) "Turn that knob down. No, down. That's it."

[Somewhat closer to normal volume level]

"Heh, heh. Bet you're all awake, now, eh? Hee hee. As I was saying, I would like to thank you all for attending this mandatory meeting, which you'd be fired if you didn't attend."

Anonymous employee: "It."

VFA: "Yes, it's that time, again. Time to get out the deco packs we all love, and put our Imagination Hats on!"

Anonymous employee II: (quietly) "I'm imagining what he'd look like, wearing a deco pack and stuffed into the display case."

VFA: "So let's...Make...Some...Cakes!"

Employees: [sound of finger claps]

Anonymous employee III: (to group) "I just looked in the office -- he's not even in there! That mean's he's doing this from home again!"

Group: "#^&##&**@!!!" Various: "Well, let's do this." "Where do these go?" "I dunno. Just put on your Imagination Hat!" "You're going to be wearing this cake as a hat in another second." "I need coffee! Anyone have change for a ten?" "What's a 'ten'?"

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

It is not wrong to want one of the chickwhiches / chocolate-chick cookies, because that is the same thing I thought! And Amanda, I have found myself using that exact same Firefly quote on this page before :)

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle

Tell me you have a publisher for this story.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGranny K

Awesome, hilarious post! The cakes illustrate the story so well. The funniest thing, to me, though, is that I had just gotten the page loaded on my computer at work when a coworker walks by behind me and comments "Oh, that's cute!", in regards to the very first "bunny" at the top. Wow. Guess that explains why some wreckerators thinks their cakes are ok!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Jen, you are genius! GENIUS, I say!

And I would totally go for a chickwhich or Peep-eating carrot cupcake right now. Stupid diet.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

OMG Jen's storytelling plus AMAZING commentary from all = NIRVANA.

Yep, time to shut down the internet & go home cuz it aint ever gonna get better than this.

[Just kidding, Jen, Puleez don't stop doing Cake Wrecks!!!]


March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Thank you for yet another incredible post!!!

But Jen, Jen, oh Defender-of-the-Oxford-Comma: chickens lay eggs, ENORMOUS chocolate chip cookies can only lie around. I count on a fellow member of the grammar police... I know the spell checker must have done it!

[Editor's note- Good call, duck! I totally missed that last night. -john]

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterduck

Nest on Jen's list of things to do:
Write a children's book!
I would so buy it!

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Is it wrong of me to want to recreate cupcakes with carrots eating peep bunnies? I'm not sure those are really wrecks... they are just purposely twisted. :D

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnM

"... and I want the cupcakes to have rabbits eating carrots"

"got it, rabbit-eating carrots."

"... and what do you think, cream filling? raspberry filling?"

"I feel like you can't go wrong either way"

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

This was WONDERFUL!! Harold was my favorite.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngela


March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDyan

Tentacled carrots
Do no harm to baby chicks
They want the bunnies

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonynon

Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry...

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

You had me at "Wilhelm".

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJane

After all those millenia of being eaten by rabbits, the carrots just wanted a little payback. Perfectly reasonable ...

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril Fool

And here my first thought for #5 was, "Do you even lift, bro?"

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSentath

Those Chocolate-Chick cookies remind me of Tom and Jerry. Anyone remember the episode with the suicidal duckling that kept trying to get Tom to eat him? Ah, the carefree, uplifting cartoons of days gone by...

I, too, sort of like those peep-eating carrots. Perhaps they were purchased from Seymour at Mr. Mushnik's flower shop?

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

"I'm a little upset now. All those chicks and bunnies look really scared Jen. How could you do that to such sweet, innocent, malformed icons of the Holy Easter holiday and spring?", said the wreckarator as she bit the head off a peep and stuffed him back in the plastic wrap. "I mean just look at their sad scared little eyes and faces contorted with horror! Are you proud of yourself Jen? Well? Are you?"

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjenjen

I just laughed until I cried. And I don't laugh on most days. Funny with a great big capital F. My 16 year old son just came in here to see what the heck I was laughing at. Thanks for the smile.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Ann

Jen: Whenever I am having an awful day, I come on this site. Always makes me laugh so hard. I share it with a fellow suffering coworker. Its our secret pleasure in the office.

March 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia C

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>