My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Great Turkey Uprising

My friends, have your past turkey cakes failed to rise to the occasion?


Did they fall flat at inopportune moments?


Or did the mere sight of your turkeys give guests a sudden headache?

Well, not this year!

This year, bakers are erecting new and improved turkey cakes guaranteed to satisfy!

Your turkey will stand taller:


Serve more:


And keep those dinner guests coming!

Plus stay extra moist!


So forget all those disappointing performances of the past, and get ready to be extra thankful this year:

"Well, howdy, pilgrim."


Thanks to Zach C., Sara G., Rene R., Colleen W., Mia M., Mike L., Marty G. & Danny R. for the fowl play.

Important Note to Bakers: Pssst. Guys. Remember to put a face on it, so no one gets suspicious, mmkay? Mmmmkay. Thanks.



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Reader Comments (37)

Warning: If your turkey remains erect for more than four hours, contact a baker immediately.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The inner 12 year old in everyone is about to be unleashed…
*giggling and pointing*

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Regarding that last fine, upstanding member of society: it really doesn't need a face; it already seems to be pretty happy to see us. =^-.-^=

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I don't think I want to keep my guests coming... No, I KNOW I don't want to keep my guests coming.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Gobble, gobble...

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

It's interesting to note that at least one of the founding fathers was not pleased with the choice of the bald eagle as the symbol of our fledgling nation:

"For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly…For the Truth the One Eyed Snake is in Comparison a stand-up guy, and withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Tallywhacker of Courage, and would not hesitate to despoil a Grenadier of the British Guards were they wearing a fetching frock paired with a charming red coat. “
Benjamin Franklin, 1775

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Y'know, I saw a turkey cake at Hannaford's the other day that actually LOOKED like a turkey and not a... Ahem. I was amazed - and slightly confused. How did they manage THAT? Now I think of it, I've never seen a wreck in their showcases - and Lord knows, I'm always looking for one! I'll have to look for a store with a less-competent decorator, I guess.

No. 2: "Damn! Forgot my Viagra!"

No. 4: That looks too much like diseased pooh to be appetizing.

No. 7: Meet Mr. Wankey, the Pilgrim Penis Pooh. Mr. Hankey is jealous.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

OMg sharyn XD as for the cakes are they BLIND?? How do they not see?!?!?!?!?!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

In my head canon, Jen just sits and waits gleefully every year for thanksgiving and the inevitable influx of phalluses disguised as turkeys so she can unleash all of these excellent double entendres.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterYota

No! No, no!! Do NOT put a face on it.

That thought makes me want to become a nun.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRuthie

Yum! I just love a cake with icing.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Outside of all this phallic poopiness I just came to the realization that you can't even tell most of these frosting monstrosities have any cake to them- completely without substance! As the red queen would say, "off with their heads"

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

This is what a turkey looks like:
We've gotten so far away from what a turkey actually looks like that we now just make vague shapes and colors and say "Look! A turkey!" So if it actually resembles, er, something else, who is surprised? At this point, people could put anatomical models of body parts on a cake and say "Look! A turkey!" and we'd just nod. And then gobble it up (snicker).

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

@TLC: Nice one bringing South Park into this! Totally works!
@SuBee: Your first post reminded me of Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughn's character *ahem* came at the table! LOL
I think the bakers are trying to help people who want "wealthy but aggravating Great-Aunt So-And-So" die of shock at the Thanksgiving table! But the joke's on them. Great Aunt So-And-So is indestructible so the prank will only get you written out of her will just in the off chance she doesn't outlive you all! Best stick with the pumpkin pie. ...Just be careful how you squirt the whipped cream...!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

For some reason I want to put on some sad Sarah McLachlan music and do a 3 minute PSA for the ASPCA to end the suffering of the terribly abused feathered poo wangs.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

If you see colors like that around your cock, see a doctor immediately.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Last Cake: Mmmmmm......spam icing.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCakeFan

@SaraCVT ~ I just snorted in the most unladylike fashion. Thanks for that!

My daughter (the one currently growing my grandson!) told me today that she wants to make something different for Thanksgiving this year. Maybe this post will give her some ideas!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Is that Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo ... or are you just happy to see me?

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKate

That last one needs a sound track consisting of a trumpet blast: ♫ TA DA ♫

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJan

the Dutch have a saying about the next to the last one. It's "Drol met een hoot op!"
Translated.... Turd with a hat on!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMary

At my local chain grocery store bakery the other day, I swear they had a *turkey* cake on display right next to a sperm balloon cake. I was going to take a picture, but I didn't think I could keep a straight face!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbethanyr32

Gosh, it's Pooh Wang time again already? My how time flies...

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

What's with the red dot on #3? I think he might have a bad case of herpagonorhchlamidasyphilitis...

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHoJo

The third one looks like someone took a dump on a pile of leaves... Just sayin'...

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermymren

That 3rd one looks like a bigpiece of poo with balls. LOL!!!

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMeMe

Have you seen the cakes they are making to look like roasted turkeys? Ugly! Especially with the bright orange spray icing...

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterselkie

i wish we had thanksgiving in Australia just for a turkey cake and laugh when the guests gobble it down.

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Are they turkeys or are they "turd-keys"?

November 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Well I know Thanksgiving is coming due to the fact all the turdkeys and poo wangs are out and about in bakeries lol. Thank goodness I bought a pie instead otherwise I think that the hubby and I would laugh ourselves into a coma if we got one of those cakes.

November 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

When they have a turkey on the table and a turkey cake on the table, do they ever cut the cake when they intended to cut the turkey? Just wondering.

November 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Do you mean like these?

Jen's seen them all right and, thanks to her, so have we all.

November 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Q1: Why would someone make these?
Q2: Why would they then put them up for sale?
Q3: Does anyone actually buy them ?
Q4: Does anyone actually EAT them?
Q5: Does anyone have any Pepto-Bismol?


November 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Do you ever wonder is there any cake under all that icing? I wonder too.

November 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterme

Is that a turkey cake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

November 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCTMom

.... oh turkey sad bakery box turkey #2, its ok... its happens to everyone at some point.

November 27, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershortcake Kel

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