These 9 Bakery Windows Are All The Warning You'll Ever Need

I'm always amazed by the amount of cake wrecks in shop windows. It's almost as if the bakers themselves are trying to warn us off, in an "abandon hope, all ye who enter here" kind of way.

That or they're operating a secret meth lab in back, and don't want customers wandering in.

Either way, can't say they didn't warn us!

Even Elmo is afraid to stop smiling. No sudden moves, anyone.


Nothing says, "just stack that anywhere" quite like this bakery'

Are those stitches?

Alrighty, then.


Don't worry; it's probably not mold:


And these eyes do not - I repeat, do NOT - follow you when you turn around:



If you stand there long enough, I hear this shop will send someone out to loudly explain it's a sand castle, and let's see YOU do any better, thank you very much:

You must admit, the bursting confetti sprays from the "towers" are inspired. something DIRTY.



Someone tells me this is supposed to be a pork pie:



And this is either a floating circus tent, or a cooking pot smashed on top of an octopus:

Either way, way to appeal to the masses, guys.


This next one tells the tale of Chompers, the molar-stealing clown who sends kids to their deaths on a rickety old roller coaster:

...but Chompers also raises miniature horses, so you know he has a sensitive side.


Of course, sometimes you don't need display cakes to grab attention.
Sometime you just need a cunning shop name:

That, or a cunning linguist.


Thanks to Wendee, Anna A., Becka D., Elise H., D.C., Karen, Niki B., Norah B., Mic N., & Cunnilicious Cakes, which is NOT an erotic bakery, but has apparently never googled that word.


PS - you should probably turn on your safe search first.


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