The Bakery Order Book IS A LIE

We all know asking a bakery to match a cake photo you brought in is inviting disaster, but what about the photos in their own order book? SURELY they can match those, right?

[poker face]
[lip quiver]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA! Heehee! Hoo! Heh. Aheh. Heh.

[wiping eyes]

Sorry. I held it together as long as I could, honest.

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I want you to pay close attention to that faux wood grain and the rock pattern on this one.

 

Now, notice how they...

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...didn't include any of that.

 

Aren't the silver screw heads edging this motorcycle design super cool?

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Yeah, you will never ever ever ever ever ever get those on your cake.

Ever.

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Also, your flames will look like melty tentacles.

 

Now here's a SUPER easy one:

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Practically everything you see is plastic, so all the baker has to do is add a star and some squiggly lines. THAT'S IT.

 

Drum roll, please:

LisaCue.ow.result.jpg

:headdesk:

 

Maybe you think ordering an intentionally "messy" design is the answer:

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Good plan! And yet...

dawnham.ow.graduationframehandwritingresult28wrotebdayinstead29.jpg

NOPE.

 

I do have some good news, though. With another year of Frozen cakes under their belts, bakers are finally starting to improve on that always-disastrous kit design!

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Ok, so I lied.

But c'mon, those "mountains" had to be shared with the world.
ALL HAIL THE GLORY OF THE PINK BAKED POTATO.

 

Thanks to Christian P., Tanis C., Lisa C., Dawn H., & Lavon C., for discovering Olaf also likes warm spuds.

*****

Hang on, here's one last giggle:

Cotton Chef Apron w/ 4 Pockets

We all know someone who needs this apron, right?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: