My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

New Year's: Ringin' Wreckage

As we contemplate a New Year's Eve filled with drink and debauchery - or maybe an Agents of SHIELD marathon with the cats [WINK] - remember, friends, that wine glasses don't work like this:


And they definitely don't look like this:


And while these bakers have obviously never seen a champagne bottle before, let's be grateful they at least know they're green:


(I can't even with those glasses. CANNOT. EVEN.)



So get on out there, wrecky minions, and enjoy your tubing tentacle babies!

They, uh, may be a little stale.


Also, have fun, stay safe, and never - EVER - over-emphasize a greeting with the foolish and reckless use of an unwarranted exclamation mark:

Thank you.


Thanks also to Hannah, Nick G., Kathy R., Leah and John, Emily K., Meg G., and Grace S., for being especially frindly.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« New Year's Evolution | Main | Wrecking By the Book »

Reader Comments (26)

Happy New Year Jen and John ! (I HAD to use an exclamation mark, just for you guys).
May your year be Healthy and Safe and thank you from the bottom of my wreckie heart for the year of laughs, tears (for when I laughed so hard I cried) and wet pants (for when I almost peed myself laughing).
You make each day a LOT more fun each and every time I visit my favorite web site in the whole globe.
Raise a glass to another year of wrecks and chuckles, gafaws, ughs, wtf's and all the rest. God Bless guys!
From your Wreck-A-Holic, Cookiemama.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

May I seond Cookiemama in her salute? Thank you for helping me survive what turned out to be a very crazy year.

I'd toast you, but the cork of the champagne bottle seems to be drawing sperm to it, much like cake no. 3. You know, I always thought that champagne and procreation were linked, but not quite so obviously.

Happy New Year to you, the cakes and the kitties!!!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Picture #4 is really on to something. I mean, long-stemmed shot glasses? Fabulous! You can advertise them with patented "NEV-R-STAND" technology!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBob Scrivens

Bold Slang Whine

I'd like to make a toast right now
With a teeny champagne flute
And wish you guys a happy year
'Cause you're always such a hoot

It's two thousand fourteenst that's gone
Twenty fifteend is here
Let's drink to health for Jen and John
With a giggle, wink and sneer

Happy New Year everyone!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

WTF are those babies D: they look like a lab accident. Happy new year guys :D

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

re: the last photo--Happy New Year to the Best of "Stick figure, Pi, Mu, Hieroglyph"?
I just can't keep up with all the latest emoticons and texting language any more!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDominic

#3 at least the champagne is from a good year.
#4 It looks like they are celebrating an hour early. (Unless it is for the parents in the Central time zone who watch the ball drop in Times Square at 11 and yell "HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now go to bed!")

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEd

Second to the last - Mr. Bubble's babies ?

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Happy New Year to the Best of Frinds; John and Jin!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusie Q

Thanks, Cake Wrecks. Since I started reading here in earnest, I've become obsessed with the idea of inventing some gadget or magic spell which would make CCCs up to 75% less awful.* Don't worry. Once I make my billions on the patent, I'll make sure you get a generous glob of frost-- er, PROFITS! I meant PROFITS!-- for being my inspiration.

Best of wishes for the New Year, Everyone! :)

*Well, we already know that a better hiring process, better wages and better training would take care of it, but the modern market doesn't want that, right? What it wants are gadgets and spells...

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms_xeno

I wasn't aware until I saw cake #4 that some people toast the new year with Listerine, or, as it says on the bottle, The Bubla\'

Thank you for making me laugh every day. That goes for J&J as well as the brilliant commenters on this blog. I had a horrendous year and knowing I could get a good laugh here meant a lot to me.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFM

@SuBee -- what a wonderful wrecky song. (Sniff)
As she said, here's to Twenty Fifteend as we pop the, uh, cork for a toast!
To another year of daily Cake Wrecks!
(If there's treatment for this daily habit, I don't want it.)

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Happy! New! Year! Jen! And! John!
Thanks. for. all. of. the. laughs. and. for. being. the. best. blog. frinds. ever.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

The last green bottle of bubbly looks like it was supposed to be a Christmas tree. It didn't sell, so it got repurposed, maybe??
Jen and John, I raise my (long-stemmed shot) glass to you in thanks for a wrecktastic year! (and I don't just mean the cakes: my computer has been in serious danger from spontaneous coffee spewage in the last four years!) May there be many more laughs to come!
Happy New Year everybody! :D

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

#6 Awww; Coneheads are so cute when they're little.
#7: Frinds don't let frinds decorate cakes drunk.
I feel especially sorry for the last cake (the unwarranted exclamation point). They couldn't even afford to dot their "i". Should we take up a collecton? ;-}
*Special to John & Jen: Thanks for olive the hard (-to-look-at) work that you do*, to give us all belly-laughs (and belly aches)! Happy new sneer!
*Not to be confused with Olive, the other reindeer...yukyuk.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Does that first champagne bottle say "champagne from a good year"?

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdurpgoldfish

#6 Awww; Coneheads are so cute when they're little.
#7: Frinds don't let frinds decorate cakes drunk.
I feel especially sorry for the last cake (the unwarranted exclamation point). They couldn't even afford to dot their "i". Should we take up a collecton? ;-}
*Special to John & Jen: Thanks for olive the hard (-to-look-at) work that you do*, to give us all belly-laughs (and belly aches)! Happy new sneer!
*Not to be confused with Olive, the other reindeer...yuk yuk.
Oh-and Subee? I think your "Bold Slang Whine" is probably a better bet than my "Old Dang Swine" (which is a little like Cold Duck, but less wine-y/whine-y.) =^~.-^=

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

First, thank you so very much for the gift of giggles throughout the year! And #3 might just be a green slug with explosive diarrhea.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStL Mom

Yes, a very Happy New Year to the best of frunds!
Jen and John (THOJ) and Sharyn and the wrecky crew for working hard so we have something to laugh at every day. And to the wrecky wregulars who make the comments section an awesome club to be in!

I saw my first pan-wow on the weekend! Of course I pointed and proclaimed loudly - look! Pan-Wow! And nobody knew what I was talking about. But that's okay because I knew YOU ALL would! And I was not alone in the world.

Keep warm, be safe (don't drink or text or put on your makeup or watch the DVD and drive) and wreck on!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

A wonderful New Year to Jen, John, the CakeWrecks staff and everyone here. Thank you for the many, many laughs!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterakathleen

The best of "frunds?"

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

Happy New Year Jen, john(thoJ) and the CW Crew! Thanks for another year of laughter, and here's to many, many more! And, Happy New Year to all the Wreckies! See you in 2015!

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

According to wreck #4, I understand that at 11:00 we are supposed to drink carbonated Scope out of candlesticks. What I don't understand is why.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJane

When the rubber hit the road, the Good Year champagne rolled over and got flat. Happy New Year, y'all.

December 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Hmm, I think those are baby Michelin Men. The Michelin Man's true name is 'Bibendum' from the Latin verb word meaning 'to drink'. Which is a weird name for a guy meant to be made of stacked tires, but this picture explains all. Born as Champagne foam, he grows up to be tires. Most of us get tired as we age, he just gets there sooner.

Wikipedia has a nice article on Bidendun, though it fails to explore his infant form, instead giving some malarkey about a beer poster. This picture of infant Bidendums may be a first, spirited out of the nursery where they are first poured, and later vulcanized into tires. This unusual manufacturing process helps explain their high price.

The skinny shot-glass flutes make me smile. They may be all wrong, but they have style. John's cartoon man would look good with one of those.

January 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMark in SF

Lol looks like the wreckerators started drinking hours ahead of time. Wow. I cannot stop laughing at the 2012 baby things lmao.

January 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>