Weird Ways To Congratulate Someone


Minions, there are a lot of new graduates among you, so let me be the first (or third) to say:

Frankly, most of us didn't even know you could read.

But hey, now that you're slightly more educated and vastly more in debt, there's nothing like a cake to celebrate that thing you dit:

Kimberly+Str-FB-grad+cake.jpg

I'm still not hip to all your Gen X'er lingo, so I don't actually know what "dit" means - but It definitely looks less than pleased.

HT-it-clown-tv-series-jef-161027_4x3_992.jpg

"How dare you"

Still, as any homicidal clown will tell you, there's more than one way to butcher a congratulatory cake.

Like when Victoria's kids tried to get her a cake that said, "To the Best Mom":

Victoria+Nei-FB-bus+mom.jpg

Just say she picks you up when you're feeling down, kids. It'll be adorable.

Or tell her she smells like a bus. I dunno. You'll think of something.

Here's a bakery that decided to boldly go where no one had gone before.
 Namely, their display window.

I call this Beethoven's Early Morning Movement.

:D

Although as far as poo cakes go (snerk), that ones's not half bad. In fact my favorite thing about poop emoji cakes is how they look about a hundred times LESS like poop than your average wreckerator's roses:

Great festering fecundity of floral fecality!

Those are some crappy flowers, y'all.

Hang on, there's a joke about poop smelling like roses here somewhere, help me find it...

And finally, you know that Jimi Hendrix song with the line "'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky"- which sounds exactly like, "'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy"? 

At least three of you are nodding. Three of you know what I'm talking about.

THIS CAKE IS FOR YOU THREE:

Jennifer+Chr-FB-firefighter+This+Guy.jpg

That was supposed to say "This guy is on fire," but I'm loving how the baker was like, Oh, an

ominous portend of doom on a graduation cake? AWESOME LET ME TYPE THAT UP.

Thanks to Lisanne B., Kimberly S., Victoria N., Sarah F., Jacqueline D., & Jennifer C., who are also on fire, but in a purely metaphorical sense which requires no kissing. Sorry.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: