My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Say What, Again?

Sometimes people often send me their cakes with no back story, which usually isn't a big deal, but other times...




I like to think this is the same James:


And all together, now:

"Nana nana nana nana nana... da heck?"


Now here's a reader who knows how to properly stage a photo:

Never have I been so grateful for a pair of quotation marks.


Deep Thoughts
From The Bakery:

I guess it must be a birthday cake? Maybe?

"Gee, thanks, Mom."
"And don't forget to show your friends the new sweater vest I got you!"


I think "Danngeous" is supposed to be "dangerous."

Sooo, I'm guessing they never saw these bon-bons, then.


"And thank YOU for putting them out again."


This is one of those times I wish I was a baker:

I mean, the urge to put a plastic roach in this thing must have been OVERWHELMING.


And finally:

That says "Happy Holidays Mile High Ferret Club."


[drops mic]


Thanks to Jessica L., James S., Antoine J., Anony M., Erica M., Lynne M., Landon D., Karl, & Deirdre M. for letting our imaginations run wild... presumably alongside a bunch of pregnant ferrets.


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Reader Comments (34)

As creepy-hilarious as the idea of people getting romantic with ferrets is, I suspect that the "Mile High Ferret Club" is a ferret club based out of Denver, CO, otherwise known as "The Mile-High City".

Visiting their website at (also ew) confirms this.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAndy S.

I guess the secret's out. When your cancer goes into remission, a guy named James comes to live with you. I think he's supposed to make sure you're living your best life, or whatever, but let me tell you, he just sits around on your furniture all day boasting about his gaming victories and the fact that he's not a "registered" anything. Seriously, if your teen is on fire, he won't do a thing to put them out. I guess that might be a good thing. At least our James is bug free, ferret free and doesn't seem to be danngeous (that's French, right?)

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Cancer/James: Is James a new cure for cancer? Has this been researched and peer-reviewed? Is that treatment FDA-approved or still experimental? Inquiring minds need to know!

Ignighting: Is that setting teens on fire only at night?

The last cake is a miserable, vomitous mass of freakish decor. I'll bet $100 the wreckerator is also a hoarder.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Whew, I just googled "Mile High Ferret Club" and was relieved to find that my hopes were confirmed. According to their website, these are not folks who fondle ferrets in a fuselage, rather, they are ferret aficionados residing in the Mile High City, aka Denver. Bullet dodged, brain still intact.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMirthMistress

Um… the last one.

*backing away*

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

*opens mouth*
*closes it*
Nope, I got nothin'.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

The only thing I can think of for that last one is, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Need backstories PPPLLLEEAAASSEEE thanks mirthmistress for solving one of the cake mysteries

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"Say what again!" Nice Pulp Fiction reference! (I'm not sure you intended it, though) I read these cakes with Samuel L. Jackson in mind - made the cakes that much more amusing!
@ MirthMistress: Thanks for clarifying...!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

You win the Internet today, SuBee. I was laughing, and then I read your comment, at which point I reached something beyond laughter that involved near-hyperventilation and a serious ab workout! Kudos to you!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie J

I need a witty comment about wedding cake being dangerous....

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

So the ferret club has two human members, according to the cake pictured. It also has one ferret. But the ferret's a real cutie, from what I can make out...*squint*...Gotta love the little Santa hat! =^-.-^=

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Actually, the decor on that last one represents what's left of the Xmas tree after the Club's monthly ferret play date is over.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterms_xeno

I think in the two years since discovering I've commented only once. Today, I post again, because you people need a standing ovation. I love you all! So many times when I'm feeling sad and blue, I look to my computer for the lift-me-up, pee-my-pants laughter that I'm sure to get from y'all. Thank you for your comments. You make the world a better place! And to Jen, John and Sharyn: *bows in humble adoration* Thank you.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDonna Michelle

So after reading the other comments its nice to know that "The Mile High Ferret CLub" is because Denver is known as the Mile high city. phew! That being said, does the person or people that thought that slogan up not realize that "The Mile High Club" and "ferret" should not be combined?

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKarla

Maybe the "James" on the first cake is referring to "The James" cancer research hospital at Ohio State University.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I think that last one is now my most favourite cake wreck ever.....the use of colour, the free handing of the jetsom, the pictures of the two is all just too too too much!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersuzie

James is the name of a top cancer hospital in ohio that recently opened their brand new building.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJames

I think James is just a euphamism for a new worse cancer. So, if you read it in Seinfeld's voice when he sees Newman:

Goodbye Cancer
Hello James.


In other news, igniting teens ruled as protected speech. :P

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

This is my idea about cake #1 ...

Until that cancer was cleared, or in remission, she (I am presuming she, but it is only a presumption) would not allow herself the hope of a new relationship. And then she got the news, the all-clear ... and from somewhere came James, whom I imagine waiting patiently, held away at arm's length, honoring her request to wait until ... And then ... Yes! With cake!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMrs Bridgewater

Ever since seeing the first cake I've had that Chorus Line song stuck in my head:

Goodbye twelve, goodbye thirteen.
Hello love....

Robert Goulet, Robert Goulet,
My God, Robert Goulet!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachael

Well hello James..... and your furniture.... Wanna join the Mile High Ferret Club? Wink wink. (Just need to "register" first.)

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCindyLoo

You are all just too too much! I LOVE today's post. Thank you for the hysterical comments and for the wreckage. What a great way to spend lunch! SueBee and TLC you get thumbs up for today's comments!

I think that last cake was decorated BY the ferrets. That would explain a LOT.

And I like the explanation for "hello James" by Mrs. Bridgewater. Yes yes! Cancer is gone and I got my energy back! "Hello, James.... wanna fool around?" That's way better than it just being a cancer center. booooring ...

You are all wonderful. Have a lovely weekend.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

My husband, James, once had an unfortunate incident with a ferret, our daughter recently got married, my brother is an exterminator, my 3 sons love Batman and spend way too much time playing video games and I love decorating cakes! Except for , thankfully, the sex offender one I think someone has been spying on my family and making a cake record of our lives!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

As a Columbus OH resident, I get that first cake instantly - The James is a cancer research hospital affiliated with The Ohio State University.

As for the others, particularly the Mile High Ferret Club... Nope... No explanation.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDebby

Ugh. That police car one...YOU'RE.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

Snort!! @CindyLoo's comment made me chock on my dinner!! :D

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

The 5th one is a good one for Law Enforcement Appreciation Day!

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Re: Mile High Ferret -- A couple of years ago, I was on a train ride along the Oregon coast (it was a dinner train). We came to a stop half-way through and one of the couples sitting across the aisle from me got up and went to the restroom. They came back in a bit and told the other couple with them that they were now members of the "Sea-Level Club." I sure as heck hope there isn't a cake for that.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Along with some ferret, um, leavings, I think the last one contains the missing bugs from the preceding wreck.

January 9, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Oh sheesh lol. I really have no words especially for the mile high ferret club since my brain decided it had enough and ran away. Yup wreckerators have scared me brainless lol.

January 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Maybe James' boy parts are full of radiation and mastectomy coupons. (Archer reference, paraphrased)

January 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

For once, the comments are funnier than the cakes. The cakes were mostly confusing without the back story.

January 10, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I couldn't bring myself to eat any of these. They're works of art! There should be a museum for this kind of art! How about it?????

January 11, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarl

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