It's National Unfriend Day, a day for all you Facebookers to get out there and purge those friend lists!
Of course, sometimes unfriending people CAN cause bruised feelings, but not to worry; I am here to help.
See, the trick is to make your soon-to-be-dumped friends GLAD you unfriended them. How? EASY!
STEP 1) Post your choice of the following carefully selected photos & captions to your Facebook wall today:
Caption: "I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT!!"
"I know I missed a bunch of birthdays the past few months, so this one goes out to all of you:"
"Actually it's just a picture of a cookie cake - and wait'll you see the 350 photos of the lake I'm about to upload!!"
STEP 2) Next, for more targeted effectiveness, post at least one of the following directly to the soon-to-be-unfriended's Facebook wall. Trust me, after this, they'll never even miss you.
"Have I mentioned I don't have insurance? But don't worry; I'm sure that'll buff out."
"Your secret is safe with me! Good luck making up with [significant other's name]!"
"I TOLD you it wasn't herpes!"
STEP 3) Congratulations! You may now "unfriend" at will - assuming, of course, everyone hasn't already saved you the trouble.
Thanks to Rita C., Nancy L., Anony M., Nicole T., Samantha B., Jacob H., & Katie D. for helping put the "social" in "antisocial."