My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen


Bakers, as a self-professed expert in the art of romantic puns, I feel confident in stating the following:

If you draw a bee on your Valentine's cake, then you have to write "Bee Mine."


Not this:


Not this:


And definitely not this:

(I'm not sure which is worse: the suspense or the grammar.)


Conversely, if you do write "Bee Mine" on your Valentine's cake, then for Stay Puft's sake, DON'T FORGET THE BEE.

This bee chose NOT to be.


You'll also want to avoid forgetting the bee, misspelling "Be Mine," and generally confusing the heck out of your customers:


Aha, that clears things up. Thanks, John.


Thanks to Julie B., Brittany R., Marin O., Lauren P., & Maria B. for being the best "be mine" bee miners mine eyes have ever bee-held.


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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« Conversation Starters | Main | 10 Sunday Sweets I'd Make For Valentines If I Could »

Reader Comments (22)

On the second cake - are those bees or birds? Is it time to have "The Talk?"

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChrissy

On that second cake, I think those might be birds, not bees. (That could open up a whole new direction for this post, but I won't go there). Suffice to say, regarding cake #2, it leads me to this - Two bees, or not two bees? That is the question.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

At least the Bee Mine heart cake has a teeny-tiny butt in the upper left corner, so it's got that going for it.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I have heard "mine" pronounced as "mines" - his, hers, mines - and it drives me NUTS!

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Oh, I was thinking of explosives. Careful where you cut or bite into that cake.

The second cake's "bees" look like fish.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

To bee or not to bee, that is the question
Whether 'tis nobler for the cakes to suffer
The buttercream of outrageous bakers
Or to take arms against a sea of puns
And insectless confuse them. To decorate
No more? And in that bakery to end
The heart-ache and a thousand stifled laughs
That Jen produced? Tis a consumption
Devoutly to be wished. To decorate
Perchance with class, ay, there's the rub.
For in that sleep of cakes what else may come
When they have shuffled off all moldy forms?
At once, the Cake wrecks blog to lose
And Jen and John their income want.
That must give us pause. And so we say.
Though "bakers" may not earn the word
And icing grammar scream for change
Yey, though we may their art disclaim
We would have it otherwise.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

I don't see why that second cake was included; it clearly depicts two yellow tadpoles kissing, and has nothing to do with bees.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

I laughed way too hard on the bee mines.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Oh, "Someone new": you have the eloquence of Shakespeare. The brilliance of Pepys. And the erudition of Swift. Never stop!
...and THIS is why I read the comments. Thanks, Jen and your Honey, John.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCarol S-B

This whole post was making me snicker, but then I scrolled down to the bee mines and went into a fit of choked laughter so hard it hurt.

Well done, John(thoJ). Well done.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

Yeah, thanks for clearing that up, John; I was totally picturing carefully buried exploding bees....

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterkarilon

#2 - I'm with the others on those being birds, not bees. They're probably supposed to be lovebirds, which are sometimes yellow with orange beaks.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAndara

On the second cake, I can see two badly-drawn birds, or if I squint, two even-more-poorly-drawn fish, but bees are right out.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

Bravo, @someone new.

Also, I second that those are definitely fish on the second cake (that's how I draw them at least).

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I was thinking of a land mine that, when you stepped on it, released the bees.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSim

But how do I mine for cake?

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRK

For that last cake I was picturing landmines that shoot out bees, which seems like a terrifying device from The Hunger Games.

February 11, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Oh, I totally thought the last one was a warning about explosives bees. Bee careful out there.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I can understand why the bee fled from that one cake I wouldn't want to be there either lol.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Thank you for all the kind remarks. I did get the last line wrong. It should be
"We would NOT have it otherwise."

I thought you all deserved some class after my previous dance choon. Maybe I should stick to poetry. Hmm.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New

On the subject of bees and mines, I was picturing bees, a particularly dangerous species of killer bees, setting land mines.

February 12, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLauraB

To be fair, other than the "bee" in the last one, in New Mexico, they say "mines" for "mine" all the time. Maybe it's from there? Or maybe wreckerators will "bee" keeping you in blogging business for a LONG time!

February 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJ B

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