My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

These Santa Cakes Are Holiday Nightmare Fuel

You better watch out


You better not cry


Better not pout

I'm telling you why!




He sees you when you're sleeping!


He knows when you're awake


He knows if you've been bad or good


So be good

or he might just murder you!



You better watch out
You better not cry!

(He'll hear you)


You better not pout
I'm telling you why


Thanks to Mark, Carissa B., Michelle H., Leah S., Eloise C., Vicki L., Christine K., Moe L., & Kristin B. for inspiring us to board up the fireplace come Christmas Eve.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Different Madonna, Different "Holiday" | Main | Sunday Sweets: Merry & Bright »

Reader Comments (39)

WHICH town??? I'm just curious! That's all! I'm NOT afraid, of course. No, NOooo.... Not ME. =^O.O^=

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Psycho-Claus is comin' to town!! Happy Hole Days, everyone!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne from GA

I'm first AND this is my first comment ever!
I love cake wrecks, thanks so much jen and john (thoj)!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterN

That song has creeped me out since I was a little kid. We call it Santa Stalker.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I'm thinking that the second cake is an albino Wookie!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

My brother's nephew is apparently so afraid of Santa coming into his house while he's asleep that last Christmas he lay awake in bed, terrified, until 4:00 am or so. I don't think we should show him these cakes . . .

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

#4 is not a wreck at all, it is a truly excellent rendering of john(thoJ)'s comic stick-figure in frosted-cookie form. With a Santa hat.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterOtherJim

AaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh *deep breath* AaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh And so forth.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Wow, it's pretty bad when a ccc (ptooey!) (cake #6) is the best-crafted of the lot!
What the HELL is going on in that third-to-last cake? It looks like violently dominant Santa has the other two chained up to something in the core of the cake!!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Auuuuggghhhh D:

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1


We Jewish kids didn't realize just how good we had it, back in the day...

Yesterday I was cruising the Fred Meyer bakery section to see if I could find any festive wrecks for you. But nothing terrible caught my eye. Even the CCCs were few in number and had relatively normal levels of icing. The mini-sheet cake "wrapped packages" were downright cute. (And the fruitcakes were hidden in a remote corner where they couldn't jump out and scare anyone.) Oh, well. Perhaps in 2015...

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms_xeno

A female Santa! Or is that Mrs Claus?
You know when it is sooooo cold outside, but you have to be outside, and the wind is blowing, and darn it your nose starts running (don't you hate that?) and you can't stop and search for a tissue because that would mean taking your hand out of your pocket, taking your glove off, searching in pockets and/or purse for a tissue.... and your hand would freeze and fall off before you found one? So you just let it run, hoping no one will notice? And then, because it's so cold, the snot freezes?
Yeah. Now we've seen that in frosting. Yech.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

My youngest has always been terrified of Santa. I'm not showing her this post. Dude, I'M a little afraid now! O.O
Our office Christmas party is this afternoon. That means this day will end with booze! WOOHOO!!!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

oh. my. goodness. It's all in the EYES!!!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmmay

Too much Star Wars on the brain! The first one had C3POeyes, the second one looked like an albino Wookiee, the next an albino Ewok, from there it was Wookiees and Ewoks all the way down to the Jedis.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

#2 has eyes that remind me of the "evil Frosty"If in the movie "Christmas with the Kranks". Free Santa! Free Santa!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

My husband just screamed: that's not Santa, that's a bloody grumpy cat!!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAtukana

Deck the halls with Santa cake wrecks
falalalala lala lala
looks like Santa's been in a sleigh wreck
falalala lala lala
Now we all are really freaked out
falala lalala la la la
Cue the comments and the shout outs
falalalala lala la la!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

I think #4 the big cookie cake is cute. I'm not saying it looks like Santa. I'm just saying it is cute.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I think all of these Santas will be watching the movie Big Eyes this weekend. At least, I'm hopeful! These really are all very "interesting."

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCathy Kirchner

Jolly old elf, or CIA spook.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeter Funk

Cake #1 has the eyes of Geoff Petersen from The Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson (R.I.P.)

Cake #8 isn't's Papa Smurf.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Did the baker of the seventh cake mix up Christmas and Good Friday?! Those Santas along the sides of the cake look like they've been crucified.

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I actually like the piping on the second one, how the beard and eyebrows are in long strokes but the hair and sideburns are in dots. If it wasn't for his cold, dead eyes...

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

#3 looks like Christmas Grumpy Cat!

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Sooooo creepy 😳

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDmaciag

seriously have these guys ever seen Santa?

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercarschmn

Wait a minute... Facebook (thanks to all those fitbit-type things) sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake and (thanks to abundant over-sharing) knows if you've been bad or good...

Ergo, Facebook is Santa.

Ergo, Facebook is coming to get us...?

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharon B

Can't sleep Santa will get me,
Can't sleep Santa will get me,
Can't sleep Santa will get ........

December 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

@SaraV: Oh, no! I hadn't even known that about Geoff Petersen from Craig Ferguson!!! I was watching it every night for almost forever, but had been missing it off and on, lately (falling asleep). I loved those two---also, no more Secretariat?!? What next! :-(

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Pouty Santa is all whatevs.

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Lol wow. If I were a kid I would definitely hide from these santas. Or just block the chimney and hope he can't get in and eat me. Either way these cakes are perfect for horror movies lol.

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

No. 2 is a Bigfoot Santa.

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Say what you like, number three is kind of cute.

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Santa sounds like a deranged stalker

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhannah

Nice ordering of the photos here, Jen. The first one is just weird enough to hint at what we're in store for, as the pictures progress from bizarre to creepy, then to out-right disturbing. By the end of the post, we find we've come full-circle, as our facial expressions match that of the first Santa cake. An expertly crafted journey of holiday-cake-wreck hilarity/horror!

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Ha! My 12 year old son came up to me a couple weeks ago; "Mom, that Christmas song is disturbing."
"Which one?"
"The one about Santa coming to town. Listen to it. Santa's a stalker!"
These wrecks would suggest he's right.

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTanja

Here come Santa wrecks, here come Santa wrecks
Right down the bakery lane
He's got a bag that's filled with fear
For girls and boys again
Hear those registers jingle-jangle
Oh what a piteous sight
So jump in bed and cover your head
'Cause Santa wrecks come tonight!

December 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

Anyone else noticed the first one is a heart shaped pan upside down?

December 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJustina

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