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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Tell Me What You Want, What You Really Really Want

Sometimes when a cake makes no sense, it's helpful to ask yourself, "What do you suppose the customer asked for?"

Insults 101: When calling a girl a dog, it's always helpful to be breed-specific.


(For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure that's not how Mrs. Hopperband spells her name.)


"Look, I just want what every girl wants for her birthday: a big- a$$ cake!"

Eh. [shrugging] As I'm sure every cake-loving girl would agree: close enough. Pass the forks!


Sometimes you just want a sugary baked good for no reason at all. And yet, without an inscription, what can Wreckerators wreck? That's why they're so adamant that your cake say something.

And that's also why we get Wrecks like these:

Give it a minute.


Jen B., Stephanie W., Autumn R., & Sara G., one "Ho Thing Special," comin' up.


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Reader Comments (32)

My basset mixes, DarbyQ and Willow, say Aroooooooooooooooo to that first cake!

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Well, of course the last confection was for Ho Chi Minh's developmentally challenged little brother.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I think the "Big Ass Cake" may have been a joke - that is, deliberate. If someone surprised me with that, I'd just get out my biggest carving knife and start serving (once I was able to stop laughing).

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnne B.

Okay; I know SOMEBODY'S got to do it, so..."Please, may I have a piece of ass...........cake?"
That last thing? I gave it a minute, and still didn't get it. (Guess it's a ho thing.) =^-.-^=

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Jenfrom edible photo of a naked Mohawk-baby carrot jockey can always make me smiley face picture of some kind pick something out, even if I'm in a modeling chocolate figure of a crying baby mood. Sprinkles something funny frosting balloons, general flotsam.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I came here to post some witty comment about a Big Ass but my train of thought got knocked off the rails when I read SuBee's comment. I'll be laughing about that all day.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Not gonna lie- I totally want the Big Ass CakeĀ® for my next birthday.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Wonderful, SuBee. Are you a cake wreck orator, by any chance? You have the talent for it!

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Big @$$ cake?!?!? ROTL-LMAO!!

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Big ass cake is actually pretty funny XD

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I thought the Hopper cake said "Bond bride" Bond...James Bond. (thought he never married so I'm not sure how that would work...)

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSB

I would totally go for a BIG ASS CAKE. But preferably with a hyphen between the first two words.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

Should we be making fun of the Big Ass Cake? Because it could have been much MUCH worse.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Au contraire, SB, the "Bond Bride" is Diana Rigg!
[On Her Majesty's Secret Service]. That's how I read it, too...

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterajay

I think "Bond Bride" Could be "Blonde Bride" . I would never write on a cake till I checked the spelling. If the employee wasn't there i called the customer. I look at what the Decorator does that took my place at work and shake my head. They're all Fondont bows and sprays. That is not being a decorator.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

@ SuBee!!!!! ROFLMAO!! If I didn't "know" you so well, I'd have been lost, but, as I am CERTAIN that you are a (fairly ) sane human being with proper grammar 99.9% of the's a VERY good thing I have learned to not drink and blog surf at the same time, my computer monitor would have been a goner!

Have I told y'all lately how much I love this place!!?

CW forever....with sprinkles.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Doesn't the last cake look like HoThing instead of Nothing?
But at least Special is correctly spelled!

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Maliga

Band Bride? Well, that would be the honorable thing after that one time at band camp.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

But wouldn't the order have been... " I don't want nothing special on there?" That's how we'd say it in the south.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy in Nashville

I read the second cake as "Bound Bride" O_o

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

I less than 3 you @SuBee! I needed that today.

No baby yet if anybody is wondering.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

But if you "don't want nothing special on here" wouldn't that get you something special? Oh, no I forgot, we're talking about wreckerators here, so the double negative rule wouldn't mean anything to them...

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I assume they were asked, "What do you want it to say?" Or something along those lines. :) But if that's the case, they couldn't read the writing. It looks like it says HoThing Special.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterVicki

@SB, I read it exactly the same way!
SueBee, that was classic. And scary, as I was able to figure out exactly what you were doing. I think I've spent too much time on this site.

January 28, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Band Bride is so much kinder than 'groupie'.

January 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMark in SF

Big Ass Cake could be a call back to T-Pain's infamous Big Ass Chain.

[I don't know html :(( ]

January 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCandace

#1: At least the flowers are pretty, no, ummm well-made, no not that either. Okay, at least they are purple.
#2: Band brides never bothered me. I was always afraid there would be a band baby on my watch as chaperon.
#3: I'm with Erica - that cake could have been MUCH worse. Especially with Kim Kardashian's photo-shoot.
#4: That story is pretty funny, actually. The local ho's were running a "thing" special. Two "things" for the price of one. :)

January 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Well I would definitely want to eat the big ass cake lol. That other one looks like ho thing special which makes me wonder what on earth were they drinking lol.

January 30, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Ho thing special? You usually gotta go under the bridge down at The Point for one of those...

February 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmberlin

I'm dieing! >~<

February 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

Where is the " big ass"? i only see a cake.

February 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLissa

I think the Big Ass Cake is awesome! There is an actual company called Big Ass Solutions that makes extra-large sized fans for industrial buildings (Big Ass Fans) and lighting for industrial buildings (Big Ass Light), I wonder if this cake was made for a company party of theirs, because the letters look like the ones on a previous logo of theirs.

March 1, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDeedub

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