Peek-A-WHO?!

Sometimes when I'm bemoaning the fact that most cakes today are just plastic flotsam delivery vehicles...

Here's your cake, enjoy! Just don't try to eat that thing. Or that one. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. 

...Or that.

...I remember there's a REASON bakers rely so heavily on flotsam and toys:

Nemo? More like Ne-NO, am I right? 

[Ba-dum-CHA!]

I... I think this is supposed to be Spider-Man:

Hold me.

Now, see, this would have been perfect if the customer had actually ASKED for a zombie-fied Spongebob:

As it is, I'm pretty sure little Levi needs therapy now.

This Darth Vader cookie is so ridiculously pathetic that I actually kind of love it:

(At least, I hope it's Vader. If not, then I'm never getting those thirty seconds of squinting back. Never EVER, you guys.)

Seriously, it's so bad I want to hug it. 

And I like how the baker just gave up on the other cookie cakes, like she was all, "YOU GET VADER OR YOU GET NOTHING."

And finally, let's end with a little mystery:

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?

Please, you guys, I have to know.

It says "Where Kermet," so of course my first thought was Kermit the Frog. But it's blonde and has four eyes with a giant red clown nose. Or is the red thing its mouth? And why "Where Kermet?" Where Kermet what? Where he stores his wigs? Where he met his untimely demise? 

I went back to Holly J.'s original e-mail, seeking answers, and was delighted to find she'd included a few more angles of the mystery:

....

Well, THAT clears things ups, doesn't it? 0.o

 Hang on. Holly says she thinks this is... MISS PIGGY!? Really? I mean, I guess she must be right, but... How. HOW. How is this possible?

I will not rest until I have answers!

Or until I get tired. Or John gets back with our burritos.

But otherwise, TOTALLY NOT RESTING.

Thanks to Sabrina, Kristen O., Sean K., Patrice D., Tori S., & Holly J. for pointing out today's character flaws. We know it's only because you care, guys.

*****

P.S. Good news, there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II

This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

With Apologies to Julie Andrews

♫ Bulbous-nosed witches who probably eat kittens

Messages piped out that should be rewritten

(Supposed to read "Congratulations Wojtek From Thunder Road")

Cakes decorated with smeared silly string

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

Is that a tongue sticking out of that poodle?

Were they attempting to make ersatz noodles?

"Congradulations" with Doritos rings

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

Plumber's jeans that don't quite cover their "assets"

Creepy-faced smiley with too-thick eyelashes

Harry and Gollum and wands holding rings

Bakers make some of the wreckiest things!

Though these dogs might

Be all frosting

 Though these cakes are bad!

I simply remember these wreckiest things

And then I just can't

Feel sad! ♪

 BIG thanks to Katie G., Victoria L., J.R., Vanessa M., Lisa H., Pete Z., Andrea G., Darla H., Becca T., Rachel L., and J.C.  You know you're my favorites, right?

*****

P.S. If you're going to wear an Easter tee this year, THIS IS THE WAY:

Star Wars Grogu Easter T-Shirt

This one's the child's size, but it also comes in adult sizes and tons more colors.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: