I don't know why, minions, but it's true: bakers hate the Ninja Turtles.
How else can you explain this?
Aw, a lobster reached across his face and tried to flex. SO CUTE.
So fierce are the flames of this loathing that some bakers are driven - DRIVEN, I say - to churn out new turtle-'trocities every week!
Did they hear "Cowabunga" one too many times as a child?
Is this retribution for the Turtles' anchovy & fudge sauce pizza orders?
Are these bakers secret members of The Foot Clan?!
Or - and this one is truly unthinkable - do they not like the new theme song*?
♫ The good guys win and bad guys lose! ♪
[awkwardly stops chair dancing]
Whatever the reason, bakers, can't we all just get along?
And stop shoving spoons in Raphael's face?
After all, bakers, we really don't need you destroying our childhood heroes.
We have movie producers for that.*
Thanks to Amanda S., Carrie H., Crista C., Aubrey D., Becca, Cat R., Sharlyn W., Anony M., Jennifer J., & Tabatha B. for the excuse to post this:
ALL TOGETHER NOW!
[resumes chair dancing]
[* Though I'm optimistic about Lady Ghostbusters. Did you see the new trailer that dropped today?]