My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Our World Cup Runneth Over

Bakers, let's talk about soccer.

Because of all your balls...

...the soccer ball seems to be the most difficult for you guys to grasp.


And believe me, when it comes to ball grasping...

...we want you to have a firm grip on the situation.

(John: "Uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..."
Me: "SHHHH.")


For example, some of your balls are too fuzzy:


While others are lumpy and uneven:


Some of your balls are too small:


And others... well... are they supposed to be that color?


Look, bakers, we know that Soccer balls come in all shapes and sizes, and each is uniquely beautiful in its own way.

Unless it's this way:

Seriously, man, put that away. You're just embarrassing yourself.


And to all you World Cup fans out there:

Hang loose, you crazy nuts, you!


Thanks go Andrea C., Jennipher D., Charesse, Becky N., Diane L., Amy N., Abi H., & Ilana W. for the balls-to-the-wall excitement.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (36)

Gosh, I hope this doesn't make any soccer fans get testes -- um, I meant testy... (Oh, balls...)

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

What, no Pokeball?

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

These balls are crazy-made by someone insane
Just looking at them causes me mental pain
I have to gasp, it’s hard to grasp
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire

Furry? Lumpy? These balls are just sick
That basketball court looks just like a…well,not right
We love soceer, these balls we fear
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire

Kick it baby, woo, it’s a mess
Smash it baby, looking at it causes too much stress
A wreck, It’s dreck, there’s just one word for these it’s “blech, blech, blech”

These aren’t ball-y, some are not even round
Perhaps the bakers were too tightly wound
I have to gasp, they’re hard to grasp
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Regarding the second cake I must say ohhh myyy ;) sharyn and Suebee hehehehe to the bakers all i can say is DX

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Cake #6 is actually a highly accurate representation of the rare, endangered Preppy-Shelled Tortoise of Kungamunga (preppipinkus shellisloppius), an obscure island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar. During mating season, the female, as shown in the photo, makes nests out of her own snow-white poo, one nest for each egg. The adorable green offspring eat the eggshells upon hatching, and look! They're already copying Mummy's clever survival behavior, the product of bazillions of years of evolution, namely lying around trying to look inconspicuous. Aren't they adorbs? SQUEEEE!!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMoonrabbit

@Sharyn and @SuBee: well done…you’ve got a good handle on this today and I’m kinda tired, so I’m gonna hit the sack…. (And a shout-out to Team USA -- our North American Defenders: GO NADS!)

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Balls-to-the-wall gold stars of funny-ness go out to Jen, Sharyn, and SuBee
That's a prize I just created. Celebrated by a gold star with a smiley face and a cake wreck of your choice.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

1) barbed wire wagon wheel, malformed number sign, and stitches on a wound

2) Um...yeah...movin' right along... (Except to say this team seems up for anything...

3) Is this a diseased Tribble?

4)CCC (Ptooey!) and yet, it looks kinda yummy

5) Why did someone place a chocolate chip bird doo on that sea anemone?

6) Scariest specimen! I think it's a diseased brain, laid out next to some green eggs and no ham

7) Yikes! Just...yikes!

8) Happy Soceer to you too! You're not trying to pander to the drunk masses and cash in mercilessly on the trend of the moment are you? Of COURSE not. You're obviously a smart cookie!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

The positive- none appear to be blue

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

My brother actually had a pink and green soccer ball like that when we were kids. The cake may not be great, but the colors aren't unbelievable.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

That pink and green cake looked very much like the soccer ball that one of the girls on my 9 year old son's co-ed soccer team had last season. Actually it is pretty rare to see the white with black hexagon soccer balls anymore. My daughter's soccer ball is pink, my son's is blue, we also have one that is golden rod with blue that supposedly glows in the dark- we're not crazy enough to play soccer in the dark. My favorite was the one that one of the other girls on my daughter's team had- it was light pink with Hello Kitty! Now, off to the internet to see if I can find a Death Star soccer ball!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

The snot on cake 6 makes me queasy. But Mel has given me a reason to become a soccer I can say GO NADS!

@Sharyn and @SuBee ...wonderful as usual.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Welp, time to stop following Cakewrecks.

I didn't know you supported violence and harmful behavior under the guise of "celebration". Makes me sad.

[Editor's note- Wait. Waitwaitwait. Wait. Lemme make sure we're on the same page, here. We, a funny cake site, put up funny soccer ball cakes accompanied by testicle puns, right? We did this because apparently, there is some big game or something that everyone is talking about, right? And your well-thought-out conclusion is that we support violent and harmful behavior because of it? Because of cakes? Because of poorly done cakes? Because we posted cake wrecks on a site called Cake Wrecks? Well okay, then. I'm sorry to see you go. Have a fantastic day! -john (the hubby of Jen)]

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #2 - Are those arrows pointing to where the balls go or perhaps where they are?

Someday, I will make a CD of Sharyn's and SuBee's parodies and release Cake Wrecks Greatest Hits. (Misses?)

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

You'd have to be pretty ballsy to display wrecks like that in public.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

@john (thoJ) ~ You're much nicer than I am. I have lots to say in rebuttal but since this is a family show I'll simply say trolls suck, especially the anonymous ones.

Happy Soceer to you too!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The ACDC song " Big Balls" is now stuck in my head.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKeeley

Can I have the deviled eggs on #6?

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershannon

#6 - If your bakery uses guacamole in place of frosting, you might have a Cakewreck.

Maybe Anonymous above was thinking of soccer hooliganism, which IIRC the European and English have been cracking down on pretty hard over the past few years. Or the recent riots in Brazil? *shrug*

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

I needed a reason to care even a little bit about soccer and HERE IT IS! Wrecks, @Sharyn, @SuBee, @Mel and then some weirdo that found some way to be offended (although, I couldn't see it, and I was REALLY looking). Truly makes my day! Testy, NADs, and "uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..." Classic!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

For Jen and John (thoJ) and Kool and The Gang (Yes, that's YOU!)

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

There’s a party goin’ on right here
Extolling violence – It couldn’t be more clear
So bring your nunchucks and your phasers, too
We gonna celebrate your fury with you

Come on now
Let’s all kick some balls and have a good time
We gonna smash CCCs and have a good time

Support our harmful action
If you don’t, you’ll end up in traction

Everyone on Cake Wrecks now
Come on!!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Am I the only one that sees a poodle in #4?

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmie

I'd comment about how much I like (most) everyone's comments (Look! 2 musical offerings from SuBee!!) but first I have to go punch a Care Bear. I don't really want to, but I feel this inexplicable urge...

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I was going to ask the same thing as shannon above, cause those green deviled eggs laying on the bed of grass next to the pink & green stained-glass planetarium in picture #6 look delish!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjudy

@SuBee ~ I'm most impressed that you put the thoughts in my brain into a song. Did you do some timey-wimey-wibbly-wobbly thing or what? Nicely done!

@mel ~ I've been giggling at GO NADS all day! Thank you!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@The Former CB: well done!
@Knittedbooties, @CbushLite, @Jodee: Thank you! And remember…it’s always good to support the NADS….

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Theadare might be listening...we will let him look after the situation.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Consider this your somewhat less than daily reminder that frequently grasping, and checking over, your balls in a warm bathtub is not only fun, but a life-saver.
You won't ever see a Race for a cure for testicular cancer, nor a telethon, nor much of anything else but mockery and derision over it-- but it's a far more common killer of young men than you think. So check those balls, gentlemen, for lumps, sore spots, and assorted ickiness, and talk with your doctor. Because you deserve to live too.

[Editor's note- Great point, khereva. -john (thoJ)]

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Cake 7 needs to come with a small tube of frosting and some clues so the crossword can be filled in. Also, the squiggly lines on the pink and green soccer ball make it look more like an Abby Normal brain.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

#2 looks like a penis jumping rope. What is it?!

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Lmao. These cakes are hilarious. I wonder if even half the wreckerators know what a soccer ball looks like. Judging from these probably not.

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Thanks, khereva!

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterA Friend

Too funny. The pink/green one is awesome. :)

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

#5 looks like some kind of sea anemone... WTH?

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Until now, I wasn't aware that green sea urchins fed on tiny soccer balls!

And is it just me, or does cake #6 look a little like Epcot? ;-)

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird


June 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

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