Brought To You By Seymour Butz

Remember when I used to rail against the cannibalistic indignity that is the baby butt cake?

Ah, those were some good times.

....

Let's do that again!

Hm. Given those "legs" and the hastily edited "Baby," you have to wonder what the baker thought they were making.

After all, bakers don't always have the firmest grasp on the whole "edible butt" concept.

For example, "broken legs shoved under a table" isn't quite what we're going for here:

Ow.

Parents, don't let childhood obesity get the upper butt on you:

Also watch out for TLS - teeny leg syndrome.

And while you're at it, parents, maybe wait 'til your baby is a little older before dousing their lower half with self-tanner:

I mean, c'mon, the cheeky little devil is barely half-grown!

'Course, sometimes a butt cake is more than just a butt cake.:

Sometimes it's a Toddler Torso cake.

Or, if you're lucky, sometimes it's a snaggle-toothed-monster-popping-through-a-sheet-cake-and-about-to-eat-a-rose cake:

Don't even try to tell me you don't see it.

And finally, for those of you who, like me, think the idea of ingesting a cake shaped like the poop-factory end of an infant is kind of disturbing, just remember:

...it sure beats getting a head.

Thanks to Maria S., Deidre P., Aubrey A., Anony M., Renee W., Roman S., & Debra for cracking us up today.

*****

If you don't read this in a snooty accent you're doing it wrong:

Funny "I Do Believe" Baby Body Suit
:D
It also comes in solid colors, but the stripes are the best.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Infantile Humor

[Tinkling bell]

[very polite Englishman] "Yes, I'd like to order a baby shower cake, if I might. Something perhaps a bit creepy. Not fond of the mother, you see."

[very polite English salesman] "Yes, of course, of course... Might I suggest our Face of Birth cake?"

"Hm, yes, it is quite creepy, but I was thinking something a bit more, if that's not too much trouble?"

"Not at all, sir. Perhaps this will be more to your liking?"

"Oh, that is unsettling... but could we remove the body?"

"Say no more. I've just the thing:"

"Yes, yes, I can see how that might send a bit of a shiver. Could we maybe bury the baby IN the cake, though? Perhaps add a crustacean?"

"Ahh, the old 'crustacean on half a newborn!' That's my specialty, sir, and it's quite creepy - if I do say so myself."

"You know, I truly appreciate your effort, my good man, but I think we've missed the mark. I tell you what: just make something vaguely baby shaped and slap it on the ugliest cake you can find. Think we could do that?"

"Of course, sir, and may I compliment you on your excellent sense of humor? I shall have it post haste."

Thanks to Britani, Valentina V., Alexia O., Alison P., & Zahirah for the ruddy good time.

*****

P.S. If the parents were born in the 90s, bring this to the baby shower, too:

"O Is For Old School, A Hip Hop Alphabet For B.I.G. Kids Who Used To Be Dope"

Aw yeah, that's jammin' on the one, yo.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: